I am shattered

Last night we got a phonecall from the keyboard teacher who used to teach the kids at school.This year she has a new teacher who takes the lessons.Ds2 and a few other boys were playing up and apparently she is now refusing to teach him, she will not have him and his mate in the class anymore.He can be a litle S**T at home a lot of the times but the behaviour at school has been impeccable until this incident, I dont think he will be getting the exemplary behaviour award this term.The keyboard teacher wanted to let us know and said to my dh that she was not taking it up with the school but I will be mentioning to the school but I will by asking the principal does he know about the behaviour during keyboard.I am so upset and cranky at this kid.I have raised a spoilt brat.Well I have to go wash my face and calm myself down before my doctors appointment.

You poor thing.
I know how boys can be sometimes. Its hard. Have you spoken to him about it? Maybe there was a reason and he is not totaly to blame?

I'd be checking out whether his behaviour is only bad when he's around the friend who got kicked out of lessons with him.

As a teacher I've often noticed there are some kids who behave wonderfully until they buddy up with the ones who are a bad influence. Not sure if you can do anything about it but maybe have a chat about friends who help him make "good choices".

Don't blame yourself vkw! Boys are so rowdy and mischievous by nature. I understand how you feel though sad

I would say that his behaviour would have been worse being with his mate. One boy that age is normally fairly easy to manage, even if they are little s**ts as you say but two is a nightmare.

It's a horrible feeling when our kids make mistakes and do the wrong thing. Somehow its as if we take it personally....

Try not to stress about it. Sit down and have a talk with him about why he chose to behave that way. Hopefully now it is out in the open he wont behave like that again. Have a think about what you want to say and what you want to get out of the conversation first or the anger might come out instead. Have you thought about whether he will be getting a consequence for his behaviour?

Good luck with it all smile

Last night we got a phonecall from the keyboard teacher who used to teach the kids at school.This year she has a new teacher who takes the lessons.Ds2 and a few other boys were playing up and apparently she is now refusing to teach him, she will not have him and his mate in the class anymore.He can be a litle S**T at home a lot of the times but the behaviour at school has been impeccable until this incident, I dont think he will be getting the exemplary behaviour award this term.The keyboard teacher wanted to let us know and said to my dh that she was not taking it up with the school but I will be mentioning to the school but I will by asking the principal does he know about the behaviour during keyboard.I am so upset and cranky at this kid.I have raised a spoilt brat.Well I have to go wash my face and calm myself down before my doctors appointment.

That sucks.

If his behaviour has been fine until now, then I don't think you have much to worry about! Seems like you have caught it at the onset, so you can probably stop it from continuing.

He isn't a spoiled brat just because he misbehaved or didn't comply to the teacher's wishes on that day. Sometimes, boys just don't notice when they are aggravating someone and the teacher asking him to stop several times for instance, could have gone largely unnoticed by your son. He could have just gotten carried away? Do you know exactly what happened?

Sometimes teachers (especially extra curricular teachers who don't have the benefit of getting to know the kids well) can have a really hard time, so their patience is already worn thin before anything has even gone wrong. Kids can also get carried away because for some reason in schools, it is seen as acceptable by kids to treat those kinds of teachers badly. Perhaps bring those things up with him? Try and get him to emathise with the teacher?

All year he has been complaining about the 'new' teacher, that she does not show him how to do things and expects him to play at her pace when he does not know what to do.I am not musical at all so cant help with that aspect.His friend is a nice kid but they can carry on a bit together.He said that one of the other boys in the class was pulling faces at him when he was playing for the teacher whuch made his friend laugh etc.He told us that he did not laugh at that point but he must have done something.This teacher is only fair young and not a trained teacher if you know what I mean - probably she cant cope with bunch of rowdy 8 and 9 yr olds( all boys but 1).And he is spoilt.I am not firm enough with him so he walks all over me.
The school itself could be a bit of a problem being so small and as dh said there are too many knuckleheads.The 2 school captains have had their badges taken away as they took part in making racial and derograty(sp not even close with the spelling I'm sure ) comments about some kids and their mothers.Its hard to make new friends when there is not much choice.Wr are seriously thinking of sending them to ds1's school next year but it depends on if the school has spaces ( out of area) in their classes for next year.
And there will be consequences, still working it out l but as dh said he is on notice lol.
Ds3 was complaining if a sore stomach today and is worried he will get expelled.I told him he is just upset after yesterday and he is going to school!
At least he is thinking about his actions

Vkw..... if the teacher is not teaching him at his pace of course he is going to play up. Boys especially can turn into the class clown to compensate for them feeling under pressure & unable to perform. My dh always says he acted up because he felt like he was dumb and couldn't keep up, so rather than be embarrassed about it made it look purposeful.

Teaching is supposed to be individualised these days to prevent that from happening, I would definitely be chatting to the principal about this because if the class is out of control like you say it is - it reflects on her poor teaching ability.

I agree with someone above, if his behaviour has been impeccable to now I wouldn't worry so much but look to perhaps something else going on?

Your boys are very intelligent right?
My friends 9 yr old son is extremely bright. Always an exemplary student and straight A's. She was absolutely furious when one day she got a call from the school because her son played a 'prank' on the teacher (pulled the chair away before she sat down) and the teacher got hurt.

It was completely out of character for her son. But I think a lot had to do with peer pressure and trying to fit in. Unfortunately smart boys cop flack as they get older for being 'nerdy' and sometimes they have to try and 'prove' themselves to the other boys with behaviour they normally wouldn't do ... just a thought?

Vkw..... if the teacher is not teaching him at his pace of course he is going to play up. Boys especially can turn into the class clown to compensate for them feeling under pressure & unable to perform. My dh always says he acted up because he felt like he was dumb and couldn't keep up, so rather than be embarrassed about it made it look purposeful.

Teaching is supposed to be individualised these days to prevent that from happening, I would definitely be chatting to the principal about this because if the class is out of control like you say it is - it reflects on her poor teaching ability.

I completely agree with this smile

I agree with someone above, if his behaviour has been impeccable to now I wouldn't worry so much but look to perhaps something else going on?

Your boys are very intelligent right?
My friends 9 yr old son is extremely bright. Always an exemplary student and straight A's. She was absolutely furious when one day she got a call from the school because her son played a 'prank' on the teacher (pulled the chair away before she sat down) and the teacher got hurt.

It was completely out of character for her son. But I think a lot had to do with peer pressure and trying to fit in. Unfortunately smart boys cop flack as they get older for being 'nerdy' and sometimes they have to try and 'prove' themselves to the other boys with behaviour they normally wouldn't do ... just a thought?

I recently got a book called Smart Parenting for Smart Kids. It is really basic but really simple and has case studies of kids using common problems smart kids generally encounter. Maybe you could read it for your boys.

I don't think it is your son's fault.

I used to get picked on a lot by certain teachers, my parents always listened to my side of the story and then took it up with the teacher if required. The same thing happened to my brother, who is really similar to me. Once he was accused of stealing someone's ipod from their bag because earlier in the day he had gotten a redskin out of his mate's bag and this was on camera. He insisted it wasn't him but the principal lied and said he has watched the entire tape, and that he had seen my brother in the tape with the ipod. Of course they couldn't find it on him because he hadn't done it! They kept him in the principal's office all day interogating him and didn't even call my parents. My parents were furious because my brother doesn't lie, and demanded to see the entire surveillance tape, at which point they all saw another kid take the ipod.

Teachers aren't always in the right. And kids are often not respected the way they should be in schools, especially smart kids. (and from what I have read, boys have it harder from teachers too).