Hi there,

I am wondering if it's okay to ask grandparents to get whooping cough injection. I have already asked MIL and the injection is free but she doesn't seem to want to get it. I am not sure why. She came after bubs was born and stayed for a week. Now that Christmas is coming up I asked her again to get it and told her it was free..(actually DP asked her for me). Anyway, I haven't heard anything back and am pretty sure she hasn't got it yet. I am just wondering if it's too much to ask? I just read all the statistics and given that she wants to cuddle and kiss bubs a lot I figured it would be better to play it safe. We won't be spending too much time with her...about a week staying there over Xmas, but still I don't see what the big problem is given that the injection is free. Anyway, do you think it's too mmuch to ask...am I being over protective or not?

Of course you should ask grandparents to get the whooping cough injection! Whooping cough can be fatal to babies and grandparents are no longer vaccinated even if they had it as teenagers. I told my parents they had to have it otherwise I would not let them cuddle dd at all. Even my Nanna had it (dd's great grandmother). I don't think my in-laws have had it yet but they live interstate and haven't met dd yet. They will be getting it before they do meet her though.

Actually, even my sister and our close friends got the injection before meeting dd.

Yes you have every right to ASK them but honestly you cant expect someone to go and get jabbed with a needle if they don't want to. Some people are very anti vax!

I wouldn't go to the lengths to stop my rellies from holding DS if they weren't sick but that's your choice and if it's how you feel tell them that. It's your bub, so not much else anyone can do about it.

Hi there,

I am wondering if it's okay to ask grandparents to get whooping cough injection. I have already asked MIL and the injection is free but she doesn't seem to want to get it. I am not sure why. She came after bubs was born and stayed for a week. Now that Christmas is coming up I asked her again to get it and told her it was free..(actually DP asked her for me). Anyway, I haven't heard anything back and am pretty sure she hasn't got it yet. I am just wondering if it's too much to ask? I just read all the statistics and given that she wants to cuddle and kiss bubs a lot I figured it would be better to play it safe. We won't be spending too much time with her...about a week staying there over Xmas, but still I don't see what the big problem is given that the injection is free. Anyway, do you think it's too mmuch to ask...am I being over protective or not?

You can ask but its up to them if they want to do it.

We asked DHs mum and she was happy to do it, same with my mum.

If you only see your MIL a couple of times a year then possibly she doesnt see the need or just doesnt understand about the vaccine.

I think given you do only see her occasionally I wouldnt be so worried about it, if she lived nearby and was regularly at your place that would be different. The reason its offered to grandparents is with the view that they are in regular contact with their grandchildren.

hmm - you have every right to ask them & they have every right to refuse.

Your baby can get whooping cough from a stranger in the shopping centre - i understand that you want to take all precautions that you can, but it comes across a little paranoid to me that someone MUST have a vaccination before they can be in contact with your baby.

It's not about the money - i wouldnt have the vax either if the only reason was that my sister (for example) had just had a baby.

Maybe I am a little paranoid but it was the only thing I was worried about with dd. And as for getting whooping cough at a shopping centre, it's highly unlikely as I live more than an hour from town and don't go there very often. I don't even do the groceries as DH does them on his way home from work. When I am at the shopping centre, I don't let strangers stick their heads into dd's pram and the only time she comes out is in the parents room for changing or feeding.

Also, luckily all my family had no issue with having the vaccination. The only person who didn't want it was my Nanna but after speaking to her gp, she decided its better safe than sorry.

Maybe I am a little paranoid but it was the only thing I was worried about with dd. And as for getting whooping cough at a shopping centre, it's highly unlikely as I live more than an hour from town and don't go there very often. I don't even do the groceries as DH does them on his way home from work. When I am at the shopping centre, I don't let strangers stick their heads into dd's pram and the only time she comes out is in the parents room for changing or feeding.

Also, luckily all my family had no issue with having the vaccination. The only person who didn't want it was my Nanna but after speaking to her gp, she decided its better safe than sorry.

The shopping centre was just an analagy - she can get it from anywhere was my point & actually the parents room is a germ filled place, she could very well get it from there - just passing strangers on the street is enough.

As with all vax's there is no guarantee either.

Just as you would like her to respect what you want, you need to respect the fact that people may not want to have it done.

The shopping centre was just an analagy - she can get it from anywhere was my point & actually the parents room is a germ filled place, she could very well get it from there - just passing strangers on the street is enough.

As with all vax's there is no guarantee either.

Just as you would like her to respect what you want, you need to respect the fact that she doesnt want to have it done.


I hope you guys can come to some happy arrangement.

I know where you're coming from too. I was lucky enough to have friends and family who were happy to have the vax. It is MamaWishes who has the MIL issue. So hopefully she can reach an agreement with her MIL.

