Your birth partner, what's their role?

I’m a bit ashamed to admit this, but when I was in labour with our firstborn I threw a magazine at my husband. He ducked and it sailed past his head luckily enough.
In fairness he was driving me crazy at the time. Labour was not the experience I had imagined it to be. I knew it would be painful and tiring. I’d done the classes, written out a birth plan and was as prepared as I could be.

My husband and I had been asked all the questions about how we’d cope with it,and he’d come armed with towels to wipe my brow, music to play and we’d even done a class where he learned to massage me.

That all sounds lovely and thoughtful doesn’t it?
In fact my labour initially was a bit of a snoozefest in that it went on forever and the reality for me was that I had to do a great deal of the hard work on my own.

So in between contractions my husband read a magazine. I’d already made my irritation with his massage skills clear. There is a big difference between a soothing massage with oils when you aren’t contracting, and someone rubbing your back, at the same time something that feels like an elephant is trying to exit your nether regions.

Strangely the midwife didn’t have the same problem. I practically purred like a kitten when she rubbed my back. Looking back I can see the difference was that she knew what she was doing whereas my poor stressed out partner didn’t really.

However when my labour became a medical emergency my husband was amazing. He was calm, in control and held my hand as I completely lost it. I know now he was as terrified as I was but he stepped up for me when I needed him to.

For our next two deliveries it was a much more relaxed affair and we laughed and joked our way through it. The epidurals were a miracle worker!

Who are you planning in the delivery suite with you?