I know she is capable of being very friendly and loving and she has heaps of friends at kinder to prove this. However, she still has moments of totally losing the plot and lashing out. I know this is linked to her maybe being tired and sometimes it is out of jealousy (eg. toward her little brother) and so I understand why it is happening but I cannot seem to get through to her the concepts of respect & consideration. I understand these are pretty heavy things for a 4 yr old to get a firm grasp on so I try to make it simple and for example, will explain that hitting someone hurts them and how would she like it if someone hit her etc but even though she seems to get it, she can't seem to put it into practice. She is a very clever kid and there are no concerns of any developmental or behavioural issues.
Some of the things she will do is lash out and hit or kick whoever is closest, throw things, slam doors, jump all over furniture and scream like she's being tortured (I often wonder what the neighbours think!). She can also be really nasty if she has a friend or if we have visitors over during one of these melt downs and will scream for them to go away.
When we discipline, we always try to be consistent. There are always consequences (taking away toys etc), we do time-outs. We also have tried teaching her to manage the anger with deep breathing and taking herself away but she can't seem to do this when it happens. We also try to stay calm and not yell (not always easy). And I try to reward the good things as soon as they happen.
I don't know if I'm expecting too much of her at this age? Do others think she can learn this or do we just have to continue with disciplining the bad behaviour when it happens? Suggestions, ideas please...