My boys are 19 months apart and I find it works quite well. M is in a routine (which he found for himself though it took a while) and with J I just go with the flow. I have some really easy lunch and snack ideas that I can pop out if I have both up at the same time. M has a bottle of water at all times. The lounge with the toys is gated off so I can be in here feeding J and not have to worry about what M is up to at the other end of the house.

I just found my groove and what works for us. Good luck.

well, i have 2 boys 10 months apart, they are now 5 and 6, i have 2 girls 10 months apart, they are 2 and 3 yo and i have a 12 month old (yesterday) and a 1 month old boys, so 11 months apart for them. I think its gfabulous.. you may not have gray hair, but life can be a bit of a blur for about 6 or so months, I have late walkers so i end up with a neworn and baby that are both not walking for a while, and i cant take the double side by side pram out, becuase the older baby attacks the newborn..lol. but really once they are that bit older it is so awesome and the hard days will be a distant memeory. I always give myself that 6 months though as the older one will be putting everything in his/her mouth so its a constant watching them as well as dealing with the new baby, it does work, some days you just have to throw your hands up in the air and think that tomorrow will be better, but overall , i would never have a big age gap again..my first 2 kids are 23 months apart, and that is way to big a gap for me.. You will be fine, a bit daunting at first, but awesome as they grow together.
[Edited on 06/02/2010]

thanks so much ladies, yep I have just bought a play pen for that very reason.. wow you have so many babies, how amazing. I guess a bit of a routine for the older one is the key which I am now finding he is getting himself into anyway..but I agree.. am really happy to be having them close together so they can be great mates growing up.. I have a phil & teds so L won't be able to bash newborn as he won't be able to reach he he! that's if I ever leave the house smile

My to are 18 months apart, I had DD in a really good routine before DS was born, after DS was born I made him fit into DD's routine and it all just fell into place, some days are a real changeling but I think that is just part of being a mum no matter what the age gap is. I could not image it any other way now.
Good Luck!!!

I think when you have a couple close together, you prioritise your jobs..like, do i REALLY have to leave the house today?? lol. I think you can become housebound for a while , it can just seem all to much in the beginning, but when you find your rhythm, you will be so proud of yourself! and don't try and do everything all at once. i am a really organised person (i think i have to be) but sometimes i find my own expectationsa re what drags me down,instead of enjoying the memeonts with the kids.. so i am still learning to find a bablance with it all .. always something to learn.

I have the same gap as what you will have (girls are 12months 28 days apart lol) you have your moments but you get there in the end (the house may be a mess but meh it can wait lol). If it makes you feel a little better I also moved two days after dd2 was born so not only did I have the stress of a one year old and a newborn I also had the stress of moving - but I managed (really dont know how)

As alwaysawake said you do become housebound and some people really dont understand this - home is my friend even now with a two year old and a one year old lol.

mine are 16months apart and i havent had that hard a time. the worst part for me wasnt the early stages, but once the youngest was also walking.
yes my house is often messy but if the kids get to noisy or im getting to stressed i put them in the pram and we go for a walk, when dd was a newborn she would be asleep when we got home so thats what worked for me. also putting the older one in a playpen/porta cot or high chair while feeding the younger one, and giving the older one something special to do playdoh, sticker, drawing, snacks, dvd time etc

Mine are 13.5months apart (3 in may, 2 in july) and here is my advice
* buy a tandem not a side by side pram, i've got a graco one sold at baby on a budget (the newer of the 2 modles they sell, i've used it nearly everyday in the last 19moinths)
* make and freeze as many meals/soups as you can before bub 2 arrives, one less thing to worry about if you have a crap day. invest in a slow cooker and a rice maker too.
* accept offers of help - not to sit and cuddle bubs while you serve them a cupppa, but folding washing, doing dishes, ironing, vacuuming, cooking
* if both kids are asleep during the day at the same time - join them in the land of nod!! Bugg*r the housework - it can wait!!!!
* find activities that older bub likes and have them handy for feeding times, books, shape o balls duplo etc are good cause you can sorta help one handed

All the best, its tough at the start but it does get better!!!

My girls are 14 months apart and I'm due in September so will have around the same age gap between the next two.

The first probably 8 weeks or so are the hardest. I agree with PP's if you can have the first child in a good routine it makes it all the easier once the next comes along. I had a non nighttime sleeper DD2 for the first few months, so the biggest help people could give me was to take DD1 for a long walk once DD2 went down for a nap so I could catch up on some sleep too.

Slow cooker is the best invention in the world.

Housework can always wait - sleep is more important.

Accept every offer of help, however small. Don't think of it as people thinking you can't cope with the two (which is stupidly what I did lol) but the fact that people genuinely DO want to help.

Involve the older baby as much as possible. I found once DD2 was on solids some jealousy did kick in. This was instantly solved by giving DD1 a spoonful of DD2's food at the start and at the end of her feed. Strange, but it seemed to work lol. Also by asking DD1 to "please pass mummy the cloth" or whatever, and then praising her, she was helping (a lot actually!) and also felt really involved.

