The other day I met a seemingly lovely person. Mum to a 3yo girl and 7yo boy. Later in the evening She was seen to hit her 7yo across the face so hard that he fell to the ground. I spoke to the boy to make sure he was ok he was upset and hurt. He said she has done it before. I then spoke to the boys father who spoke breifly to her then grabbed both kids and left. She got very abusive yelling at me and my dh. I do not know where she lives or her last name. I hope I haven't made it worse for the little boy

That poor little man, no body deserves to be treated like that.

The other day I met a seemingly lovely person. Mum to a 3yo girl and 7yo boy. Later in the evening She was seen to hit her 7yo across the face so hard that he fell to the ground. I spoke to the boy to make sure he was ok he was upset and hurt. He said she has done it before. I then spoke to the boys father who spoke breifly to her then grabbed both kids and left. She got very abusive yelling at me and my dh. I do not know where she lives or her last name. I hope I haven't made it worse for the little boy

Yes i would.. Wouldn't you love just to slap them....
I could't contain myself a few weeks back we were packing our shopping into the car and a mother was yelling abuse at her little boy (looked about 2) saying your F@#%&#g dumb your this and that ill smash you ect i walked straight up to her shaking lol and told her that she had no right to speak to her son that way his just a child well she had soming to say about that got up in my face she went off at me we were having words for about 5 mins as i suspected she was drunk, i bent down to the little boy and said honey your not dumb i wanted to say more but she chucked him in the car and her and her derro partner drove off.. I didn't get the chance to get her number plate but god help her if i do she will never see her son again, dh was so mad at me for saying something blink
But people like this do not deserve kids it makes me so sad..

there have been times I felt like doing that to DS when he is being a pain, but I never would. It is degredation of the person being slapped, and to degrade a young child like that is very wrong.

I would probably be too chicken to say something, but if I thought it was worthy of DOCS attention, I would get as many details as possible (eg number plate if car situation) and report it to police.

Grrr.. seeing other parents do that to their children makes me so mad.

I live in a pretty rough town, and i see plenty of young mums who just hit their kids in the middle of town, and swearing at them. It's not right. If you don't know how to treat your kids properly, or cant deal with their behaviour, don't have kids, or ask for help from somebody. No child should have to be treated that way.

I do however think i would be too afraid to walk up and say something to the mother.. If shes hitting her child like that, whats to say what she may do to me? I would call the police if I saw something very serious.

Yes i would.. Wouldn't you love just to slap them....
I could't contain myself a few weeks back we were packing our shopping into the car and a mother was yelling abuse at her little boy (looked about 2) saying your F@#%&#g dumb your this and that ill smash you ect i walked straight up to her shaking lol and told her that she had no right to speak to her son that way his just a child well she had soming to say about that got up in my face she went off at me we were having words for about 5 mins as i suspected she was drunk, i bent down to the little boy and said honey your not dumb i wanted to say more but she chucked him in the car and her and her derro partner drove off.. I didn't get the chance to get her number plate but god help her if i do she will never see her son again, dh was so mad at me for saying something blink
But people like this do not deserve kids it makes me so sad..

Good on you for saying something I am glad I am not the only one who does say something. These sort of people need to be told. oh they make me so mad.

Unfortunately they were walking and all I know about them is the small country town that they live in. I think DOCS are to busy to chase up on something unless they have full name and address. But it's good to know there are some people out there that would do something to protect the poor kids that get born into abusive homes cos they don't ask for it.

sad thats so horrible, makes you mad doesn't it. I definately do not have the temperament to see that sort of thing happening.

Once I had sort of gotten into a full fight when I had spoken up, of course I'm not a dead head on defending myself as I was a brown belt in martial arts grin Some lady was pulling her child ( i'd say about 4 ) by the hair to her car and once she had gotten there threw him against the door and slapped him saying it was all his fault she couldn't get what she wanted and he is going to starve for the next week etc.

