Self settling?

Does anyone have any suggestions or advice? My 5 month old has become dependent on a bottle to fall asleep!

She has always fallen asleep while having a bottle before a sleep but until recently it hadn't caused any sleep problems so I didn't stop it (she would usually fall asleep while I gave her a bottle then I would take it from her, lie her down in her cot and even though she would stir and wake up a bit she didn't protest going into the cot & would just drift back off & sleep well). Well... Lately she does not want a bar of it and will wake up when I try to put down. Once she is asleep for the night she is generally fine and will sleep throughout the night but it's such a muck around getting her to go down which is the problem, and during the day is worse she does the same thing but will only stay asleep for 10mins after all the effort to get her to go down (where before she had an hrs sleep in the morning & 2ish hrs round lunchtime)!

I realise that this is because she has a sleep association with her beloved bottle smile and that is the exact reason why it is recommended not to encourage/allow it in the first place, but until now hasn't caused issues so as they say if it ain't broke don't fix it... But now it is becoming a problem and I want to fix it haha!

I need to teach her to self settle in her cot but seems the only way to do this is with some form of controlled crying which I don't like and wish I didn't have to sad but thinking maybe I will have to!!! Any tips on how to do this without traumatising my poor child or maybe just I need to toughen up & do it? Just after some advice from someone objective.

I'm not a fan of controlled crying... there are some other ways to teach your baby to self settle smile

You're right in thinking she has associated the bottle with sleep - its also not the best to feed to sleep as it can cause other problems like ear infections and tooth decay.

We used the baby whisperer method which is in a nutshell...

when you put her to bed have a routine in place like bath, massage, cuddle, story so she becomes accustomed with what happens at bed time.
Then put her to bed awake. if she is happy then leave the room. When she fusses go back in and settle her again and then leave the room. keep going in when she cries to reassure her then leave immediately when she is settled again. You can pick her up, just put her back down as soon as she stops fussing.

When we did this with my DS he was three months old and we had been walking him around to settle him to sleep. he is a massive baby so had to stop that for the sake of my back haha.
First few days I was having to go in a comfort him like 10 times before he went to sleep. after about a week it was 4 or 5. now he just goes to sleep with no fuss when I put him in his cot (unless I have misread the signals). I think I am blessed with an easy baby but this method really has saved my sanity and I hope it helps you smile

We also use a dummy to settle DS which I swear by but I know its not for everyone smile

I'm not a fan of controlled crying... there are some other ways to teach your baby to self settle smile

You're right in thinking she has associated the bottle with sleep - its also not the best to feed to sleep as it can cause other problems like ear infections and tooth decay.

We used the baby whisperer method which is in a nutshell...

when you put her to bed have a routine in place like bath, massage, cuddle, story so she becomes accustomed with what happens at bed time.
Then put her to bed awake. if she is happy then leave the room. When she fusses go back in and settle her again and then leave the room. keep going in when she cries to reassure her then leave immediately when she is settled again. You can pick her up, just put her back down as soon as she stops fussing.

When we did this with my DS he was three months old and we had been walking him around to settle him to sleep. he is a massive baby so had to stop that for the sake of my back haha.
First few days I was having to go in a comfort him like 10 times before he went to sleep. after about a week it was 4 or 5. now he just goes to sleep with no fuss when I put him in his cot (unless I have misread the signals). I think I am blessed with an easy baby but this method really has saved my sanity and I hope it helps you smile

We also use a dummy to settle DS which I swear by but I know its not for everyone smile

I'm not a fan of controlled crying... there are some other ways to teach your baby to self settle smile

You're right in thinking she has associated the bottle with sleep - its also not the best to feed to sleep as it can cause other problems like ear infections and tooth decay.

We used the baby whisperer method which is in a nutshell...

when you put her to bed have a routine in place like bath, massage, cuddle, story so she becomes accustomed with what happens at bed time.
Then put her to bed awake. if she is happy then leave the room. When she fusses go back in and settle her again and then leave the room. keep going in when she cries to reassure her then leave immediately when she is settled again. You can pick her up, just put her back down as soon as she stops fussing.

