some one i know

Not sure if should put this in this space or some where else. I know someone who is in a abusive relationship that has two kids one 5 and one almost 10 months. The father of the kids is a abusive drunk more so towards their mum then the kids. Just yesterday he smashed her head into the wall and has bruises up her arm from him grabbing her. He left the following morning saying his getting help ( not the first time his said that) his actually gone to HER friends house and they have taken him in texting her to stop polluting his head his going to get help for his family ect ect making it out that its all her fault that him smashing her head into the wall is all her fault. Ive only known her for about a year now and have heard some horror stories about what his done with her and yet she still has taken him back everytime.

Thanks all good if she wants to get beaten up thats non of my business its the kids in the situation. The 5 year old girl smacked her almost 10 month old brothers head into the window several times and thought the whole thing was funny and showed no remorse for it what so ever. That to me is a massive red light. Ive told her since ive met her she needs to leave him and forget about her self put the kids first ect ect but im seriously thinking of calling docs or something similar if she lets him back in the house again. She loves her kids and in general they are never dirty are never without food always really well kept but just the fact that her daughter is doing stuff her father is doing and thinking its funny is not on. a kid shouldnt know that stuff be around or anything of the sorts.

What do you think i should do just stay out of it or???

I have to say, I have never experienced this myself so can't say for sure what I'd do, but I HOPE that I'd call DOCS if I really had cause for concern (and it sounds like you have every right to). I know there is always the fear of what if you're wrong? what if they find out it was you? etc, but if children are or could be at risk then it's better safe than sorry.

Just to backtrack for a second ... talking to your friend is obviously the first place to start, but it sounds like you've done that already.

Yes I would call DOCS. I know you said that the dad only hits her but he will turn on the kids one day so they are at risk. They wont find out it was you. They may even just be waiting for another report to be able to do something as teachers/carers/neighbours may have already reported them.

im thinking that i might do so if she decides to forgive and forget again. im just a little bit worried cause i know how i would feel if someone took my kids off me... but maybe thats what its going to take for her to wake up to herself? i know its the right thing to do but then why do i feel bad about doing it = S

We are so sorry to hear about your friend's situation, and just wanted to highlight some additional support services where your friend can seek professional assistance.

We are not in any way experts in dealing with this kind of situation so we strongly recommend, for your friend's safety and that of her children, that she seeks professional assistance from those who are best placed to help.

The staff at the Department of Community Services (DOCS) are there to help families experiencing domestic violence. They can be contacted on;

132 111

The Child Protection Helpline operates 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Your friend can ring statewide for the cost of a local call. All reports are treated in confidence and your friend can remain anonymous if she wishes. The below services are also available at any time;

Domestic Violence Line: 1800 656 463
(TTY 1800 671 442)
24 hours

general support & counselling
• Mission Australia Helpline: 1300 886 999
• CatholicCare Relationship Counselling: 02 9283 4899
• Lifeline: 13 11 14
• Relationships Australia: 02 9418 8800 or 1300 364 277
• Salvo Care Line: 02 9331 6000
• Salvo Crisis Line: 02 9331 2000
suicide prevention 24 hour

We hope your friend finds the support she needs.

Well as of this morning the doctors he went to classed him as clinically insane the police came to her house asking for him as his danger to himself and others... Shes still protecting after everything she didnt tell them where he was thats the worse thing and she knew where he was. If i knew the address i would be telling them straight away