Mum's uncomfortable to breastfeed

I am 6 weeks off having my 1st child.
I have known for a long time (since I was little) that I get uncomfortable around being naked or semi naked around almost anything- including myself. So it should come as no surprise that I wont be breastfeeding.

However, since my partner and I have announced we are having a baby, his family (including his father) have persistantly told me that I need to breastfeed. I have explained to them that I dont like that idea and that I will express into a bottle and feed her that way- as much effort as it is, I am willing to do that.
No matter what i say to them, to reassure them that the baby will get the breast milk, just not from my breasts, they will not stop harrassing me about it. I feel as though I dont owe them an explination, but they seem to not pay any attention to me.

Being a young mum to be (19); I do voice my opinion and is willing to tell them where to go, but for the sake my of fiance, i wont do that to him.

We have done everthing right for this child. She was planned, we bought a house, have everything set up, we have enough money to support her. And yet his family go on about me not breastfeeding..

What can i do or tell them that will make them stop. Its gets me down so much, I'm scared of going into a despression when it is meant to be a happy time. Labour doesnt scare me- the thought of them telling me how to raise the baby does...

Hi!

Firstly, congrats on your pregnancy, such exciting times are ahead for you!

Now, without trying to sound judgmental, can I suggest that you give breastfeeding a try first before you dismiss it? You can buy some great modesty covers that give you complete coverage while feeding, so you don't feel like you have your boobs out on display! Coming from someone who had to express all feeds for her baby for 6 months, this is not an enjoyable or easy task by any means. It is sooooo time consuming pumping all the time, and if I could have fed straight from the breast it would have made my life so much easier, and anything that makes your life easier in those first few months is a god send.

Having said that, if you decide that breastfeeding is not for you, then you don't have to justify this to anyone. When my DD was 7 months and I decided I could not face another day on that stupid breast pump, I was very surprised to find the judgment I received from my MIL - I got a lot of questions from her as to why I was stopping, and didn't I know that "the baby needs breast milk for her immunity" - oh gee thanks, as if I didn't feel guilty enough! I ended up having to say to her that yes I was aware, and I would appreciate her support rather than condemnation as I was already feelin bad enough as it was. She apologized and never said another word.

Once you have made your decision then that should be enough for your family - your baby, your choices.

Good luck with everything!

Stick to your guns... Is your fiancee supportive? At the end of the day you may not be able to express or breastfeed due to lack of supply. I struggled to get enough milk for even one feed before I finally gave up at 8 months. As long as you are loving and affectionate to your bub. Get your fiancee to tell them that their nagging is stressing you out which could make you lose your supply once the baby is born. It really isn't fair they are doing this to you. Saying that you may find you want to try and love doing it at home. I wanted to breastfeed at home but use bottle when out, ( I felt I wanted bub to be able to take both in case I got sick). This was before she was born, then when I had her I loved breastfeeding, was so upset I had supply problems. Not saying this will happen to you, but do keep an open mind. My friend hated breastfeeding and stopped after a month and went on to formula (she wanted to breasfeed for a year before the birth). She has a beautiful healthy little girl. Good Luck...Don't let them spoil a beautiful time

Thanks!

Being as this is my first child, I have no idea of whats to come or what to expect and from what a lot of people have said- that pumping is hard and time consuming, I might just end up giving breast feeding a try anyway.... It will kill me, but I guess with everything.. practice and patience.

Talking any sence into my MIL is like talking to a brick wall and really I would rather talk to a brick wall!

To give you an idea, depending on your supply of course I would expess with an electric pump for 40mins to get 25mls... My friend would do for 1hr 10mins to express a litre (she had great supply) I could feed same amount in 10mins and she said she could feed in 20mins..... So yes is definitely less time consuming. But saying that if you are more comfortable doing it you may prefer it. That is why I said try and keep an open mind. Hormones do change you once bub is born, and things you never thought you would feel comfortable with are fine, and vice versa. See how you go. Lets you in-laws know you will try... it may keep them off your back for these last few weeks

My finace is really supportive.. He knows about how uncomfortable i feel about breastfeeding and has said, right from when we found out we were having a baby, that he didnt care about how i fed baby, as long as she grows, is healthy and that she was happy'.

