Can you REALLY love a child that is not biologically yours?

I've never known my biological father. My mum made him leave when I was about 2 years old. He changed and turned very abusive and so she made him leave. She's too strong to put up with that crap.

My step father came into my life shortly after that, so I don't remember anyone else being my dad but him. To us both, he's my dad and I'm his daughter. He has twin boys from a previous marriage, plus another boy to my mum. I don't know if his feelings between us kids differ somewhat, I wouldn't blame him if they did
(I have a baby of my own, I know how it is!) But he has never ever ever made me feel like he has loved me any less. We are so close, we have always been close! So much so that because our features are similar, and mine and mum's aren't (and mum and I have never had much of a relationship) people think that dad is my real dad and that MUM is the step parent! haha!

of course you can love them, but i think deep down you have a different bond with your own child then a stepchild, as you produced them and they came from you and your blood, they are 100% a piece of you. and you never want to take the place of their biological father or mother so as much as you can love something that isn't yours, there is an invisible distance you keep from them.

from my point of view..I was adopted when I was 9months old and I know that my parents and older brothers (who are my parents biological children) do REALLY love me. There is no difference at all even though we don't share the same blood. I think it would be different because of the experiences that you have shared when children are biologically yours...but it doesn't mean they don't love you just as much. Just its simply different. I don't have any desire to search for my biological family as my family here is my real family...its the only family I have known and they are the best. smile

I think he could but i understand how it will be different. I have 2 stepkids whom i love dearly but my biological son has my heart. He is my flesh and blood and if i had to choose, i would choose him, no questions asked. Sorry to offend but thats just my opinion.

I have to agree with this.

I can only love my step D a certain degree & although I go out of my way for her, my only child, who is 10 years her junior, comes first.

Its been almost 2 years since me and my ex broke up. I met her while she was already prego by a month. she didnt find out she was until around month 5 or 6. I decided to stay with her. I didnt know how i felt about loving another mans child but i decided i would try. I ended up being in the room when she was born, and as soon as i saw her i was in love. ITs actually making me cry right now and i dont cry alot. I changes her first diaper and gave her her first bath. i gave everything i had to this little girl. Her name is sophia btw. My ex decided she didnt want to be with me (she had commitment problems, i was her longest relationship and after about a year she always moves on well this had beem about a year and a half). I tell you what people you can love a lil girl with all your heart whether she is yours or not. There is not a second that goes by that i dont miss and think about sophia. I still cry at night and like i said i dont cry. I love this little girl with all my heart, i miss chasiin her around the house and feeding her and i honestly miss changing her diapers. i had no legal right to her so i couldnt ever see her. Even tho i was taking care of her more then her mother was. SHes gonna be 3 in feb and it does make me smile thinking about her but it still hurts my heart. So sorry to make this so long and give u a life story but yes you can love a child not biologically yours.

34 years ago I babysat two children that were not mine. A little 4 yo girl and a 2.5 yo boy. Their father did not spend much time with them and they quickly cared for me as their big brother and, maybe, as a father. I also quickly fell in love with them and missed them very much when we were not together. They were my little angels and I spent as much time with them as I was allowed to over the following 4.5 years. I would babysit them and visit them when they did not need a babysitter. They loved me and I loved them more than anything in the world. Their mother did not like that they cared so much about me and she started to tell them that they had to choose between her and me. I eventually had to leave them because it wasn't fair to them. They had to choose their mother and hurt their best friend to please their mother. I would have given everything for them; I gave them up to give them a chance of a normal relationship with their mother (the toughest thing I ever had to do in my 52 yr life). When I left them, I moved across the country just so that it wouldn't hurt too much. The pain followed me wherever I went and to this day I can't think of my two little angels without tears coming to my eyes and incredible sadness in my heart. 12 years after I left them I married and got a daughter. I love my daughter, but she never replaced my two little angels. I still miss them as much now as I did 30 years ago. I know what it is like to love my child and I can guarantee that I love my two little angels like my own children, even if their mother once told me that I was nothing to them. I have wished so many times to meet them again and be part of their life. In my heart they are still my children and will always be for as long as I live. My little girl is now 38, soon to be 39 and my little boy will turn 37 in just a few days. I am a father and I could never ask my daughter, no more than I could have asked my two little angels, to give up something she loves, much less someone she loves, for me. I know we can love children that are not biologically ours even more than some parents love their own children.

