My Huby is really anoying me

LOL!!! let me just say "you are not being picky"...
my partner pisses me off too. i am beginning to see that they are all the same. they are genderly engineered to piss us off!
i was going to post a rant this morning, but i will just add to yours...
over the weekend my dp went camping with the boys from his work. this is totally fine with me. but dd had a HUGE problem with daddy not being home & was a total bitch all weekend. when he did come home, he had a hangover & was tired, so had a shower & went to bed... that was not good. she lost the plot again & i was mega pissed off. when i have a hangover & i am tired, i don't have the luxuary of sleeping all day!
anyway, thenyesterday he was meant to be having an rdo, as he hasn't had one in mths. at 10am, his boss calls & off he goes to work. but, i hadn't washed his clothes because i thought i had an extra day to do it & he was pissed off. then i washed his clothes last night & forgot to put them out because our oven decided to *** itself & i was busy getting dinner ready... so this morning when i wokeup i realised his clothes were in the machine still! did he hit the roof! it was as simple as putting them in the drier, but no, he had to go on about it. i don't care about him. i make sure i've got clean work clothes, but i couldn't give a *** about his. bla,bla,bla! i told him if he wasn't happy with the way i was taking care of his washing, then he should do it himself. apprantly, he's quiet capable of doing is own washing & life didn't start when he met me... i told him that obviously his ability to look after himself stopped when he met me as he hasn't done it for 8yrs... according to himi choose to look after him!!! bullshit!!! why the hell would i choose???
so, that's my rant about hubby! he also has to be reminded to brush his teeth (which pisses him off) & he always has his plumbers crack out. he could do with losing about 10kg as well, but i wouldn't dare tell him that, as i still have baby weight to loose (after 2yrs)...
i just don't get why they are the way they are, but i often blame their mothers!!! he also was talking to a friends hubby about trading us in for a younger model... i told him to go for his life. i said i'd love to see him hook a 20yr old!!! classic!!! he was pissed off at me coz i said that, but does he seriously think that a 20yr old would be interested in a 30yr old plumber, who drinks & smokes & doesn't do anything, except go to work... i'd like to see a 20yr old take on a 30yr old man who needs his clothes washed, dried & folded. who needs his lunch packed & dinner cooked everynight. good luck with that!!! (i sound like such a bitch, but it cracks me up, reminds me of hall pass).
i would just like to say, maybe you should look at getting some help for bubs sleeping!!! try tresilien? ask your baby nurse? it might help to ask for help...

Oh I hear ya!! There are some days that I could poke Hubby in the eye, he annoys me so much. But I never used to say anything, cause Hubby doesn't take critisim well. Its like talking to a little boy, he gets all sulky and defensive. We have a new born daughter, and the first month was amazing, because he took 6 weeks off work to be with us, and he was a great help.

But the 6 weeks eventually came to an end and he went back to work. So I was left to be the full time carer. And over the weeks, months, I just became more and more resentful. As my role as his wife/ suzi home-maker had not changed, but now I was also looking after a baby. And its hard work, even when we have a good little bub who never crys and sleeps 10 hrs a night. ( Im so sorry to read about your bub's sleeping) You must be exhausted.)

Eventually on the verge of wanting to stay with friends for a few days, cause I was so fed up, one of my friends actually suggested I ( much to my protest) try talking to him. And even if he had a little tantrum, persist till we worked it out. Hubby explained that this was a big life change for him too, and while he was stoked to have a baby, the impact it had on his life, especially now he was back at work was huge. He was struggling with the stress of his job, and because I was also stressed from being at home, he no longer wanted to tell me about his day. So he was bottling up too. Also with being back at work, he was missing Bub, being with her, sharing in her developments and in a way resented me for being home with her. (Cause when your a stay at home Mum, lifes easy. Sleeping and watching tv all day, right? Not!)

Long story short, we needed to be strong and okay with each other, in order to get thru this. And that meant making it about us on this occasion, not bub. So some little things we do now, I email pics of Bub to Hubby at work with updates, so he's not missing out, and we make time even if its 15mins, while we bath Bub for both of us to debrief about our day. My biggest stress was trying to be the awesome wifey and super mum. And usually around 6pm when Hubby is on his way home, it falls apart cause something will happen with bub. So now I enlisted the help of a slow cooker most days, instead of going through my masterchef magazines every night, trying to make something extravagant. Hubby now washes up every night, and life is good.

