HI evryone DD is 14 months old now. I love her to bits but to be honest she seems to behind in her devlopmet a fair bit. I feel like i have done something wrong like I haven't been talking or reading to her enough.
She can't walk by herself and only a short distance when I hold her hand. She can only say dat, dad and tat. She also makes a hooting sound and says mummumumum when she see's that I have food. She doesn't call out mum to me but.

I know it's not unusual for a baby not to be walking but considering her speech is poor aswell I am concerned. It doesn't help when dh's family make jokes and call her a retartd(no word of a lie) they say they are only joking but it makes me feel like sh*t(poor little dd). I just don't know what I am doing wrong. I feel like I ahve failed dd. Any suggestions to help her along?

DS walks but I know several 14month olds who are still only crawling so don't worry about that.
and he doesn't say any words- he's close he says "tat=cat" and "bbd= bird" he does the mmmmm and dadada but not actually mummy or daddy.
I did read somewhere (sorry can't remember where) not to stress at this stage if they aren't saying words but more if they don't seem to understand you. Like if you were to say come to mummy and she walks/crawls to the bathroom etc.
I also know of a couple of kids who didn't say any words until they were around 2.

She doesn't sound behind at all to me, but my memory is fuzzy on the 14mth stage. DS walked at 13mths but his cousin waited until 18mths, my friend's boy was 15mths. All within normal range. As for speech that sounds pretty damn normal to me. Honestly I think you need to get your head out of this space that she is behind, it is only affecting you negatively. Your in laws are horrible people and if I was you I wouldn't spend much time around them if possible smile

She sounds like my oldest. dd1 didnt walk until 19 months and she never really spoke. She never 'played' like the other kids (she never held her dolls and play acted or things like that).

dd1 is currently in speech therapy. Have you had her hearing checked? Not by your gp, although you will probably need a referral for it. I really regret not doing it sooner, but she had grommits put in last month and her balance is near perfect (overnight) and she is starting to talk.

As for family calling her names...that's low. If my family did that, i have no idea what would happen. Of course you're second guessing yuorself with all that going on! You know what, though? (and i have to remind myself everyday) You're doing the best possible. You may not remember reading to her enough, but you did. You might feel like you have failed her somewhere but you really havent!!!

Okay, so our little girls are slower than the others, but i bet once they get there, they will be amazing at whatever they were reaching for.

All i can imagine is left for you to do for her is take her to the gp for a check up and see what you can do about getting her ears checked out. Good luck smile and as for those nasty names...shame on them, NOT YOU.

ETA: i agree with the above though, i think it's a little early to say she's slower than the norm.

Thanks guys. I get to a point where I think she is doing good then someone has to come and question me about her walking etc and I start doubting again. As for the retard comment(can't think of a worse word) they started then when she first started waving as she waved with two hands ( I thought it was cute smile ) and even though they laugh about it and state that it is a joke I would never dare call there kids anything like that. Dh has chatted them about it so I am hoping it will stop soon. If it doesn't I won't be having anything to do with them again.

I cannot believe that your family calls your DD a retard! That's disgusting, especially if they have children themselves!!! My DS waves with 2 hands occasionally and normally will wave at himself before us...I think it's cute too!

As Mothers I think we all second guess if we have done a good job raising and teaching our children..but HONESTLY your DD sounds completely normal. And she's waving too, which is a good thing at her age!

The average walking age is 14 months...your DD is just shy of that isn't she? No need to worry there. She's putting weight on her legs and can walk with you which is a great sign.

As for her talking; by 18 months to 2 years old I think the standard is that they should be able to say and recognise 5 words. She's still got at least 4 months to go until then.

As hard as it is, try not to listen to what others say...I got it a lot when DS decided to commando crawl for 4 months before the conventional crawl...Especially people without children didn't understand that he was developing fine...just not how many other babies were. I always responded with, "If he does chose to crawl on all fours, he will do it when HE is ready."

Enjoy your DD as she is, your a great Mum and it is COMPLETELY normal to worry...it's built into your personality and makes you an AMAZING Mum.

The retard comment is really horrible! One of DS's good friends is not walking yet and she is nearly 18 months. My nephew is 16 months and hardly says anything. I don't think DS was saying much at 14 months, he probably only says about 15 - 20 words now at nearly 18 months and many of them are not totally accurate (e.g. pane for plane). I wouldn't be worried at this stage!

