Ok so my ex won't let me see my kids I have done nothing wrong I was their main care taker as I was a stay at home dad the only time she let me see them was when her and her mum are there but I don't want to see her as she ruined my life now she won't even let me near them because I don't want to see her, she is a disgrace to parents all over, who does she think she is depriving some one of their own children. For all you mothers out there who think they have a right to stop the fathers from seeing their children you are a joke to society but realize my mother done it to me and I have no respect for her I never have and I never will

Ease up tiger! We're here to help each other, not attack one and other. If you do a search of sole custody or shared care on here you'll get lots of suggestions of how Previous Posters(PP) have gotten the custody arrangements that suited them. But the general consensus is to remain calm, appear level headed and be the obvious choice for the better parent. Record everything, etc... Also depends if your in aus on NZ.
Also would take her name down matey. Good luck to you.

hi there.

you sound very angry and upset and that is understandable. as their dad you have rights and SHE has no right to stop you from seeing them.

can you go and see someone at legal aid and get some advice? would you be willing to take her to court to get some sort of custody arrangement made?

good luck, i hope for your sake and your children's sake that you can come to some sort of agreement.

yep I would firstly remove her name. That can land you in bad books every where. Secondly. Can see your reasons for being angry ( note see your reasons NO WAY do i understand and will not even say that I do) but looking into it and keeping it in check will work in your favour. Wish i could say more to support you in this but being angry is not gonna work in your favour. Being level headed and more adult will. In the end she is destroying her later chances with your kids as they will eventually find out and she will be the one that will suffer.

She informed me this morning that as the parent she can make conditions so I put it to her that no1 but her and I is allowed to look after the girls yet when I make a condition it's all a joke I hope she does not continue like this because I have every intention to inform my kids that it wasn't my option to not see them so good luck to her future because I will get my kids as she is obviously an unfit mother for not letting her kids see their father, just have to wait till my lawyers are open so I can find out my rights, it's also funny because her mother is giving her advice and she obviously knows nothing if she thinks she can make conditions without a court order granting her the right to impose conditions but if her lawyer told her that then I think she should see a better lawyer

Don't tell your kids that their mum is keeping them from you. Let the kids be kids keep them out of adult stuff.

Go to your lawyer and make a good case to get custody.

Good Luck hope you get to see your kids.

I can see that you're angry but going to a parenting forum and abusing other people for no reason is never a good idea. What exactly are you hoping to achieve? You should also change your login name - as you never know who might be on here.
There are two sides to every story, and it's hard to understand where you're coming from because we don't know what happened in your relationship and why your ex left you.
Telling your kids that she's a bad mother and that it's her fault could also have a detrimental effect. Kids (in general) love both parents equally, and want to be loved by them. So when you criticise your ex it may seem to your kids that you're actually criticising them.
I think it would be a good idea if you could go to mediation and get some family counselling. It doesn't matter who was at fault. Your relationship didn't work out, but your kids shouldn't have to suffer because of it. I don't think any judge would say that she's an unfit mother just because she won't let you see the kids. A spiteful one perhaps. You're probably not getting much sleep (if you're posting on here so early) and it's hard to be rational when sleep deprived.
If you're in Australia you might find this website helpful - Relationships Australia

I broke up with her, and iv been working night shifts so my sleep has turned around that's y I'm awake so early

Ok so my ex won't let me see my kids I have done nothing wrong I was their main care taker as I was a stay at home dad the only time she let me see them was when her and her mum are there but I don't want to see her as she ruined my life now she won't even let me near them because I don't want to see her, she is a disgrace to parents all over, who does she think she is depriving some one of their own children. For all you mothers out there who think they have a right to stop the fathers from seeing their children you are a joke to society but realize my mother done it to me and I have no respect for her I never have and I never will

If you were the full-time carer then why does she have custody now? Breaking up on its own is not enough to warrant the full-time carer having to surrender custody, with her being allowed to stipulate the terms of visitation.

If all you did was break up, there is no reason why she would legally be allowed to stop you seeing your children. You also say that you have never had respect for the mother of your children?

There are probably a lot of mothers who take children away from their biological fathers in order to protect themselves and their children, so angrily accusing mothers of doing this for no reason is quite unreasonable.

If you were the full-time carer then why does she have custody now? Breaking up on its own is not enough to warrant the full-time carer having to surrender custody, with her being allowed to stipulate the terms of visitation.

If all you did was break up, there is no reason why she would legally be allowed to stop you seeing your children. You also say that you have never had respect for the mother of your children?

There are probably a lot of mothers who take children away from their biological fathers in order to protect themselves and their children, so angrily accusing mothers of doing this for no reason is quite unreasonable.

Has usual Windmill you said it perfect.