Try and get to the bottom of why your Hubby is acting like this? Cause it might be something that with little changes can be fixed. And if its something that won't change, try maybe picking your battles. You both need all your energy and sanity for this baby. Is it worth a fight over where he eats breaky?

Good Luck!

Oh my goodness.....many of the thing you have mentioned has happened to me especially the bloody snoring...we no longer sleep in same bed as its got sooo bloody bad. he too is overweight and refuses to do anything about it or get his snoring sorted.!Anyway......feeling for you and your certainly not alone!!!! im sure alot of all of this is down to the little issues you are having with the sleep situation. in the beg i was so tired...every single time he uttered a word i would have loved to have ripped his head off!! infact he still annoys me lol. anyway i say hang in there...im pretty sure this will resolve in time. they say that having a baby and in the first year...it dramatically changes your relationship. it wont last forever. we going thru soo many changes. stay strong darlingxx

Love your post!!!!!!!!

Oh I hear ya!! There are some days that I could poke Hubby in the eye, he annoys me so much. But I never used to say anything, cause Hubby doesn't take critisim well. Its like talking to a little boy, he gets all sulky and defensive. We have a new born daughter, and the first month was amazing, because he took 6 weeks off work to be with us, and he was a great help.

But the 6 weeks eventually came to an end and he went back to work. So I was left to be the full time carer. And over the weeks, months, I just became more and more resentful. As my role as his wife/ suzi home-maker had not changed, but now I was also looking after a baby. And its hard work, even when we have a good little bub who never crys and sleeps 10 hrs a night. ( Im so sorry to read about your bub's sleeping) You must be exhausted.)

Eventually on the verge of wanting to stay with friends for a few days, cause I was so fed up, one of my friends actually suggested I ( much to my protest) try talking to him. And even if he had a little tantrum, persist till we worked it out. Hubby explained that this was a big life change for him too, and while he was stoked to have a baby, the impact it had on his life, especially now he was back at work was huge. He was struggling with the stress of his job, and because I was also stressed from being at home, he no longer wanted to tell me about his day. So he was bottling up too. Also with being back at work, he was missing Bub, being with her, sharing in her developments and in a way resented me for being home with her. (Cause when your a stay at home Mum, lifes easy. Sleeping and watching tv all day, right? Not!)

Long story short, we needed to be strong and okay with each other, in order to get thru this. And that meant making it about us on this occasion, not bub. So some little things we do now, I email pics of Bub to Hubby at work with updates, so he's not missing out, and we make time even if its 15mins, while we bath Bub for both of us to debrief about our day. My biggest stress was trying to be the awesome wifey and super mum. And usually around 6pm when Hubby is on his way home, it falls apart cause something will happen with bub. So now I enlisted the help of a slow cooker most days, instead of going through my masterchef magazines every night, trying to make something extravagant. Hubby now washes up every night, and life is good.

Try and get to the bottom of why your Hubby is acting like this? Cause it might be something that with little changes can be fixed. And if its something that won't change, try maybe picking your battles. You both need all your energy and sanity for this baby. Is it worth a fight over where he eats breaky?

Good Luck!

I think they just do that, like someone else said they are jealous of you staying home, I had that talk with my DH a few days after he went back to work with DD1, it was very hard on him, as he loves being a dad.

As for not doing things, I wish when he has a shower to put his clothes in the wash without being asked, as I dont wash things of his from the floor and he knows this, I will do the kids but they are little. Put the wettbix away after breakfast without being asked, but then we are both different and I bug him aswell

they are genderly engineered to piss us off!

Just like we are to them.. wink

Is this your first bub ?

my husband and I never fought until we had our first child. The little things that never bothered you before for some reason really get under your skin.

My husband had a shoulder reconstruction 2 weeks after our first was born and was home for 3 months and could hardly do anything except sit around the house. It drove me nuts, was much better when he went back to work.

You have to remember that the whole family unit has changed and it does and will take time to adjust to it all.

Things do get better once bub settles more and you are able to get more sleep.

Good luck! there is a light at the end of the tunnel!!