Hi there,

I am wondering if it's okay to ask grandparents to get whooping cough injection. I have already asked MIL and the injection is free but she doesn't seem to want to get it. I am not sure why. She came after bubs was born and stayed for a week. Now that Christmas is coming up I asked her again to get it and told her it was free..(actually DP asked her for me). Anyway, I haven't heard anything back and am pretty sure she hasn't got it yet. I am just wondering if it's too much to ask? I just read all the statistics and given that she wants to cuddle and kiss bubs a lot I figured it would be better to play it safe. We won't be spending too much time with her...about a week staying there over Xmas, but still I don't see what the big problem is given that the injection is free. Anyway, do you think it's too mmuch to ask...am I being over protective or not?

my grandparents suggested they get it too I never had to ask any of my family as my mum had it when she was little and it terrified her that she was going to lose mum so now she is an advocate (so to speak) tells everyone her experience

No, I don't think its ok to ask. There are risks with vaccinating and the whooping cough vax is well known to be the least effective vax. There are risks involved with being alive and getting sick is one of them. The best thing you can do is not put your kid in a bubble. Sure its ok to worry about them and there are thousands of things that could happen to them or illnesses they can catch. I don't think you should ask your grandparents to compromise their own health (as their immune system will be lowered by the vax leaving them open to disease)so that you can feel a smidge safer although you won't really be any better off. I don't mean to sound harsh at all, I totally understand you want to protect them in anyway you can. Its just going too far. You are better off requesting that nobody comes near you or bubs if they have any sign of a cold. Whether it be a runny nose, headache. Anything.
All the best!smile

No, I don't think its ok to ask. There are risks with vaccinating and the whooping cough vax is well known to be the least effective vax. There are risks involved with being alive and getting sick is one of them. The best thing you can do is not put your kid in a bubble. Sure its ok to worry about them and there are thousands of things that could happen to them or illnesses they can catch. I don't think you should ask your grandparents to compromise their own health (as their immune system will be lowered by the vax leaving them open to disease)so that you can feel a smidge safer although you won't really be any better off. I don't mean to sound harsh at all, I totally understand you want to protect them in anyway you can. Its just going too far. You are better off requesting that nobody comes near you or bubs if they have any sign of a cold. Whether it be a runny nose, headache. Anything.
All the best!smile

Totally agree, I mean are you going to ask that all family have - MMR, Chicken Pox etc all the other vax?
I understand that you want to protect your baby (almost every parent does) but what are the actual chances of your grandparents/ parents coming in contact with someone who has it.

I think it's totally fine to ask. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't ask every friend I know that is going to visit my DD to get one, but only those who would be in quite close contact.

I lived with my in-laws whilst DD was a newborn, and because they were in daily contact with her I suggested they get the vaccine too (because DH and I were getting it), and they agreed. My mum would babysit her once a week, and I suggested she get it too, but she refused because she hates needles and she thinks it was silly because she only sees her once a week. I wasn't going to force her to do it, but I thought it was pretty unreasonable of her considering it is a 2 second jab which provides peace of mind for me. How would she feel if she did contract whooping cough and passed it on to my baby? I think she would never forgive herself, and all for the sake of a tiny needle! However she didn't get the vaccine, and she didn't contract whooping cough, and all was fine. I still get a bit annoyed when I think about it though.

So don't stress to much, if she doesn't want to get it you can't make her obviously. But just tell her that if she feels even slightly unwell before a visit then she needs to let you know so you can decide whether to allow her to see your bubba or not.

I think it's totally fine to ask. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't ask every friend I know that is going to visit my DD to get one, but only those who would be in quite close contact.

I lived with my in-laws whilst DD was a newborn, and because they were in daily contact with her I suggested they get the vaccine too (because DH and I were getting it), and they agreed. My mum would babysit her once a week, and I suggested she get it too, but she refused because she hates needles and she thinks it was silly because she only sees her once a week. I wasn't going to force her to do it, but I thought it was pretty unreasonable of her considering it is a 2 second jab which provides peace of mind for me. How would she feel if she did contract whooping cough and passed it on to my baby? I think she would never forgive herself, and all for the sake of a tiny needle! However she didn't get the vaccine, and she didn't contract whooping cough, and all was fine. I still get a bit annoyed when I think about it though.

So don't stress to much, if she doesn't want to get it you can't make her obviously. But just tell her that if she feels even slightly unwell before a visit then she needs to let you know so you can decide whether to allow her to see your bubba or not.

vaccines are more then a 2 second jab. how would you feel if your mum became sick because her immune system was busy dealing with the vaccine and then she passed whooping cough onto your baby anyway as its one of the last effective vaccines? One thing they neglect to tell you with outbreaks is the percentage that are vaccinated that get it. 30% of healthy people who are vaxed will get it anyway and 100% of the community is not healthy, so thats a fair whack of people that the vaccine has little to no effect on.
I know in my personal experience, those who have had whooping cough AND been vaccinated have had much worse cases that have lasted longer then those who have not been vaccinated.