And i really hope that everything about being a mum comes to you with a change of hormones once baby is born!
Whats the point of them pushing breastfeeding when they should really give me advice on how much she should be eating etc.
I have no clue about how much to feed them or if 25mls would be enough to keep them going....
(thats another concern I have, not knowing what I'm doing once she is here!)

Congratulations on your up and coming birth.

The strange thing about having a baby is that all old rules and thoughts are thrown out the window.

Wait until your baby is born you may just feel like breastfeeing when you get caught up in the moment of birth.

Many women are unable to breastfeed due to many reasons, as long as your baby is being fed breast or bottle are both good.

Also once you have your baby nobody will be able to tell you what to do with them, they give you the strenght to voice your opinion as you realise you as the parents want only the very best for your baby,and only the parents know the answer to that.

Good luck

PS Labours a breeeeeze once you see there little face smile

Dont worry about how much bottle to feed your baby it will be on the packaging, you will soon learn if your baby is still hungry and might need more, also baby will throw up there milk if they have had to much. The most important part of feeding is to bring up babies wind by gently rubbing their back.

Most newborns would take between 50-100mls a feed. But bub will drink as much as it needs. When I expressed I offered 75mls. I froze breastmilk in 25mls tubs. If she needed more then I would offer more. You will learn very quickly how much they want. I always had a tin of formula standing by in case I didn't have enough milk for a feed and shops were closed..... It has amounts on tins for recommended amount. DD was well below, but healthy. Most of being a mum is common sense, and you seem to have loads of that. Being willing to ask and being open minded is a big boon..... The ladies on here were a life saver to me in my first 3 months.. just being able to chat and ask questions, and I'm a nurse. You will be a wonderful mum, regardless on how you feed bub. Don't stress, you will be amazed on how much comes naturally

It doesnt matter whether you express, breastfeed or use formula its your business and your decision! Good Luck smile

Hi,
I have a friend you felt much like you when she was pregnant. She didnt feel comfortable with her breasts being naked and didnt like the thought of a baby sucking them. her husband was supportive of her as he just wanted her to be happy and her inlaws minded their own business. (her mother however was not very happy) but she was adamant on bottle feeding and even had formula and bottles bought by 20 weeks!!

When her baby was born she went straight on the bottle (which is very sad as colostrum is so important for a babies immune system). Ever since birth the baby has had problems with going from one formula to the next, constipation, ear infections, and broncolitis they even had a near sids experience......all of which are much less likely to happen in breastfed babies. I know that all babies can get sick including breastfed babies but it is soooo important for babies to have the balanced natural milk that is made perfectly for them.

I now wish i had tried to encourage her to breast feed and she now seriously regrets not trying. She is the most unselfish person however now feels that her decision not to breastfeed over her not being 'comfortable' was put before the health and needs of her baby that she loves with all her heart and would do anything for.

I just wanted to share her story with you. Best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy smile

I have a nearly 4 month old, and i was like you. I dreaded giving birth only because it meant internal examinations and who knows how many people coming and looking at you whilst you are naked or near naked. But at the time you don't care anymore, you don't really have much of a choice.
With regards to breastfeeding, i bought a breastfeeding cover similar to these (http://babybutton.com.au/shop/product-category/...) and found that you can be very discreet. It can be a bit of a challenge sometimes with a wriggly baby, but it means that you can feed the baby with nobody seeing anything you don't want them too.
Saying that, it is totally your choice. My DD refuses frozen breast milk, will take formula over the frozen stuff, have heard that it can have a funny taste? But she will drink fresh from a bottle. Do what you are comfortable with. At the end of the day, you are the one who has to feed her all day every day, so if you aren't comfortable breast feeding, then you are going to be miserable if you do what you don't want to. Stick to your guns smile

Just wanted to say, you can breastfeed without exposing yourself. I use to go into the bedroom and shut the door or if out, go to the baby rooms and shut the curtain. I've even fed my babies sitting on the floor in the change room at Target!
I couldn't express hardly any milk, so that wasn't an option for me, there was never any left over. Babies are excellent at getting exactly the amount they need from your breasts.
Your in laws are probably just trying to help you do what they think is best. I'm sure they have your best interests at heart. They will want to be involved with your baby and will tell you what to do, that's what in laws, and often parents do. My advice would be to just listen to them and then do what you think is right anyway. No point arguing over it. At the end of the day, you're the mother and you'll be the one doing it, not them.