When we did this with my DS he was three months old and we had been walking him around to settle him to sleep. he is a massive baby so had to stop that for the sake of my back haha.
First few days I was having to go in a comfort him like 10 times before he went to sleep. after about a week it was 4 or 5. now he just goes to sleep with no fuss when I put him in his cot (unless I have misread the signals). I think I am blessed with an easy baby but this method really has saved my sanity and I hope it helps you smile

We also use a dummy to settle DS which I swear by but I know its not for everyone smile

I agree...also whatever method you decide to try, be consistent. give it a few days before deciding to stop. It will be hard to change the habit to start with.
We also use a dummy (mostly) to settle her, which she will spit out or we will remove after a while.
You have to be happy with whatever method you choose, I'm happy with a little grizzling/crying, but not when it becomes a real cry if you know what i mean smile

Ahhh lol, I am new to this and can't figure out how to reply smile hopefully I figured it out.

I have done similar to what u suggested and she just starts crying the second I put her in the cot & I pick her up after stroking patting etc doesn't calm her, the second I pick her up she is fine so I put her down again & she just starts again & is perfectly happy the instant I pick her up the little ragbag, so that's why I'm thinking it will probably take some degree of crying before it works or I'll just be picking her up and putting her down the whole time while she thinks it's so much fun lol

And I am also a fan of the dummy, I have 2 older girls who both had a dummy & had no sleep problems as they had their dummy & self settled by themselves in their cots from early on so had planned to do the same with her but she just would not take one! I tried every kind of dummy there is and persisted but no she didn't want it I even waited days/weeks/months before trying again to see if she would take it but no she doesn't want it. She is displaying a few stubborn traits, maybe because my other 2 were so easy it's only fair that u get one that is giving me a bit of trouble haha

Does anyone have any suggestions or advice? My 5 month old has become dependent on a bottle to fall asleep!

She has always fallen asleep while having a bottle before a sleep but until recently it hadn't caused any sleep problems so I didn't stop it (she would usually fall asleep while I gave her a bottle then I would take it from her, lie her down in her cot and even though she would stir and wake up a bit she didn't protest going into the cot & would just drift back off & sleep well). Well... Lately she does not want a bar of it and will wake up when I try to put down. Once she is asleep for the night she is generally fine and will sleep throughout the night but it's such a muck around getting her to go down which is the problem, and during the day is worse she does the same thing but will only stay asleep for 10mins after all the effort to get her to go down (where before she had an hrs sleep in the morning & 2ish hrs round lunchtime)!

I realise that this is because she has a sleep association with her beloved bottle smile and that is the exact reason why it is recommended not to encourage/allow it in the first place, but until now hasn't caused issues so as they say if it ain't broke don't fix it... But now it is becoming a problem and I want to fix it haha!

I need to teach her to self settle in her cot but seems the only way to do this is with some form of controlled crying which I don't like and wish I didn't have to sad but thinking maybe I will have to!!! Any tips on how to do this without traumatising my poor child or maybe just I need to toughen up & do it? Just after some advice from someone objective.

Hi

There's one thing I'm not sure of - have you stopped letting her have the bottle to go to sleep and now are having dramas or have the dramas happened while you are still offering the bottle?

Either way I dont think its the bottle that is the issue, up till now she's had the bottle and gone to sleep, if you havent changed that routine but now she's not going to sleep then it cant be the bottle.

I'd say she's changing, now she's more alert - possibly going through a developmental leap (ie learning new physical or mental skills) or it might just be time to adjust her day sleeps. It may be that now she is able to stay up for longer before needing a sleep and not needing as much sleep in the day. At around 6 months you can drop to 2 day sleeps - one mid morning and one in the afternoon. So say if she's up at 7am then a sleep at 10am and then again at 2pm.... I think its your routine that needs tweaking.