I walked up to her and pulled the child away from here and asked how she would feel if I threw her against the car door and hit her and she was like oh go ahead if you think you have the right to say what I can do to my child stupid bi*** so i did slam her against the car door but that was it as there was no way i was going to let that child see anymore violence sad so I asked if he was alright and if he wanted some help and you could just see it in the poor little guys eyes made me want to cry. Of course she just grabbed him put him in the car called me a bi*** again and drove off. I gave the cops the number plate but enver heard anything of it.

Makes you wonder how people can hurt little kids that bad sad

That is completely horrible...
How can mothers (and fathers) do that to their own flesh and blood? I mean yes children can be a lil annoying at times, but they are so young, and dont realise sometimes. But still that is no excuse to hit a child like that. I have a friend who was raised in a different and strict country to ours, and sometimes i dont agree with her methods of disipline. When me and my daughter are at her house and her children are being punished (Hit with coat hangers etc) i take my daughter outside, so she does not have to see that stuff happening. I wish i had the balls to talk to her about it, but i dont know how to tell someone that their method of parenting is wrong. I always ask the children if they are ok discretly afterwards, but i guess they are just so use to it, they just run off to play... Some people just need to think about how they would like to be treated, and how they felt when they were children and their parents would treat them like that. Eg I was a physically punished child, had things thrown at me, etc... and when i became a mother, i thought about how much hatred i had towards my parents for their method of disipline, and swore i would never treat my child like that. Some people just dont understand i guess... or rather just had the baby for the baby bonus!

With the new (well, not so new now) legislation in NZ you can go straight to the police. They then investigate and find out if it was a one off or if there is anything more serious going on.
My cousin (a 6ft 3 giant of a guy) worked at the local pool and found a toddler, old enough to walk but too young to talk, in the pool alone. He picked the baby up and carried it around on his lifeguarding duties in the hopes that someone would notice that they had lost their baby. About 1/2 an hour later someone did come and claim the baby and smacked them in the head hard enough to knock the baby down. My cousin took the baby back and phoned the police.
I know some people get all up in arms about the legislation that stops people from beating their kids, but I'm not one of them. I think it is fantastic that there is now a way of intervening before things get so serious that children are killed. I don't know how the laws are stiuated in Australia though, and if there is anything that can be done. It is never ok for anyone to hit someone hard enough that they fall down. I find it really upsetting that someone could do that to a child.

I have a friend who was raised in a different and strict country to ours, and sometimes i dont agree with her methods of disipline. When me and my daughter are at her house and her children are being punished (Hit with coat hangers etc) i take my daughter outside, so she does not have to see that stuff happening. I wish i had the balls to talk to her about it, but i dont know how to tell someone that their method of parenting is wrong.

This type of 'parenting' (hitting with a coat hanger) isn't just wrong it's child abuse. It doesn't matter what country they were raised in, in Australia hitting a child with an implement (wooden spoon, jug cord, belt coat hanger etc) is classed as abuse and the person using this type of implement can be charged by police and investigated by DChS/DOCS. I work for DChS and I have investigated people for this type of 'discipline".

I applaud the other people who have said something when they have seen parents excessively smacking/hitting children. Child protection is everyone's responsibility!

It drives me crazy that people who do these things to children of any age, are blessed with a child when there are so many wonderful people out there who would make the most amazing parents, but never get the opportunity. it is disgusting and so wrong in many ways. the world is a very backwards, unfair and cruel place, and we have to do what we can to survive in it and make it a better place for those who can't defend themselves. as a person who grew up with a step dad who did stupid things to me : smack me with a belt wooden spoon etc etc I have grown up ok, but i never forget some of those times when it was really bad, it has scar'd me mentally, but I would never ever do it to my own child. and I hope the rate of child abuse begins to lower due to people like you and me speaking out about it and standing up for the little people.

She seems to be a psycho mom. How can a mother can treat his son like this. I think you have done absolutely right.


Umberto Tassoni's favorite quote: “Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.”

I am not against smacking. Hell, I was smacked as a child and it taught me to repsect my parents. They were the head of the house and put food on the table etc etc. And I was scared of them if I did something wrong...which is really how it should be.

BUT...some of these stories are disgusting! People throwing their children against cars, swearing at them and calling them names, dragging them by the hair! What the hell are these parents thinking? Some people should not be allowed to breed at all. Their should be a test that some people take to see how they handle parenting BEFORE they have kids.