HI evryone DD is 14 months old now. I love her to bits but to be honest she seems to behind in her devlopmet a fair bit. I feel like i have done something wrong like I haven't been talking or reading to her enough.
She can't walk by herself and only a short distance when I hold her hand. She can only say dat, dad and tat. She also makes a hooting sound and says mummumumum when she see's that I have food. She doesn't call out mum to me but.

I know it's not unusual for a baby not to be walking but considering her speech is poor aswell I am concerned. It doesn't help when dh's family make jokes and call her a retartd(no word of a lie) they say they are only joking but it makes me feel like sh*t(poor little dd). I just don't know what I am doing wrong. I feel like I ahve failed dd. Any suggestions to help her along?

Make an appointment with your CHN. I became quite concerned with my DS#3 development at around 15 months and went to my gp who said lets just hold out till he's 18 months, at 16 and a 1/2 months I went to my CHN who could see what my concerns were straight away.

At 22 months he is having speech therapy, sees an occupational therapist and physiotherapist and has been for 4 months. He has low muscle tone that is affecting him in all areas of development, right down to him not having full movement of his tongue and he still looks like he's only been walking for a few weeks when he's been walking 7 months but he's making progress. We are looking into having a formal developmental profile done on him by a peadiatritian, his occupational therapist is a little concerned that his progress is still a bit slow.

Follow your mummy instinct!

Helenxx

They called her a retard???!?!?!?!?!?!?! Oooo m gee... Ok first of all I'd tell them to shut there fu***n mouths before my foot goes in there!
And secondly she is only 14 months old. My mother is the parential guardian of one of my nephews who plays a big role in my life. He is now 3.5 yrs old and still attends speech and occupational therapy he was born at 22 wks gestation.. Imagine that 22 wks! He weighed 647gms.. And he was very delayed foremostly with talking... Speech therapy is fantastic.. They recommend that at the age of 1 they should be saying single letter words. Age 2 double letter words and Age 3 triple letter words. Are you from NZ or AU?? Im from AU and here you are entitled to 5 free sessions of any speciality requirement i.e speech, physio, ot and so on... All you need is to see a Child Developmental psychologist and s/he will recommend what your daughter requires. S/he will write a report and then you can take it to your local GP and get a 'Care Plan' written up. Once you have that you can attend any specialist thats required for her (if any) for 5 times (free of charge)

Honestly I know how you feel. Its as if everyone is judging your daughter and you feel so helpless. My nephews mother passed away when he was 10 months old however she was unstable from the begining, and her parental rights were taken off her when my nephew was still in an incubator. So we have had him from day 1.. My nephew was behavioural issues aswell and speech delay and at times people look at him like an allien.. it hurts so much.. But you know wat fu** em! Dont let anyone 'joke' like that.. they should be ashamed of themselves... and its nothing that you did... Every child developes different its good though that you have picked up on it at an early stage.. Early intervention is always the best...

Good luck with it all xx

HI evryone DD is 14 months old now. I love her to bits but to be honest she seems to behind in her devlopmet a fair bit. I feel like i have done something wrong like I haven't been talking or reading to her enough.
She can't walk by herself and only a short distance when I hold her hand. She can only say dat, dad and tat. She also makes a hooting sound and says mummumumum when she see's that I have food. She doesn't call out mum to me but.

I know it's not unusual for a baby not to be walking but considering her speech is poor aswell I am concerned. It doesn't help when dh's family make jokes and call her a retartd(no word of a lie) they say they are only joking but it makes me feel like sh*t(poor little dd). I just don't know what I am doing wrong. I feel like I ahve failed dd. Any suggestions to help her along?

Not a single thing you've said indicates that see seems behind?
My daughter at seventeen months doesn't talk. They're babies. I wouldn't expect them to be saying much just yet.
And there's many many many baby's that don't walk till over a year. Doesn't make yours special because she isn't. makes her seem relatively normal.
She sounds fine. Leave her to her own pace.
As for your dh's family - stand up for your baby.