I don't think your mum was being unreasonable at all. Frankly, its much easier for your mum to not have contact with you at the first signs of illness, then it is for a complete stranger who stands next to you at the supermarket. By the time you ask them not to touch or lean over your kid, they have spread it.

i think its perfectly fine to ask for close family to get a whooping cough vax and i think any family that refuse for no good reason are extremely selfish and should mayb go spend time with families that have lost infants to whooping cough... i will be bringing it up on xmas day with the family and asking that they all get it done before our next bub is born. obviously i can not force them to get it done but i dont think any of my family will have an issue, my dad has been on chemo and has beaten leukemia recently and even he is going to be speaking to his docs about wether he will be able to have it as he sees it neccesary too.

personally i would never be able to forgive myself if my baby died from whooping cough because i didnt ask for fear someone "may" get sick or that i may offend or piss someone off for crossing some moral boundary. it may not be 100% but im fairly certain if you spoke to parents that lost their babies due to whooping cough they would agree that it is better to lower the risk if we have the resouces available. atleast then we know we did everything we could to prevent the tragedy.

double

I think it's totally fine to ask. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't ask every friend I know that is going to visit my DD to get one, but only those who would be in quite close contact.

To me that defeats the purpose. Unless you are going to ask every person to be jabbed that is likely to visit and also be willing to keep your child at home for their first few weeks then I think it's unreasonable to expect a select few family members to get the vax.

i think its perfectly fine to ask for close family to get a whooping cough vax and i think any family that refuse for no good reason are extremely selfish and should mayb go spend time with families that have lost infants to whooping cough... i will be bringing it up on xmas day with the family and asking that they all get it done before our next bub is born. obviously i can not force them to get it done but i dont think any of my family will have an issue, my dad has been on chemo and has beaten leukemia recently and even he is going to be speaking to his docs about wether he will be able to have it as he sees it neccesary too.

personally i would never be able to forgive myself if my baby died from whooping cough because i didnt ask for fear someone "may" get sick or that i may offend or piss someone off for crossing some moral boundary. it may not be 100% but im fairly certain if you spoke to parents that lost their babies due to whooping cough they would agree that it is better to lower the risk if we have the resouces available. atleast then we know we did everything we could to prevent the tragedy.

vaccinating isn't doing everything you can. Its one thing you can do that may or may not assist in preventing it. It lulls people into a false sense of security. Basically if you want to do everything you can, you need to stay at home for the first few weeks and not have hoards of visitors. You need to not hand your baby around because its nice for everyone to have a hold. You need to have your baby in a sling, rather then pusher when you go out, to try and prevent people breathing on or touching your baby. You should bf and eat well yourself so that your baby has the best chance of a)not getting it in the first place and B ) fighting it if they do get it. You need to not take them out with even the slightest illness and you need to not expose them to anyone at all that is sick. Sadly a lot of people find doing those things impractical and then they get s.h.i.t.t.y when people don't want to get vaxed so the parents feel a little safer. If you are serious about wanting to protect your kid, you need to do more then ask the odd person that will see your kid to compromise themselves. roll eyes

I think that if someone asks you to get a vax to protect their baby then if your health allows, you should just do it. Yes I know there can be a small chance of complications Yes I know the baby could still get sick Yes I know there are other things you need to do as well to protect the baby but seriously for a new and stressed out mum's peace of mind (and obviously mum and baby are people you are close to and care about) just suck it up. Obviously there are people who are anti vax out there who don't get ANY but that is another discussion entirely.

I personally think the problem people have is that they kind of take offence when asked. And sometimes people just like to be difficult. Well this is what I experienced on one side of our family smile our baby was in special care so midwives insisted.

vaccinating isn't doing everything you can. Its one thing you can do that may or may not assist in preventing it. It lulls people into a false sense of security. Basically if you want to do everything you can, you need to stay at home for the first few weeks and not have hoards of visitors. You need to not hand your baby around because its nice for everyone to have a hold. You need to have your baby in a sling, rather then pusher when you go out, to try and prevent people breathing on or touching your baby. You should bf and eat well yourself so that your baby has the best chance of a)not getting it in the first place and B ) fighting it if they do get it. You need to not take them out with even the slightest illness and you need to not expose them to anyone at all that is sick. Sadly a lot of people find doing those things impractical and then they get s.h.i.t.t.y when people don't want to get vaxed so the parents feel a little safer. If you are serious about wanting to protect your kid, you need to do more then ask the odd person that will see your kid to compromise themselves. roll eyes

i agree completly that its just one factor in trying to prevent whooping cough and mayb i should have added that we intend to follow most of those points u bought up regarding prevention. so when i said i wouldnt be able to forgive myself if something happened to bub it meant those things but the vax aswell smile
i think its important not only for whooping cough too, i dont think we should wrap our babies up in cotton wool but they are sooooo vulnerable and i work in my gyms childcare and the amount of newborns that come in is unreal. i get mum wants to get back to the gym and i plan to do so before the 6 week mark well and truly but bub will not be put in the creche soooo many germs being passed around its dangerous for their underdeveloped immune systems.

i dont think there is any harm in asking specially more for those who see bub on a weekly/daily basis. Its not that hard to contract something like that and if it could of being prevented over a 2 second needle why wouldnt you. im all for not wrapping yah kids in bubble wrap but when there is something offered like that i think we should take full advantage of it. Why wouldnt yah its free and it could potentially help keep your baby from a serious sickness. My mum and one sister got it my other isnt allowed to have it as she can die from it but my gran also got it without even having to ask her. My family spends a lot of time in hospital so its sort of common sence to try and help your kid in everyway. Just saying.