Your baby's sleep - Settling Your BabyThe Feed / Play / Sleep System Feed / Play / Sleep is an important part of establishing a good routine. The 3 steps need to remain separate. - Feeding is in your arms
- Down is where you play
- Sleeping is in a cot
Establishing the Feed / Play / Sleep routine will enable you to watch for and recognize tired signs. When you see tired signs and you know that baby has already been fed, you should implement the settling techniques straight away. Do not wait until your baby is already hungry, tired and grumpy, thus allowing them to fall asleep in your arms. This does not however mean that love and cuddles are sacrificed. These should be incorporated into their playtime as much as you wish to, and don’t forget that you are still feeding in your arms, the only difference is that you are not letting them fall asleep in your arms. 
How to recognise tired signs Tired cries are different to hunger cries. You will often notice your baby will be playing happily on the floor one minute and then for no apparent reason will start to yawn, grizzle, rub their eyes, or arch their back. These are classic tired signs. Other signs are: not wanting to feed, not happy when picked up and not happy when put down. In an older child they can become nasty. These are all tired signs and when these signs are shown then settling should begin. The Key Steps to Settling Your Baby The decision to change your baby’s sleeping habits is not one you will make lightly. Generally parents have reached their threshold of exhaustion when they decide to take on the commitment of change. These techniques are not for everyone, there is some crying involved. Some babies will respond immediately to the techniques while others can take up to 3 weeks. Persistence is the key to success as babies learn from repetition. Try to hold this thought – these settling techniques will be no harder than what you are already going through. The following things should be considered before starting a settling program. - Ensure your baby is well.
- Any concerns you might have should be cleared with your doctor before starting.
- If your baby becomes unwell during the weeks that you are attempting to get the program to work, stop and start again when they are well.
- Make sure you yourself are well. It won’t do either of you any good to be starting a new routine under stress.
- Try to keep a fairly free week so you can devote as much time and effort as possible into making the program work. A busy schedule will make it harder to do the techniques with each sleep and take longer to work.
- If you have other caregivers, make sure they follow the new routine. This is to ensure that there are no mixed messages being given.
- Make sure the cot is well ventilated with no bumpers or pillows
- Remove all toys from the cot. The cot should be designated for sleeping rather than playing.
- Have a dim night light so as baby can see their surroundings when they wake.
- Make sure your partner is agreeable about the new routine. Even if they don’t wish to be overly involved in the settling, explain to them what it is that you are attempting to do so they can appreciate the added pressure you are under. They too will be great beneficiaries of a child that sleeps well.
- If not your partner, try and have a support person to take over for you if need be.
Visual demonstration is still the best way to ensure you are performing the techniques correctly and will answer many individual concerns such as colic, reflux, teething, falling asleep at the breast etc. For further information obtain a copy of the It’s Time to Sleep DVD or book via the link to the web site www.itstimetosleep.com. It’s Time to Sleep is also available from major bookstores. Newborn - 6 months SIDS and Kids recommend wrapping a baby1 and sleeping them on their back. We always recommend that all parents follow SIDS guidelines when your baby is asleep. During the program we use a technique of settling a baby on their side, however you should never leave your baby to sleep in this position. Follow these steps to settle your baby:
- Wrap your baby firmly but not tightly in a lightweight material, cotton or muslin is ideal. This will help him feel secure and take control of his hands, stopping him from catching himself on the face if he flails around. Once baby is sleeping we will then loosen the wrap and roll baby onto their back. Always ensure wrapping is well secured and unable to cover your babies breathing passages. Wrapping is not required after the age of 3 months.
 - Place him in his cot on his side, facing away from you, and with his feet close to the end of the cot. This is to avoid any eye contact.
- Make a note of the time: you’re going to give him 15 minutes to settle. Place one hand on his shoulder and with the other hand pat his bottom. He will probably be crying at this stage but keep patting. When the crying stops then stop the patting. The aim is to get him to fall asleep by himself not pat him off to sleep. If the crying starts again, start patting.
- If after 15 minutes he has not settled, pick him up give him a cuddle to settle him down (be careful not to rock him off to sleep) then turning him onto his other side (you will need to go around to the other side of the cot) begin the settling again for a further 15 minutes. You can settle for up to one hour, but after that you should offer a drink.
- Once he is sleeping you can then roll him onto his back and loosen and secure the wrap.
- Anything under one hour is considered a catnap and you should use the settling techniques to resettle without picking them up first.
6 to 12 months - Lie your baby in his cot on his back with his feet to the end of the cot, cover him and say “it’s time to sleep” and leave the room.
- Wait outside for 2 minutes, he will probably be protesting. After 2, minutes go back into the room and lay him on his side facing away from you to avoid eye contact. Place one hand on his shoulder and with the other hand pat his bottom – repeating “it’s time to sleep". When the crying stops then stop the patting. Be careful not to pat baby off to sleep, the aim is to get him to sleep independently. If after 2 minutes he is still crying, leave the room and wait outside for 4 minutes this time.
- If baby is still protesting after 4 minutes outside the room, go back in and settle the same way, this time for 4 minutes.
- Keep increasing the time outside the room and inside the room by 2 minutes each time (2, 4, 6, 8, 10) until you have reached 10 minutes. It is recommended not to leave a baby longer than ten minutes at any time. If after 1 hour of trying your baby has not settled, pick him up, offer a drink and a reassuring cuddle. During the day if baby has not responded get him up and try again next sleep. During the night you will need to persist with the techniques until he is asleep.
Tips on settling the older toddler Getting an older toddler to stay in their bed is a real problem for many parents. They can often wind up sleeping in your bed every night or you in their bed. You would probably be surprised to know that many of these children don’t even know that what they are doing is not okay. Unless you let them know that it’s NOT okay nothing is going to change. Why should it? They think it’s what they’re supposed to do so it happens every night. Letting your toddler fall asleep watching television and then carrying them to bed asleep is a mistake many parents make to avoid a conflict at bedtime. They wake during the night and are not where they fell asleep making them insecure. They then look for your comfort. To settle a toddler, try the following: - After the bath have some quiet time. Never over stimulate them at bedtime with rough or loud play. Allow them to have a drink, go to the toilet or put on a clean nappy and then choose a story or two.
- Set the number of stories to be read before you begin and stick to it, remember you must be in control not your little one.
- When trying a new routine, perhaps get them a nice new bedtime friend, if they stay in their bed they can have it, but if they get out of bed then let them know that you will take it away.
- Say good night and leave the room. If they get up just keep putting them back and leaving. If it goes on for too long, let them know that next time they get up you will have to shut the door. Keep in mind that what ever you say you are going to do you need to follow through.
1. See the following information regarding Wrapping an Infant
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