Hi! Does anyone have any tips for dealing with an overbearing mother-in-law that criticises, provides unwanted opinions and generally takes things upon herself without asking?? I'm desperate! Thx
Mother In Law
- philly71
- QLD, Australia
- Total posts: 1
- Olive*Oyl
- SA, Australia
- Total posts: 1133
Yep: change the locks wink
- Socially_Awkward
- New Zealand
- Total posts: 1018
Well i've considered shooting mine unsure
Honestly there is no way to deal with them, I've given mine the firm word, I've tried dodging her but man she has her heels dug in. The only thing I can suggest is to stand your ground in all aspects and never let her get to you. At the same time, try not to bag her out to your DP or he'll get defensive and it makes such bad waves in the relationship. She'd love it way too much if she knew she was responsible for making you break up don't give her the satisfaction.
Sorry if that's not much help, but you're not alone smile
Honestly there is no way to deal with them, I've given mine the firm word, I've tried dodging her but man she has her heels dug in. The only thing I can suggest is to stand your ground in all aspects and never let her get to you. At the same time, try not to bag her out to your DP or he'll get defensive and it makes such bad waves in the relationship. She'd love it way too much if she knew she was responsible for making you break up don't give her the satisfaction.
Sorry if that's not much help, but you're not alone smile
- darwin mummy
- NT, Australia
- Total posts: 38
Im having sooooo much trouble with mine as well:(
Its been a long 10 years of her trying to cause fights and then dh and fighting because of her!!! All I can say is try not to bag her out with dh make sure he see's your side and tell him your reasons. You need him on your side !!! It took dh years to come on my side because he would get his back up when i went off about his mother!! She will show her true colors and hopefully dh will see and you will come out of smelling like a rose.
My mil hates me and blames me for everything she has been separated from dh dads for 26 years but still rings him asking for money or just to say she hates him!! then there are the letters OMG
If she cant get her way she gets nasty, then crys then acts like nothing happen. *** really hit the fan when we just went on hoildays and before we went I sat dh down and told him my concerns and that I didnt think it was a good idea she had our children by herself because she not in a good mental place at the moment ( or ever) he agreed. and omg she went off tap at me, I was nice and the poison coming out of her mouth. anyway hubby couldnt believe it and told her I was his wife and he agreed. YAYAYAY
That was a month ago and we have had none stop abusive phonecalls, hangups and nasty letter, and now dh doesnt ever want to see her AGAIN !!!
Sory about the rant mil just get me going !! good luck
Its been a long 10 years of her trying to cause fights and then dh and fighting because of her!!! All I can say is try not to bag her out with dh make sure he see's your side and tell him your reasons. You need him on your side !!! It took dh years to come on my side because he would get his back up when i went off about his mother!! She will show her true colors and hopefully dh will see and you will come out of smelling like a rose.
My mil hates me and blames me for everything she has been separated from dh dads for 26 years but still rings him asking for money or just to say she hates him!! then there are the letters OMG
If she cant get her way she gets nasty, then crys then acts like nothing happen. *** really hit the fan when we just went on hoildays and before we went I sat dh down and told him my concerns and that I didnt think it was a good idea she had our children by herself because she not in a good mental place at the moment ( or ever) he agreed. and omg she went off tap at me, I was nice and the poison coming out of her mouth. anyway hubby couldnt believe it and told her I was his wife and he agreed. YAYAYAY
That was a month ago and we have had none stop abusive phonecalls, hangups and nasty letter, and now dh doesnt ever want to see her AGAIN !!!
Sory about the rant mil just get me going !! good luck
- mum of 5 blessings /3 are angels
- NSW, Australia
- Total posts: 2511
i really got along with mine till she took upon herself
i don't like mine either she rings and abuses me 2 wks after my son was born haven't spoke her since.my son is 9 wks now
she hasn't even seen him i choose not be around people who abuses me & if she like that round me disrespectful not something i want my son to witness.
after her abusive ranting on she expected me to drive to see her at my bf place,while i was tired and after my son was seen by a doctor the same day vomiting in heat (not likely going near her till i get a apology)
but i get the feeling she loves it this way as she has her son back somewhat without contact with me
however my father in law is terrific i call him all the time give him updates every wk. send photos etc of his grandson casey who has part of his name
sorry my raving on doesn't help you,
wishing you all the best with you mother in law
i don't like mine either she rings and abuses me 2 wks after my son was born haven't spoke her since.my son is 9 wks now
she hasn't even seen him i choose not be around people who abuses me & if she like that round me disrespectful not something i want my son to witness.
after her abusive ranting on she expected me to drive to see her at my bf place,while i was tired and after my son was seen by a doctor the same day vomiting in heat (not likely going near her till i get a apology)
but i get the feeling she loves it this way as she has her son back somewhat without contact with me
however my father in law is terrific i call him all the time give him updates every wk. send photos etc of his grandson casey who has part of his name
sorry my raving on doesn't help you,
wishing you all the best with you mother in law
- Former Member
- -
buy a huge dog.
- Former Member
- -
Yep: change the locks wink
Hahaha good one! laugh
- Former Member
- -
Just do what I do - nod and smile, nod and smile smile
- Springbabies0709
- ACT, Australia
- Total posts: 2279
Mine the opposite i wish mine would be more involved in things!! Iv asked her if she could pick up DS some times as i have to catch so many buses etc but it honestly feels more like a chore to her then something she should enjoy! We have had some serious issues in the past but im trying to make more of an effort towards her and i hope she could atleast do the same i think our relationship is very up and down. I know she is a wonderful grandmother. I just wish sometimes she would make more of an efforts towards me etc...
- Springbabies0709
- ACT, Australia
- Total posts: 2279
Just do what I do - nod and smile, nod and smile smile
And just dont take anything that she says to heart at all..
- Ebz_2487
- NSW, Australia
- Total posts: 104
I'm trying something new and I hope that this doesn't offend anyone but I'm at a loss as to what to do about my mother in law
I have changed my way of thinking about her and try to see her as a dementia patient
I.e they can't be held responsible for there hurtful actions and words because of the mental issue
This doesn't excuse her it just helps me deal with it with out it doing my head in
I have also stopped contact of any kind with her and let it be known I'm not interested in anything
I have changed my way of thinking about her and try to see her as a dementia patient
I.e they can't be held responsible for there hurtful actions and words because of the mental issue
This doesn't excuse her it just helps me deal with it with out it doing my head in
I have also stopped contact of any kind with her and let it be known I'm not interested in anything