First of all I think your dd sounds fine. She's only 14 months she is still a baby really. Does she seem happy? Does she try engaging with you even by watching you do things? If you worried I would get her hearing checked but really at that age not many bubs can talk.
And I can't believe anyone would say such hurtful things about your dd and especially family. I really hope they don't say them around your dd as it's amazing how much bubs pick up even at such a young age.
I'm glad your dh has said something to them and I hope they stop.
I'm sure your dd is a wonderful little princess and she will do things when she's ready too. Big hugs to you xxxx

Oh and just wanted to say we've also encountered some very hurtful comments when it's come to our eldest dd who has Aspergers. She is turning 8 in a few months and her speach is not very good. People have ridiculed her when we've been out and it has set her back so much as she's worried they'll make fun of her if the words don't sound right. So now I find she doesn't want to talk to people. I hate that they've made her feel sooo bad sad But even though she's having trouble with speach she is very clever in other ways.

My DD is 14 months old as well and sounds exactly like your little one.
She will walk a few steps holding onto your hands or her push thingy, but doesn't have enough balance to continue very far.
She say mumma and dadda but doesn't mean anything they are just sounds. She does say da (ta) when handing you something only if we say it first. She can also moo when you ask what the cow says. And thats it!!
So if you little one is behind so is mine, but I'm not stressing yet, she is only a baby!

I cannot believe that your family calls your DD a retard! That's disgusting, especially if they have children themselves!!! My DS waves with 2 hands occasionally and normally will wave at himself before us...I think it's cute too!

As Mothers I think we all second guess if we have done a good job raising and teaching our children..but HONESTLY your DD sounds completely normal. And she's waving too, which is a good thing at her age!

The average walking age is 14 months...your DD is just shy of that isn't she? No need to worry there. She's putting weight on her legs and can walk with you which is a great sign.

As for her talking; by 18 months to 2 years old I think the standard is that they should be able to say and recognise 5 words. She's still got at least 4 months to go until then.

As hard as it is, try not to listen to what others say...I got it a lot when DS decided to commando crawl for 4 months before the conventional crawl...Especially people without children didn't understand that he was developing fine...just not how many other babies were. I always responded with, "If he does chose to crawl on all fours, he will do it when HE is ready."

Enjoy your DD as she is, your a great Mum and it is COMPLETELY normal to worry...it's built into your personality and makes you an AMAZING Mum.

Thanks Nic, what you wrote was very nice. just what I needed smile

Thanks everyone, I have to agree when people say things like "can't she do this or that" etc, I start doubting her. But I should know how clever she is by all the other little things she does. She may not say much but defintley is understanding us. She gets her brush and brushes her hair, and puts my headband on! She may not be able to walk but today she learnt how to climb up onto the lounge (oh NO!). I really need to stop thinking so badly when other people judge her.

When I say Dh's family am reffering to his neices and nephues that are about 10-15 yrs old. They started the retard thing and their mother just lets them do it and laughs with them. I will be chatting them about it next time and telling them although they think it's funny, I don't! Thanks for the support ladies smile

It sounds like your feeling better about things but I thought I'd say hi and add my two bob's worth, for what it's worth. grin

First of all, kick those teenagers up the butt!! I can't believe their mother allows them to speak like that. That's really low on both of their parts.

Secondly, you are a fantastic mum so please don't tell yourself otherwise!

But I know exactly how you feel when people make those kind of comments and the doubt it plants in your mind. It's been happening to me too mostly because my DH is constantly worried about DD's development and says it all the time. "Why isn't she walking??", all the time, it does my head in! I've had to tell him to cool it on several occasions. Our DD didn't crawl until the week before her first birthday and at nearly 17 months, she isn't walking yet either although she did take her first few solo steps (very tentative) on new year's eve. Yay!! (Of course DH compares her to her cousin, who walked at 8 1/2 months!!!)

I agree with the others - it sounds like she's absolutely fine and doing things in her own sweet time, just like my DD is. But if you're really worried, have her checked by your health nurse, it can't hurt for your peace of mind. I did with DD when she was about 10 1/2 months and showing no signs of crawling and the nurse did a thorough developmental questionairre and physical exam and found there was nothing wrong. She was ahead of her age in other areas too, which put my mind at ease.

Take care and I hope your mind is more at ease now. Cheers. smile

Thanks Nic, what you wrote was very nice. just what I needed smile

Not a problem. It's the truth! Ahh your teen relatives sound fun :/ There mother very much needs to step up and tell them it is not ok. I would be horrified if my child called another child (albeit a baby!) a retard!

Good luck, I would get hubby to pull his sis up on it. I would roast my bro if he let his kids (he is only 20 and doesn't have any yet lol) say something like that!