Everything you do "for the first time" will be hard. But once you have done it once you will feel invincible!! LOL. First times are definitely the hardest.

Every day we're still learning new things and changing as the situation dictates.

I agree with PP I love my tandem pram, but now the girls are a bit older I'll probably get a side by side stroller (cos they are both now a bit big for the pram).

Oh, and the BEST invention ever IMO besides a slow cooker is a magna doodle....DD1 will sit and draw for ages, no need to worry about crayons or pencils or paper running out, once the picture is finished she clears the screen and starts again.

All the very best with it, feel free to pm any time if you like smile

Christy

p.s. congratulations on the impending arrival!

Hi.
My 2 are 13months apart and i have no signs of grey hair yet.
It wasnt really planned to have them that close together, we were hoping to concieve when the oldest turne 1 not have a baby the next month!! lol
As long as you have got a routine it is hard work bu the routine does help.
Once the youngest starts walking and playing with the oldest it feels liek having twins.
They do al the same things together.
I make them nap together and go tot bed at the same time as each other, fo me its easy that way.
Good luck
:]

My boys are 18mths apart and they are best friends(only time they fight is when it comes to there toys when they want the same toy)
but my older son became very jealous/teritorial as soon as DS#2 was rolling crawling, but DS#1 was very helpful always wanting to help with everything, and now at 3 1/2 and almost 2 they are best friends and DS#1 is always reading books to him and helping him and looking after him with everything

I have 2 kids, 17 months apart, and in the beginning I found that it wasn't as hard as I had expected. I was alot more tired but you get used to it all and become less tired.

I found it's alot easier if you do everything in 2's. Eg. Change both nappys at the same time, even if one doesn't need it. Stuff like that.

I was very worried about leaving the house in the beginning thinking I would not be able to cope with them if they both started crying etc, but the shops entertained them so once I saw that they were ok at the shops we went more often.

Now that they are a little older they are harder to chase after LOL! I avoid the shops or going out a bit but I think it's a good thing because I'm starting to like staying home more smile

Also, write a list at the start of the week that has your housework you need done by the end of the week. That gives you 7 days to go thru the list instead of trying to get it all done in one day smile

i like the house work list, great idea

I have twins.
Advice? Start drinking now

my biggest pointer is to get them on the same routine as early as you can.. my girls are 15mths apart, and they do everything at the same time now, my youngest still stuggles a little with getting to sleep etc.. but honestly them eating, bathing, playing and sleeping at the same time is like having just the one baby..

the only thing i stuggle with is mummy cuddles, my oldest gets really jealous when my youngest is getting them, and she starts to hurt her. so i make it a point to have cuddles with my eldest first, while my youngest is busy playing, then swap them over.. or generally we all lay on the bed and have cuddles together the 3 of us..

congrats on a bubba coming soon.. good luck over the next few months.

Thank you so much, you have all given me some great ideas. Lists, routine, etc. I think i will put all the suggestions on my fridge so I can look at them and psyche myself up for the impending chaos!

We were actually having twins but twin B died at about 8.5 weeks.. now that would have been interesting, 3 under 1! I was very sad but we are positive people and have focused on the healthy bub and how we are going to do it with two. You guys have helped me so much, I was not stressing but I was wondering how on earth I was going to do it. I keep thinking if Octomum can do it then bloody hell I can.

I am now 14 weeks and only just starting to feel better.. this pregnancy has not been as easy I guess being tired to start with did not help, but look at you all doing amazing jobs with them all close together.

I hope I get time and energy to stay with the forum throughout.. nice sharing stories. (just need to learn the lingo!)

x

Hello

My first time on here too... just had to reply to your post as I have 2 children 14 months apart.

Just wanted to say some days you won't see the light at the end of the tunnel and your house will be a big mess but its going to be worth it having them grow up together. My baby is now 6 months and her brother 21 months, it is getting easier each day as they are getting bigger.

Some days are great other days I seem to be running around like a chook with my head cut off. Yes the greys are coming through but we all survive and so do the kids. I am lucky I have 2 teenagers to help when my hubby goes away with work alot. Good luck to you with your pregnancy hope all goes well for you.

take care x

I just thought that you might be interested that my friend had her two children 8 months apart!! They were suppose to be 11 months apart but she went into labour when her son was only 8 months old, having the baby girl 13 weeks early. She coped alright but had her tubes tied soon after!!