LOL!!! let me just say "you are not being picky"...
my partner pisses me off too. i am beginning to see that they are all the same. they are genderly engineered to piss us off!
i was going to post a rant this morning, but i will just add to yours...
over the weekend my dp went camping with the boys from his work. this is totally fine with me. but dd had a HUGE problem with daddy not being home & was a total bitch all weekend. when he did come home, he had a hangover & was tired, so had a shower & went to bed... that was not good. she lost the plot again & i was mega pissed off. when i have a hangover & i am tired, i don't have the luxuary of sleeping all day!
anyway, thenyesterday he was meant to be having an rdo, as he hasn't had one in mths. at 10am, his boss calls & off he goes to work. but, i hadn't washed his clothes because i thought i had an extra day to do it & he was pissed off. then i washed his clothes last night & forgot to put them out because our oven decided to *** itself & i was busy getting dinner ready... so this morning when i wokeup i realised his clothes were in the machine still! did he hit the roof! it was as simple as putting them in the drier, but no, he had to go on about it. i don't care about him. i make sure i've got clean work clothes, but i couldn't give a *** about his. bla,bla,bla! i told him if he wasn't happy with the way i was taking care of his washing, then he should do it himself. apprantly, he's quiet capable of doing is own washing & life didn't start when he met me... i told him that obviously his ability to look after himself stopped when he met me as he hasn't done it for 8yrs... according to himi choose to look after him!!! bullshit!!! why the hell would i choose???
so, that's my rant about hubby! he also has to be reminded to brush his teeth (which pisses him off) & he always has his plumbers crack out. he could do with losing about 10kg as well, but i wouldn't dare tell him that, as i still have baby weight to loose (after 2yrs)...
i just don't get why they are the way they are, but i often blame their mothers!!! he also was talking to a friends hubby about trading us in for a younger model... i told him to go for his life. i said i'd love to see him hook a 20yr old!!! classic!!! he was pissed off at me coz i said that, but does he seriously think that a 20yr old would be interested in a 30yr old plumber, who drinks & smokes & doesn't do anything, except go to work... i'd like to see a 20yr old take on a 30yr old man who needs his clothes washed, dried & folded. who needs his lunch packed & dinner cooked everynight. good luck with that!!! (i sound like such a bitch, but it cracks me up, reminds me of hall pass).
i would just like to say, maybe you should look at getting some help for bubs sleeping!!! try tresilien? ask your baby nurse? it might help to ask for help...

So I'm not the only one that lives with this kinda bull**** I just posted a big vent lol

haha this is gold...seems we all have anoying traits I guess , this is my first child but things are soooooooo much better now......life is not stressfull anymore..she has teeth now and thats why I think she wouldnt settle..
I told him how I felt , well well well...he has been working out and making an effort to wear clothes and get this brush his teeth
I still have to prompt him to brush..and the dentist needs to do fillings but overall he is much better..
I put the problems on a scale of one to ten and I realise that there not that big the little things he does...eating his breaky at the kitchen bench..lol..
we have such a small kitchen but Really i am letting it slide
good advice from everyone
he is back at work more now so we are getting some space makes me appreciate when I do get to spend time with him
ah life is joyfull lol ..think i may have had some pmt too!@

for starters with buba, my baby is the same age and can be very hard to settle often doesnt sleep during the day. you could try this routeen we use this for our son hes gone from being a real bumhole to get to sleep to being low maintanence. a reason your baby is restless could be colic needs too be burped more some babies find it hard to bring up wind and scream the house down making life hard for all. could try some gripe water or taking to the doctor and check she has no allergies that could be giving her a sore tummy ?

if shes crying try stick her on her tummy and see if she soothes a little
if not she may be ready for solids and shes not full enough going to sleep

if shes not in her own room already you could try that our son slept better in his own room


lil man has his routeen
- solids at 5.30
- get him into a bath around 6pm
- play with him till 6.30 then swaddle him
- lay him down in his anti roll wedge put on the radio and close the door with the radio on and his monitor.

it took 2-3 weeks to get him to be in a routeen theres a few ideas in that respect.

As for the dp you need to come to an arrangement with him even if its an ultimatum. Its no good you both being exhauted. either take turns doing the night. I currently have a flu and dp has work to do so im doing what i can but hes going to have to do the rest and he knows that.

io hope things work out and theres NO shame in asking others for help even if they come into your house and mind buba so you can get some shut eye chin up we are all human ( zombie humans sometimes ) all the best and good luck

Its so normal to get frustrated with each other without having kids but having kids brings new frustrations. I know I get frustrated at my dp and he gets frustrated at me. But we both know when we are snappy with each other its because theres an underlying issue and we are just taking frustrations out where we shouldnt. So in the end we have some words then get over it