But again, I'm not against various types of punishment...it all depends on the child. I know my 1 1/2 year old doesn't respond to talking or time outs but a quick smack on the hand if he is about to touch something that might hurt him or he might break is enough to get his attention...I hope my daughter is the other kind!!! Haha.

I don't like smacking him and I take no pleasure from it because seeing him cry makes me want to cry. But I do it so he learns right from wrong.

I also think that the other kind of parents are abusive as well! The ones who never discipline their kids. The type of people that just don't care. The type that let their kids run around and break things and bully other kids. These type of people should also be looked at.

i re read this post and what gets me is that someone said they were at someones house when the child was getting hit with a coat hanger and she took her own child out side so not to witness it instead of stepping up and saying thats Not ok.... comeon really.... i would be stepping in and reporting...

It amazes me how people say they would be too scared to walk up to a complete stranger and tell them its not ok!

How the heck do u think that child is feeling being slapped around and sworn at?

The reason people do that is cause they think its ok. well its not!! they do it to their kids, their kids do it to their kids and its never ending.

I too think that the person who saw their friend hitting their child with a coat hanger should do something. If you don't have the "guts" to say something to your friend's face, you don't have to, but I think you should report them to DOCS.

There are too many stories of child abuse these days and it makes me so sad. Just today in the paper there was a story of a man who got 8 years jail for killing his girlfriend's 6 month old daughter. She had a broken collarbone, multiple skull fractures and had evidence of being shaken.

I think it is everyone's responsibility to protect children, they cannot protect themselves sad

My mum always tells me, if im ever in a situation at the supermarket or anything where their is a mother mistreating the childern, to wait till they go to there car, take their number plate down and ring the police.

Im not one to be scared of telling someone to stop, but i no my limits. And some people you just don't cross.
The police are the law though. And you never know, your phone call could save a child from being abused

good people are sometimes unaware that this happens very very often to a large proportion of children. and, unbelievably, no child welfare agancy would do anything about an incident like that. they have bigger fish to fry ie sexual abuse and malnutrition etc and parents who are drug addicts. my MIL is like that and i reported her and went to court against her and the judge didnt believe i knew what i was talking about as i am apparently naive and cannot understand how hard my MIL's life is etc etc. she still has the kids and has not a blemish on her record. she abused my partner and his 3 siblings in the same way. the 2 kids she has now are the same age as mine. she just
had them to get the money so she didnt have to work.

also, from experience, intervening at the time does actually make it worse for the child involved as the parents anger obviously will be taken out on them later. and the more they are criticised as parents the more likely they are to get worse and will no longer care about being nice to the kids in public etc

Mandatory desexing for abusive parents?

Ive read through some of these posts and im truly sadened by how often this happens...

I understand a LIGHT open palm smack on the BUM when the child is being extremely naughty and has not listened to the 3 warnings given. I was smacked on the bum as a kid not often but when it did happen it was for good reason not for stupid stuff like crying or not wanting to eat something ect ect.. After one smack i never did the thing again.

The things ive read about like coat hangers and stuff... Thats horrifying.. i couldnt even think of a reason to do that to my daughter. I will to use the open palm smack on the bum with her once she is old enough to realize what she is doing is wrong after 3 warnings. Hitting a child anywhere else or hard enough to leave a red mark is just disgusting and should def be reported.

I have been reading this and some of these posts have made me want to cry, just imagining what some of these poor little children's lives are like in private, never mind public, makes me feels sick.
I could never harm a child and I couldnt stand by and watch someone be abusive to a child. If I saw someone hurting their child I would call the police and press for them to press charges against the offending 'parent'

As for the person whose friend beats their child with a coat hanger, I'm sorry but by just leaving the room and letting her get on with it you are contributing to the situation. I don't care whether or not it is customary in the country they are from, it is not acceptable and I really think you should consider reporting them.

