Why does parenting have to be a competition?

This is exactly why i steer clear of the groups!
Another thing i find is im quite relaxed at parenting, and no offense to anyone, but some of the first time mums make me unsettled with all the things they do and their ideas about how a baby should be raised, and theyre quite opinionated about it.

I've heard from a few mums that these mother clubs are a very negative and competitive place to be! Children grow at their own pace so just allow nature to take place! Some mothers feel so insecure that they have to put it on other mums just to feel good about them selves! its ridiculous! I would like yo go to these mother clubs but i wish it was more of a supportive environment where you can make friends and discuss anything freely rather than putting up a big show!

My Mother's group started when DS was 8 weeks old and we still meet every Thurs (he's now 28 months old). I was lucky. I got a really supportive group and they have been fantastic in good times and bad. Some of my friends have not been so lucky and stopped attending once their group got too competitive. At the same time, there were many moments in the 1st year where there was comparison of what our kids were doing. Firstly it was obvious if someone else's kid was crawling and yours wasn't but also so we could bounce ideas of one another on what works and what doesn't. DS is the youngest... He's 4 months younger than the oldest kid and that's a big difference in the 1st year so I had to keep that in mind all the time. Now that they are much older, they are SO different it's impossible to make comparisons.

My goodness.. this is a STRONG conversation happening within my own family at the moment!! my cousins son started walking at 9 months old (good for the little boy) and I was proud all the same.... But his partner is all "my son is way more advanced than your daughter" and "shes just turned one and is still not walking"... I like to tell her (and other members of the family with children the same age) that "I dont care when my baby walks/crawls or talks. As long as she is healthy and warm and happy, I couldnt care less"... One other cousin whos baby is a month younger than my daughter is also feeling the wrath of this woman and i keep telling her that if the baby is happy then we shouldnt be worrying. Babies will develop when they are ready, it is NOT a competition and who really cares!! It is not an Olympic sport nor should we be rushing for our babies to grow up!!
I say that we should all be proud of what we have achieved with our kids and that no one should ever take that feeling away from us - be it family, coffee groups or friends. We all deserve a pat on the back for all the hard efforts we have put into the upbringing and may we have many more smiles and hugs to come.

xoxo

COOL

Skubala wrote:
I think people start comparing because a) they want to know they are doing a good job and b) they want to know that their baby is normal. Doesn't make it ok to be a judgemental know it all though. I agree, we need to support each other and not comment on another mother's baby or situation.

hi

Gsxrness wrote:
so trueus mums should be sticking together , really who cares when bubs walks crawls eats lolthey will do it when there god dam ready!I have a girlfriend who has a 5 year old and I didnt ask her when her bubs walked lolbut for some reason in mothers groups it is a comparison I do totally agree!

well said with you on this one!

I know! It's crazy!! At the end of the day every child is different. As the mum you know best. I soon learnt to ignore everyones comments and be guided by my son!

Beret1975 wrote:
I know! It's crazy!! At the end of the day every child is different. As the mum you know best. I soon learnt to ignore everyones comments and be guided by my son!

This is definitely the best tactic! Each child is different, just like their parents are different from other parents! I have a mothers group who are pretty chill, so far all is good!