Single mum and struggling with son's father

Hi All,

I have a nine week old son and I am struggling to get the father to be more actively involved with him. The father says he wants to spend time with our son, however he never seems to make the effort to call me and see if he can have him for the day or when I call him to see if he wants to look after him for the day, he's always to busy.
He gets very grumpy with me and doesnt talk to me much because he doesnt want to get into a fight (which, for some reason, he apparently thinks is going to happen every time we talk).
Anyway, does anyone else have the same issues?
Advice?
Replies from mums and dads are welcome smile

My guess is he might be too overwhelmed to look after bub on his own? Was he at the birth?
Maybe suggest meeting up at a park with him, even if he brings along his mum or dad or another family member, and just have a bit of time with them on neutral territory if you know what I mean?
You can really only do so much to get him involved, the ball is in his court really. If I were you I'd seek legal aid to get things formalised, such as custody arrangements.
Sorry I'm not a great help! Good Luck!

I have a feeling I am going to be in the same position (last I heard from baby's dad was 2 months ago about meeting up to discuss any custody he would like to make an arrangement and he said he would get back to me with a time but nope haven't heard a thing) so let me know if you find a way.

At the end of the day if he doesnt want to make the effort there isnt really anything you can do, despite how unfair it seems to the baby.

I'm not in the same situation as you... but going by my dh and the other dads that I know... those first baby months are pretty daunting so I would agree with the pp that says he might be a bit scared of taking him on his own. Maybe he would be more comfortable with a woman there, and if it can't be you perhaps his own mother or someone you know?

My dh only really got active in dds care once she was a bit older and more active, and when she could respond to his interactions with smiling & laughing. He felt a bit like he was going to break her when she was newborn.

Hope things get easier for you! You're being a great mum by trying to keep him involved. smile