Hey ladies, just wanting to know what you would do in this situation..

DS was born with 11 fingers, he is now 6 months. We visited the orthopedic surgeon last week and they did their examination and took xrays etc. The surgeon said there was nothing physically wrong with the extra finger, it would be no advantage or hindrance to DS and the only reason to remove it would be cosmetic (he actually said he thought it was pretty cool lol). He said it was our choice what we would do with it. I'm kind of for keeping it, it is part of my son and I think he is perfect. It was how he was made, and I don't want to change that. But part of me wants to have it amputated as I would hate for him to be teased at school. Kids have a knack for teasing anyone who is in the slightest bit different.

I'm thinking about letting DS choose himself when he is old enough. But not sure what age would be best to make that decision. The surgeon said if it was to be amputated, the best age would be around 3 years old.

What would you guys do?

I honestly don't know what decision I would make in that situation.

If you are not 100% sure though I would probably leave it until you are sure. If you had it done and regretted it you can't change it, however if you leave it, it can always be done in the future should you choose to.

I would be a bit torn too - kids can be pretty cruel and I'd be worried about him getting teased. On the other hand - my dd has a birthmark, nothing really obvious, just something on her shoulder blade (sorry I know this is different to what you're considering) and I had relatives ask me if I was going to get it removed because she might get teased about it later.

I felt rather mortified that they even suggested it as I was quite attached to her having her own individual mark and don't feel that it makes her 'ugly' as they were implying! It's still there and I still love it. smile

its a hard decision but i would probably get it removed. my son was born with ear tags on one of his ears and while it didnt bother us and we thought it was cute and a part of him, they were just 3 tiny lumps of cartilidge the size of a pimple or mole but a few family members and friends made a couple of comments. not neccesarily nasty but it was enough for us to start thinking that it may be a problem for him in the future.

we decided to get them removed while he was too young to remember.

My nephew was born with 12 toes, his parents and the dr's decided would be best to amputate them so when he was one and a half he had them surgically removed. He doesnt even remember it but my sister made plaster cast of his feet before hand to show when he gets older.

A friend was born with extra pinkies, her mother had them amputated when she was a baby and she still has little nubs as proof, but she's glad they're gone.

That said, i dont know that i would remove them yet...if it was me i would wait until he was old enough to ask for them to be removed. Maybe...i dont know.... Hubby says he would remove them as a baby.

Good luck in your decision smile

I'd get it done while he's too little to remember. I know you love him just the way he is, but not everyone will be so accepting. By the time he is old enough to choose, the damage from teasing may already be done and recovery is likely to be more painful and inconvenient (if he is at school needing to write etc by then).

That's a really tough decision for you to make.

Honestly, I personally would get it amputated. I would document it really well for him so when he is older he gets the chance to know how he was born. I just couldn't face my child being seen as abnormal by his peers or being teased for something that I could have 'fixed' when he was younger.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

What a hard decision for you to make.

I really don't know what I would do.

I asked DH for his opinion and he thinks that if there is very little risk in getting it removed then it would probably be a better idea to do so.
He went to intermediate with a boy who had 6 fingers on each hand and 6 toes on each foot and DH says he got teased something awful.

I agree with a PP about being 100% sure before you do it though. Like they said - you can always get it removed later, but you can't put it back.

I also think, like another PP it would be good to document it and perhaps make a mold of it so he can see his hand the way it was when he was born.

Its sad that we often need to conform to what is considered normal by society but I think in this case it would cause more psychological harm leaving them there, so I would get them removed, and would do so before he could remember even having them there.

I like the idea of making a plaster cast to show him when he is older though.

But what ever you decide good luck smile sounds like he has very caring parents

Thanks for your thoughts everyone smile

I've definitely ruled out getting it removed as a baby. There are far too many risks putting such a little body under general anesthetic. The extra finger is fused at the knuckle of the adjacent finger. So if it was removed, it would be quite a tricky op and it may effect the use of the other 'normal' finger. In terms of it being a nuisance when he is writing; as the surgeon said, it wouldn't be a hindrance to him. Plus, me and DH are both lefties, so DS is most probably going to be a lefty (the special finger is on his right hand).

When we did go see the surgeons, there was a student there too. She was doing a follow up hip check on DS. The surgeon said to me 'don't tell her why else you are here'. He didn't say at the time, but I knew he was just checking to see if she would even notice the extra finger. And she didn't. Most people don't notice it at all, until I point it out. And they think it's cool (well that's what they say on the outside, you never know what people are thinking). But then again, this is adults, not kids.

When DS was born, DH noticed the finger before any of the midwives. Although I don't remember this, as I was high on life from just giving birth after the most terrible labour, apparently I had a little giggle and said DS would make an excellent pianist lol.

Thanks again for your ideas guys. We still have quite some time to make our decision, as the specialists think the best age for the amputation will be around 3. If anyone else has any opinions or has had similar experiences, chuck them my way grin

I went to primary school with a girl that had an extra pinkie on both hands, she was teased really badly because of it and there is no way that i would put my kid through that. She changed schools every year as the teasing became too much for her.