Ok so my ex won't let me see my kids I have done nothing wrong I was their main care taker as I was a stay at home dad the only time she let me see them was when her and her mum are there but I don't want to see her as she ruined my life now she won't even let me near them because I don't want to see her, she is a disgrace to parents all over, who does she think she is depriving some one of their own children. For all you mothers out there who think they have a right to stop the fathers from seeing their children you are a joke to society but realize my mother done it to me and I have no respect for her I never have and I never will

If you're quite happy to come on here and call some mothers 'a joke', when you don't have the first clue about anyone elses situation, maybe it's time to address your own issues before throwing this out to the world.
Most people on here are too smart to 'take sides', so if you're looking for someone else to bag her out or make you feel validated then you're probably going to be disappointed.
You have options to look into. You have choices. And you have rights. I understand the need to vent, but verbal abuse of the other party involved and of woman who've had to make some hard decisions in their lives is not ok.
Involving your children in your dispute is only going to allow the world to see what kind of person you are. As a parent it is your job to protect them from harm. This can be a damaging situation if you let it. Forcing your children to feel like they have to choose between you and their mother wont enhance your relationship with them at all.
Get legal advice. Then put aside the anger, for the sake of your kids and do what's right by them. Act like their dad, not like her ex.

i am the mother of these two children he is referring to! i got sent this link from the father! i am on here to put the other side of this story out there as it seems that no one is hearing it!!

Lets just start with that I worked while he stayed at home watching the children!!! There is NO custody arrangements as yet, and i have the children atm because of reason i do not want to put on here!!!

I have not told him he CAN NOT see his children, i have simple said he can not drop around when he feels like it!!! i would have let him see the children weekly if he didnt constantly abuse me via fb and sms with threatening to take the children away from me!!

I love my children and i am looking out for their best interests....he has a right to see his kids, he does, if he acted in a civil matter and stop threatening me then he could!!!

So As a mother what do you do??
Let the father take the kids and wonder for hours if you will ever see them again or try and protect them and wait till it is sorted out via the legal system??

i am the mother of these two children he is referring to! i got sent this link from the father! i am on here to put the other side of this story out there as it seems that no one is hearing it!!

Lets just start with that I worked while he stayed at home watching the children!!! There is NO custody arrangements as yet, and i have the children atm because of reason i do not want to put on here!!!

I have not told him he CAN NOT see his children, i have simple said he can not drop around when he feels like it!!! i would have let him see the children weekly if he didnt constantly abuse me via fb and sms with threatening to take the children away from me!!

I love my children and i am looking out for their best interests.... so dont you all start thinking that i am a bad mother and he has a right to see his kids, he does, if he acted in a civil matter and stop threatening me then he could!!!

so please explain to me seeing as you all know everything about this situation, as a mother what do you do??
Let the father take the kids and wonder for hours if you will ever see them again or try and protect them and wait till it is sorted out via the legal system??

I think if you read all the replies no one is thinking you're a bad mother. Also, we dont know everything, so no one can tell you what to do. I think if anyone was to tell you to give him a break and you honestly feel thats the worst thing to do, you wouldnt listen anyway (what person would?)

You owe none of us an explanation. I hope you both can resolve this for the sake of your children. smile

I love my children and i am looking out for their best interests.... so dont you all start thinking that i am a bad mother and he has a right to see his kids, he does, if he acted in a civil matter and stop threatening me then he could!!!

so please explain to me seeing as you all know everything about this situation, as a mother what do you do??

So first your ex has a go at people for no reason, and now you?
Most people are smart enough to realise there are two sides to every story.
I think both of you should keep your arguments off line and start communicating a bit better.

So first your ex has a go at people for no reason, and now you?
Most people are smart enough to realise there are two sides to every story.
I think both of you should keep your arguments off line and start communicating a bit better.

sorry cruxy, dont mean to have a go but just had enough of being portrayed as a "bad Mother". just looking out for my kids!!

sorry again

i am the mother of these two children he is referring to! i got sent this link from the father! i am on here to put the other side of this story out there as it seems that no one is hearing it!!

Lets just start with that I worked while he stayed at home watching the children!!! There is NO custody arrangements as yet, and i have the children atm because of reason i do not want to put on here!!!

I have not told him he CAN NOT see his children, i have simple said he can not drop around when he feels like it!!! i would have let him see the children weekly if he didnt constantly abuse me via fb and sms with threatening to take the children away from me!!

I love my children and i am looking out for their best interests.... so dont you all start thinking that i am a bad mother and he has a right to see his kids, he does, if he acted in a civil matter and stop threatening me then he could!!!

so please explain to me seeing as you all know everything about this situation, as a mother what do you do??
Let the father take the kids and wonder for hours if you will ever see them again or try and protect them and wait till it is sorted out via the legal system??

Dont worry hun i could have guessed most of what you said before you said it so dont worry, it was kind of obvious by the spiteful, angry attitude of the post roll eyes

Agree that huggies is probably not the best place for this kind of stuff, if you cant resolve it in a mature manner then perhaps you need to go down the mediation road.

Good luck

If there are no court orders in place and she has the children, legally she is doing nothing wrong. You need to know your rights a little better...

the thing is he obviously sent you (the mother) the link before he actually read the replies, he was obviously thinking that everyone was going to be on his side but from the comments people are just kinda like what the heck due don't come on here ranting and basically saying mothers are a joke. kinda backfired on him a bit I think.

it dosnt sound like there having a go at anyone else but each other. Their just venting so let them vent they know what they need to do going through courts ect ect. dont take everything so personally that people post on here it is a place to vent to ay.