husband #1 is father of my two teenage daughters. he now has two young children (3 and 8mths) to second wife. He has admitted to me that he is more of a father second time round. doesn't keep in touch with one of our daughters because of a decision she made that he didnt agree with.
husband #2 loved my daughters more than his own from what i could see! i was his third wife, he already had five daughters. I loved and treated his youngest two daughters like my own (nevr met the three older ones)
husband #3 had a step daughter who he called a daughter but didnt treat her like one LOL. She passed away at 19 a couple of years ago
we have a 4month old son and i swear that its like he has never been a father. i told him that he would not be suitable as a foster parent, to adopt a child either and that he would not be happy unless he had his own flesh and blood. he whole heartedly agreed
i am adopted so i absolutely believe that loving a non biological child is possible.

My mum and dad split when my sister and i were very young... so as it goes he met wife #2 and we got a little sister... one of the happiest moments of my life as a teenager... My Mum just totally loved and adored our little sister (and still does) she treated her like she was one of her own and as far as my mums concerned she was and still is... Then dad and wife #2 had a son so yay we got a lil bro and once again my mum loved and adored him too. (still does)... she made clothes 4 them and bought birthday and xmas pressys.. people would comment to her... hey isnt that ya exes child... (for some reason it was wrong to love and look after your exes and his new wifes children) but my mum did it, and if anyone had a problem with it then something must be wrong with them! she would say.. they also call my mums mum grandma just like we do... our whole family (on my mums side) have accepted them into their lives from day 1... it dosent matter that they are not their blood but they are mine and my sisters so thats good enough reason 2 love them.. being great kids helps too.. so yeah you can love a child that is biologically not yours my mum does and her extended family too... even though they were her exes (my dad) and wife #2 biological kids.!!! dad and wife #2 split about 10 years ago... so he meets wife #3 & we got another lil brother and once again he was welcomed into all families above with open arms...

My mother walked out in my family when I was 10 months old. My mum (step-mum officially), raised us as her own from when I was about 18 months old. She changed my dirty nappy, got up to me in the night, looked after me when I was sick, and was everything a mother should be. She loves me more than life itself.

I have had a chat to her about this issue. She said that for her it isn't so much biological or not, but she does have a different relationship with each of her biological or non biological children. But we aren't carbon copies of one another, we are individuals and she relates to us all differently.

Having had a second child myself, I understand. Both my girls are very different, I love them both to the moon and back, but in different ways. I love different things about them.

You may feel differently about your own children, but that's normal. Your partner will too. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing. It just means he appreciates the infividuality your children will no doubt have.

Luba wrote:
I have a 16 month old and im with a man who came into the picture when my daughter was a month old. He sais he loves my child as his own but if he has biological children it would be different which confuses me. This prompts me to ask the question: can a man REALLY love a child that is not biologically theirs? I would appreciate any opinion on the matter.

my DH came into our lives when my dd1 was 2. she has called him daddy since about 7 mths after we met. we are due to have our 4th next year.
.we have had a bit of a hard time medically with dd1, and hubby has been there every step of the way, he does insulin and tablets, she used to have night seziures and he would always wake up with me even if i beat him up!
i think its very possible for someone to love a child that isnt biologically theirs, although it takes a very strong and loving person.
the only favouritism he ever shows is to the new bubs lol, he gets quite clucky when they are born and protective, but he is the same with all the kids.
i think its also a matter of us not showing special treatment to the child that isnt theirs, i did almost fall into this pattern as i felt she was missing out. it didnt take long to realise he resented me for it , and after a long talk he told me he felt like the kids werent equal in my eyes. in a way he was right as i felt she needed to be reassured more that i still loved her, which she did try to use to her advantage until i clicked onto wat she was doing lol
i had huge worries when we fell pregnant for the first time. i was sure he would love that bub more, but i was shocked when he started spending even more time with dd1 on their own to give me and bub time ( i was very sick for the first couple of weeks after )
my dd's also call my ex's wife mummy katie, she treats all the kids the same as well, so does my ex now, surprisingly ( he wasnt even that good with his biological daughter when she was born lol he had to learn ). it took awhile for that to happen but i was addamant that it was wat was best for all involved, it works well for us.
dont lose heart, there are lots of men and women out there who have huge hearts and lots of love to give smile