Hi all, I am new to this forum but wanted to ask if anyone had any tips on bringing up two close together. We are due in August, 5 weeks after Lachlan's first birthday.. therefore making them 13 months apart if bub #2 comes on time. Will I have grey hair by the end of the year?? Thanks so much.

my two are 14months apart. somedays it is hectic. but i think it was a good idea having them close as my daughter absolutely adores her baby brother.. actually obsessed would be the better word! i thought she'd be nasty towards him, but she shocked me. when you've been home for a few weeks it'll be natural. you'll get a routine. and if anyone looks at u funny when u tell them how close they are.. just ignore them! i get it all the time. but i wouldn't have it any other way.. and my litle boy loves his big sister.. laughes at her.. even pulling her hair now and he's only 6mths! don't stress!!!

plenty of good tips for you here already, so I won't rehash them.I actually found the days I had 3 under 3 less challenging than now LOL.Something for you to look forward to hehe
[Edited on 09/02/2010]

hi manda my 2 are 11 months apart and i wouldnt have changed it for the world as soon as i could they were in the same routine and they have grown up with one another not really knowing any different. They fight but they get over it very quickly. they are in the same size clothes and have been since i cant remeber i toliet trained them at the same time pretty much. The only thing is you cant just buy one thing for one hahaha lol... they look like twins we always get asked if they r, and they r the best of friends!!!!!

Hi

I have two babies 20 months apart... I agree with all of the above, just one thing I wanted to say, when baby #2 comes along be careful people don't try to take baby #1 all the time. I have had my mum, my husband, sister etc all come and take Matilda so I can have alone time with the baby... which don't get me wrong, its great but I feel like I don't ever get alone time with Matilda.... and when she comes home from her visits with nana she is so grumpy I have to be the one to dicipline her. She now sees daddy and nana as fun people and mummy as a grouch with a baby hanging off her boob! I have been alone with Matilda once since Charlotte was born, we went to the corner shop together to buy bread.

I guess people just try to help, but its important to have the balance between kids...

Believe it or not, my girls are only 11 minutes apart. Yes, they are twins. With one it's hard, with two it's harder. They are now 5 months old. But I believe I'm managing my life well. roll eyes

DD1 is 20 months older than DDs 2 & 3 (6 minutes apart for them). They are now 2 and 3 1/2 months.

My advice is to involve the first born as much as you can. Perhaps a little easier for me than with an under 1 year old, but I'm sure there are things they can do - read the baby a book while you feed for example.

My DD1 helps with nappy changes, fetching dummies, getting the phone etc. She actually volunteered her help so obviously wanted to be involved. Bonuses are that she gets praised for her good work and she is genuinely a big help to me.

I can't wait till the girls start solids as we should be able to feed them together, DD1 is already wanting to offer them her food.

Other big bit of advice is don't worry if any of your routines fall apart. There is always time later to put them back together and it is much more important to just do what makes life easier at the time.

my 2 are both girls and are 11 months and 3 weeks apart.
i used to just keep the older occupied whilst i was tending to the younger, as they got to be toddlers, i just had to keep them busy, i think entertainment and routine is always the key.
when mine were 2 and 3 i had my 3rd daughter, so i had 3 under 5 and it was hard, i split my husband when the youngest was 10 weeks old, so i had them on my own and i it was very hard, but routine and fun is what made it bareable. i also found cooking was a great entertainer, mixing and tasting and making mess!!!

good luck its hard, mine are 9 11 and 12 now, and im in here for help on how do i get ready for the teenage years, one with her period the other not, the mood swings, i need help with that!!!!

i had my 4 children all close together. My oldest has just turned 6, the next is 4 and the last 2 are neally 3. Its not easy but making sure you have a routine and sticking to it as much as possible helps and accepting help that is a very big thing. You are going to have days where tha children all want your undivided attention and thats hard i still have that now. Its nice having them close but the point that im at now i wonder if its going to get easier best of luck with it

i had 4 kids under 4, my son is now 5, daughter 2 and twin boys nearly 10 months old. There is 19 months between my daughter and the twins and its great, the hardest of it all is getting my son to school everyday and having to lug all the rest with me. I absolutely love having them all and i don't think its hard at all, some days are challenging but that is rare, we all do the same thing, all eat at the same time sleep, bath. If I didn't do that I would never have enough time to do the things I like. The twins are best ever, just love having them, they are the funniest little boys, just beautiful.

hummmm ok well where to start, i have a 5 year old and then a 2, 1, newborn. They are all really boy boys so into everything, they have everready battery's so they go and go and go. I tend to have a problem at the moment that the 2 and 1 year old pik on each other all the time very frustrating.

I am finding it very very hard, as you can emangin these last 2 pregnancies weren't quite planned however i would'nt change it, i love all my babies however sometimes it gets hard trying to juggle everything and sometimes i just need to say ahhhhhh the house can look like a disaster Zone for another day!!! (however it is hard to live in a mess)

but i think the lesson is that if u feel like u are drowning ask for help!!! Honestly i feel like im drowning most days but i love my babies to much to let it get the best of me, i have great family and friends and I asked for help! Dont be afraid if ur feeling over whelmed ask for help!

In saying that, yet again my babies are awesome and i love watching them grow and reach there milestones, I wonder without them what would i do lol

much love and heart to all those mummys and daddys out there with awesome babys that just happen to be close together!!!!!!