Hi

My girl, 15 weeks old has been learning to self settle the last week. It was heartbreaking for first 5 days as she would cry hysterically. But now she sleeps after crying for about 3-5 minutes.

This is where it gets strange though, before I started 'self settling' bubs would babble to me all the time. Now she doesnt babble at all??

has any one else had this happen? I miss my girl babbling to me - do I need to stop the self settling so she will babble again?

I wouldn't leave a 15 weeker to cry to self settle. So yes I would not leave her to cry anymore.

I'm not sure with babies, but if someone didn't give me comfort and left me to cry hysterically i'm pretty sure i wouldn't talk to them either. Do you think that might be it?

Like the others said... I would stop.

Its my understanding that its emotionally damaging to leave a baby less than 12 months to cry it out. They don't have the reasoning skills to understand that you aren't gone forever.

You could try Tracey Hogs method? (secrets of the baby whisperer). Thats working for us.

Controlled crying should only be used with babies older than 6 months. If you leave a 15 week old baby to cry and don't comfort them, they feel unloved and unsafe. If you want her to learn to self-settle you should start with having a good bed time routine. You can download baby routines from here - Babybliss.
Here's some info on independent sleep, and controlled crying.

I agree she has probably stopped talking because of the self settling. I taught my babies to self settle from day 1 but that was only because an awesome pead gave me some advice.

He told me never leave them to cry but just wrap them up give them a cuddle lay them in their bassinette and sit beside them with your hand on their tummy. i would do that for 5 minutes and then just sit there beside the bed if they were still asleep. after a few days i stopped putting my hand on their tummy but stayed beside the bed and then i didn't have to be in the room anymore. I never let them cry if they were upset i would pick them up and give another cuddle and lay back down when they were happy again. They are now 3 and 15months and both self settle (with the exception of when they are teething) all my friends are jealous of how i could get the girls to self settle all along but i think its because i just followed that pattern. Also i didn't let them fall asleep while feeding if they did i would wake them up and give a cuddle ect and then put them to bed when they were wide awake so they didn't get into any bad habits. But don't get me wrong there was days when i would just cuddle them to sleep cause they are so darn cute

good luck i hope your little princess starts babbling away again soon

thank you so much - I was doing what friends had told me they had done and recommended. Now I feel terrible and am stopping from tomorrow. It didnt feel right, but I didnt know what to do and was following advice.

thanks for the various links - they make great reading

Hi, do what you feel is right with settling bubs, when my (now 6 mnth old) was that age I used to listen to the type of cry and respond (cuddled) if I felt he really needed me. Otherwise I would re settle him (sush him, rub his chest) after 5 mins and then gradually increasing times to 10 mins before settling again. He worked it out pretty quickly. But I also remember when my son stopped babbling to me I thought something had happened as well but I truely think it's just a developmental stage they go through because after a while he was back to his normal talkative self! Good luck smile

thank you so much - I was doing what friends had told me they had done and recommended. Now I feel terrible and am stopping from tomorrow. It didnt feel right, but I didnt know what to do and was following advice.

thanks for the various links - they make great reading

I hope it works out ok smile