Ok slightly different response here, (I AM NOT SAYING I AGREE OR CONDONE CHILD ABUSE!!) but I have been on the receiving end of someone having a go at me, I smacked DS because he ran onto the road (in the middle of town, he was lucky the cars saw him) and I don't think people should be having a go at others willy nilly, obviously as serious as these examples have been yes! I would step in but IF it was just a smack I wouldn't because as much as people don't like it, it is a choice parents make to use smacks as punishment

I would step in but IF it was just a smack I wouldn't because as much as people don't like it, it is a choice parents make to use smacks as punishment

Just because the law cannot do anything about smacking due to worse things doesn't mean that it is right to smack a child. Just because parents are afforded that choice also does not necessarily mean it is right. Parents have a lot of choices but that is the luxury of living in this country, it isn't necessarily a moral guideline.

I appreciate the point that parents should not be judged, but surely decisions should not be made based on whether or not the parent would be offended?

Just because the law cannot do anything about smacking due to worse things doesn't mean that it is right to smack a child. Just because parents are afforded that choice also does not necessarily mean it is right. Parents have a lot of choices but that is the luxury of living in this country, it isn't necessarily a moral guideline.

I appreciate the point that parents should not be judged, but surely decisions should not be made based on whether or not the parent would be offended?

So basically what you are saying is I was wrong to smack DS even though it was a matter of life and death what should I have done? Said "no darling you can't do that" and what? scrapped him off the road next time he ran in front of a car? Cheers but no thanks...

I would, however I have yet to seen it happen..

Mimseyismybunny in new zealand if someone saw you smack your child they could go to police, Im not saying that I think a light smack opened handed is wrong, but in our law it is...

I would, however I have yet to seen it happen..

Mimseyismybunny in new zealand if someone saw you smack your child they could go to police, Im not saying that I think a light smack opened handed is wrong, but in our law it is...

I am well aware that it is technically illegal but I also know that no cop is going to arrest me from smacking in a life or death situation, as there is a clause that says something along the lines of "if it is reasonable circumstances, with no more than reasonable force (on a child) then it is up to the discretion of the arresting officer" And even if I got arrested for it I would rather have a slight mark on my record than be scrapping my child off the road because they ran in front of a car...

Hi,
Not necessarily in tuned with the law in places other than NSW, but here, instead of saying something, once you have detected the offence of Common Assault:

61 Common assault prosecuted by indictment

Whosoever assaults any person, although not occasioning actual bodily harm, shall be liable to imprisonment for two years.

You have the right to arrest the person and hold them physically within the bounds of reasonable minimal force to prevent the escape from lawful custody.

33 Wounding or grievous bodily harm with intent

(1) Intent to cause grievous bodily harm
A person who:
(a) wounds any person, or
(cool causes grievous bodily harm to any person,
with intent to cause grievous bodily harm to that or any other person is guilty of an offence.

Maximum penalty: Imprisonment for 25 years.


(2) Intent to resist arrest
A person who:
(a) wounds any person, or
(cool causes grievous bodily harm to any person,
with intent to resist or prevent his or her (or another person’s) lawful arrest or detention is guilty of an offence.

Maximum penalty: Imprisonment for 25 years.

Or:

59 Assault occasioning actual bodily harm

(1) Whosoever assaults any person, and thereby occasions actual bodily harm, shall be liable to imprisonment for five years.
(2) A person is guilty of an offence under this subsection if the person commits an offence under subsection (1) in the company of another person or persons. A person convicted of an offence under this subsection is liable to imprisonment for 7 years.


And your powers for arrest come from:

100 Power of other persons to arrest without warrant

(cf Crimes Act 1900, s 352)

(1) A person (other than a police officer) may, without a warrant, arrest a person if:
(a) the person is in the act of committing an offence under any Act or statutory instrument, or
(cool the person has just committed any such offence, or
(c) the person has committed a serious indictable offence for which the person has not been tried.
(2) A person who arrests another person under this section must, as soon as is reasonably practicable, take the person, and any property found on the person, before an authorised officer to be dealt with according to law.

^^ I wouldn't recommend doing it unless you have fully checked up on the laws in your area and are confident to do so without hesitating. Also, don't do it if they are bigger, stronger and have people around them that are their friends or family..
By no means am I condoning someone to just start tackling people left right and centre.