Deleted
[Edited on 25/03/2009]
[Edited on 25/03/2009]
Deleted
- Me''n''Bean
- New Zealand
- Total posts: 10
- Rockies
- New Zealand
- Total posts: 253
Hi Me,
I gave a comment in the relationships post.
His logic is faulty. He says that you would be paying rent anyway if he didn't buy the house. But he would be there living in the rented home too, right? So you're BOTH paying rent... You now have a house, you're BOTH paying a morgage.
For some guys buying a house is stressful and scary. Having a child is scary and stressful. Put the 2 together...
Tell him yes you're a gold digger and not a very good one! After you finish laughing say I know you're freaking out but I'm actually on your side! And take it from there I guess.
Depending on how he takes responsibilities he may feel the weight of the world on his shoulders. He is not responding to the pressure well so he needs some help. That's your job. He may have well made a life plan and being a father didn't fit into the plan just yet and he is having trouble adjusting. Who knows! Why don't you find out? And don't accept the 1st thing that blurts out of his mouth. He has no idea he's freaking out... gently guide him to the realisation that he's gone completely nuts smile. Charging rent... that's a thought only a nutter could have. It ain't rational, lol.
In my opinion, the real problem is you've taken personally. And making it worse by getting upset about it. Don't. It's so laughable I can't believe you take it seriously. The comment is just a huge neon sign saying " I ain't handling this well! HELP ME!! "
Anyways I'm just rambling now. Good luck.
I gave a comment in the relationships post.
His logic is faulty. He says that you would be paying rent anyway if he didn't buy the house. But he would be there living in the rented home too, right? So you're BOTH paying rent... You now have a house, you're BOTH paying a morgage.
For some guys buying a house is stressful and scary. Having a child is scary and stressful. Put the 2 together...
Tell him yes you're a gold digger and not a very good one! After you finish laughing say I know you're freaking out but I'm actually on your side! And take it from there I guess.
Depending on how he takes responsibilities he may feel the weight of the world on his shoulders. He is not responding to the pressure well so he needs some help. That's your job. He may have well made a life plan and being a father didn't fit into the plan just yet and he is having trouble adjusting. Who knows! Why don't you find out? And don't accept the 1st thing that blurts out of his mouth. He has no idea he's freaking out... gently guide him to the realisation that he's gone completely nuts smile. Charging rent... that's a thought only a nutter could have. It ain't rational, lol.
In my opinion, the real problem is you've taken personally. And making it worse by getting upset about it. Don't. It's so laughable I can't believe you take it seriously. The comment is just a huge neon sign saying " I ain't handling this well! HELP ME!! "
Anyways I'm just rambling now. Good luck.
Rocks weather
- thinking
- ACT, Australia
- Total posts: 357
hmm I'm not a guy but here's my advice anyway smile
I totally understand where is coming from - not wanting to loose his assets BUT. You need to feel equal in your relationship I don't believe you should pay him rent but you should contribute to the other bills.
I would say I'm happy to sign a prenup but I will not pay you rent if you want me to contribute to the mortgage as your wife then I expect part ownership. If he feels this way about Mine and yours you should make sure you keep a savings account in your name only and contribute to that account you do not have to hide it but it makes you more independant and if you can work towards your own assets it brings you to a more equal playing field.
If you dont agree with the prenup do not sign.
I totally understand where is coming from - not wanting to loose his assets BUT. You need to feel equal in your relationship I don't believe you should pay him rent but you should contribute to the other bills.
I would say I'm happy to sign a prenup but I will not pay you rent if you want me to contribute to the mortgage as your wife then I expect part ownership. If he feels this way about Mine and yours you should make sure you keep a savings account in your name only and contribute to that account you do not have to hide it but it makes you more independant and if you can work towards your own assets it brings you to a more equal playing field.
If you dont agree with the prenup do not sign.
- prouddadof3
- VIC, Australia
- Total posts: 6031
this may sound harsh and it goes against my better judgement to say this but
he is already paving the way for his escape
if he's hitting you up for rent i would be charging him baby sitting fees for looking after your daughter
as he is treating your relationship as a business deal
and if that is the case then you should do the same
charge him for looking after your daughter even hit him up for maintenance
prenups are one of those things that are double edged if you love him you have no problems signing as you are not after his wealth but then if he loved you he wouldn't ask you to sign one cos he knows your not after his wealth
he is already paving the way for his escape
if he's hitting you up for rent i would be charging him baby sitting fees for looking after your daughter
as he is treating your relationship as a business deal
and if that is the case then you should do the same
charge him for looking after your daughter even hit him up for maintenance
prenups are one of those things that are double edged if you love him you have no problems signing as you are not after his wealth but then if he loved you he wouldn't ask you to sign one cos he knows your not after his wealth