My DD was premmie so she had kind of learnt how to self settle from the NICU, as you just can't pick bub up when they start crying, unfortunatley. When she came home from hospital I started using 'Save our sleep' and found the way Tizzie Hall explains self settling to be really good.
For the night I use a routine with DD of bath, quiet time which is cuddles with daddy and then a bottle and she is put to bed fully awake. At first she would protest a little, but I would listen to the cries and work out if it was prostests crys or a cry I would need to attend to. DD learnt pretty quickly the routine and she doesn't even make a sound when I put her to bed now, she just puts herself to sleep.

I didn't expect my DD to self settle until she was a year old. I rocked her to sleep every night until then- and I LOVED every minute of it. The time goes so fast and it was lovely just to be with her. I nascially stopped because she was getting a bit heavy and it was hurting my back wink

That said, she didn't wake during the night after about 5 months of age so I wasn't in there rocking 4 times a night or anything.

Hi

There's one thing I'm not sure of - have you stopped letting her have the bottle to go to sleep and now are having dramas or have the dramas happened while you are still offering the bottle?

Either way I dont think its the bottle that is the issue, up till now she's had the bottle and gone to sleep, if you havent changed that routine but now she's not going to sleep then it cant be the bottle.

I'd say she's changing, now she's more alert - possibly going through a developmental leap (ie learning new physical or mental skills) or it might just be time to adjust her day sleeps. It may be that now she is able to stay up for longer before needing a sleep and not needing as much sleep in the day. At around 6 months you can drop to 2 day sleeps - one mid morning and one in the afternoon. So say if she's up at 7am then a sleep at 10am and then again at 2pm.... I think its your routine that needs tweaking.

Yeah the dramas started while still having the bottle. Maybe it is because she is getting older and more alert but the bottle is definitely her crutch for getting to sleep now. She is only having 2 sleeps a day and has been for a while now, wakes around 6:30am first sleep at 9:30 for about an hr then another sleep at 12:30 til 2:30/3:00 then down for bed around 6:30pm and sleeps through not a peep til 6:30am she has been on that routine for prob a month or more and although she has always used the bottle to fall asleep moving her to the cot hasn't been a problem but now she still has the same sleep times but wakes up when moving her to the cot most times and needs me to give her the bottle again to get to sleep or just sleeps for literally 10 mins, same thing for her night time sleep but once I do get her in after a cpl of attempts with the bottle she stays asleep all night.

I didn't expect my DD to self settle until she was a year old. I rocked her to sleep every night until then- and I LOVED every minute of it. The time goes so fast and it was lovely just to be with her. I nascially stopped because she was getting a bit heavy and it was hurting my back wink

That said, she didn't wake during the night after about 5 months of age so I wasn't in there rocking 4 times a night or anything.

Well I'm really lucky in that way that once I finally get her down for the night she is sound asleep for the whole night, and I do enjoy the cuddles with her and if it was just her I had to worry about I would prob just put up with it but I have two other girls & it's not practical to sit cuddling her with a bottle every time she wakes up sad and all that effort to get ten mins of sleep and do it again is not worth it nor is it good for her to rely on the bottle like that. I just want her to be happy enough to settle on her own, it's more fair to all involved and better for her in the long run. But yeah if she stayed asleep when I moved her like she used to then I would be happy to continue it's only that it's become a problem.

Maybe start with small steps... I know from experience that it's not good to put them to sleep and them move them - they wake up wondering where you went and why they're in a different place.

If you put her in the cot and then sat next to it to give her the bottle that might work? And then tackle the bottle issue once that one is sorted.

Maybe start with small steps... I know from experience that it's not good to put them to sleep and them move them - they wake up wondering where you went and why they're in a different place.

If you put her in the cot and then sat next to it to give her the bottle that might work? And then tackle the bottle issue once that one is sorted.

Thankyou, I didn't look at it that way before & thought "no don't give the the bottle while in her cot that's exactly what you are trying to stop" but when I thought about your suggestion I thought it would be a at least be a step closer to what I want, at least she is in the cot when she falls asleep so it won't be a huge change to her when I psych myself up to make her self settle without it! And she is snoozing away now smile yay!!! Might stick with that for a week or 2 then take the plunge be consistent and go in as many times as it takes til she gets the idea!
Thanks everyone x