Naughty 3 1/2 yr old

I have been having alot of trouble with my nearly 4 yo daughter.
She has a problem with listening I will ask her nicely to pack up her toys where i get a NO, ask her again yet another NO! then simple things like eating dinner....no I don't want to, having a shower NO! everything is a no, i'll ask her nicely to play with toys while i cook dinner no i am staying here. Or going to bed i catch her playing with her ds and take it tell her off and leave the room....which she yells on the top of her lunch i don't want to go to bed. And she's lately been yelling NO!! and screaming too. And have caught her spitting and child care have noticed a recent change aswell with spitting and acting different with listening. I always ask what did i just ask you, and she will come back with what!!

She likes sleeping with the light off so i simply tell her ok , well if you don't do that i'm turing the light off...sometimes it works some not.

But really her listening is an issue, especially if we have a trip to the shops is it such a handful touching everything, and crying over nothing.

Another thing with coming home at 5:30 after child care she always ask can i have a biscuit i say no its nearly tea she cracks the *** and says but i want one now not after tea. I never give in i say no its nearly tea.

Not sure if its just the age where she is testing to see what she can get away with, or if it's attention seeking she is in child care x5 days a week as i work full-time.

DD2 will be 4 in December- reading your post was like thinking about her!! I've put it for me down to an age thing. I think she has found her own little person & I guess in her world she's number 1 & if she doesn't want to she wont.

My DD2 also has a little anger issue. She will add the odd hit & push into her disagreements! I now will just look at her like she has really hurt my feeling & turn my back (I learnt that sending her to her room for a couple of minutes just got her too upset), she will then come to me about 1min later & apologise & give me a hug.

I have the same issue with the food thing at 5:30pm. My god you would think she hadn't eaten in months!!

I hope for the both of us it's an age thing & we will soon be past it!

Just like 'thechecks', it sounds like my DD1, who is also 4 in December! She's such a nice, loving, affectionate girl - but a complete little stubborn monster too! I would like to blame the age, but she has been like this since she was 18mths.

Some days/nights, I just feel like tearing all my hair out and curling up in the foetal position while crying and completely ignoring everything and everyone around me.
I'm really hoping she'll eventually grow out of this annoyingly bad behaviour by the time she gets to school!

I've also thought maybe it's an attention thing, I'm a SAHM, but with other kids to watch I thought maybe she feels left out, but no, she's exactly the same whether she gets heaps of attention during the day, or just the same amount as the other kids!

I'm at a loss as to what to try next - she frustrates me so much, especially with the not listening thing...grrr.

So, I'm not really much help to you, but at least you know you're not alone!

Just like 'thechecks', it sounds like my DD1, who is also 4 in December! She's such a nice, loving, affectionate girl - but a complete little stubborn monster too! I would like to blame the age, but she has been like this since she was 18mths.

Some days/nights, I just feel like tearing all my hair out and curling up in the foetal position while crying and completely ignoring everything and everyone around me.
I'm really hoping she'll eventually grow out of this annoyingly bad behaviour by the time she gets to school!

I've also thought maybe it's an attention thing, I'm a SAHM, but with other kids to watch I thought maybe she feels left out, but no, she's exactly the same whether she gets heaps of attention during the day, or just the same amount as the other kids!

I'm at a loss as to what to try next - she frustrates me so much, especially with the not listening thing...grrr.

So, I'm not really much help to you, but at least you know you're not alone!

Thank you for the insite i am not the only one with this problem. I am the same i get so angry i just walk away, i wish i could lock my self away sometimes. My partner tells me she's just a kid they do this but really it is so frustrating when she doesn't listen.She is a very smart girl, too smart for her own good and is generally a good kid but i would say about 60% she's not. When i tell her off definitely knows now i am serious but i too hope it stops by school time, even worse i hope she didn't pick up things from other kids.

Hi ladies well I have a daughter nearly 4 (Dec) & what you've written sounds like my situation. The frustration inside is unbearable some days. I go for big walks alone. I remind myself that, this too shall pass. Big Hugs

Might sound a little odd -but one of the things I learnt very quickly babysitting and working with kids is to think about how you say things. So instead of saying "Can you pack up your toys" say "Mummy needs you to pack up your toys now"
For children who like to make their own decisions it can be good to offer two choices (both of which you are happy with) for example: "It's shower time - are you going to have a shower or bath?"
Hope these ideas help! Or at least inspire some others to share what they have tried. And Hang in there!!

Might sound a little odd -but one of the things I learnt very quickly babysitting and working with kids is to think about how you say things. So instead of saying "Can you pack up your toys" say "Mummy needs you to pack up your toys now"
For children who like to make their own decisions it can be good to offer two choices (both of which you are happy with) for example: "It's shower time - are you going to have a shower or bath?"
Hope these ideas help! Or at least inspire some others to share what they have tried. And Hang in there!!

I agree, you need to be careful that you are telling them what you want, not asking them to do things - thereby giving the impression they can say no.

I also agree with giving them a choice from two things, this gives them a sense of having some control over what is happening and a say in things. When getting ready "would you like to wear this outfit or that outfit, "would you like to wear a dress or pants", "we are going to get in the car now, do you want to bring a toy with you" - this is one I use as my kids fluff around when it comes to going out but for some reason if they can bring a toy they rush to get it and get in the car.

For all the backchatting etc you just have to stick to your guns, give an instruction, tell her what you want her to do and if she doesnt do it then give consequences, like timeout or removal of a treat like going to the park (but always give a warning first eg if she doesnt do this or that then she will not get to go to the park).

Hi, like you i have trouble at times with my 3 year old. one of the things i have found works is if you make a game of picking up toys. Maybe a reward like a sticker or stamp when she does this may help. Also, she may respond better if you ask 'can you help mummy clean up?' Getting down at their level and making eye contact and then asking also helps me.
Saying 'no' all the time is sometimes an attention seeking device so if she sees she gets a reaction out of you she may like doing this. when my daughter tells me that she doesn't want any dinner, i just let this go-she will eat when she is hungry. I also have a routine when she goes to bed so she knows she needs to settle down and we have a chat and read her books. if you say she can play with her ds, you may find it helpful to put a time limit on this and say 2 more minutes then we get ready for bed. Dr Richard Green's book 'toddler taming' is fantastic if you can get a copy, maybe on ebay. This has by far been my biggest help! i hope this helps!

I have been having alot of trouble with my nearly 4 yo daughter.
She has a problem with listening I will ask her nicely to pack up her toys where i get a NO, ask her again yet another NO! then simple things like eating dinner....no I don't want to, having a shower NO! everything is a no, i'll ask her nicely to play with toys while i cook dinner no i am staying here. Or going to bed i catch her playing with her ds and take it tell her off and leave the room....which she yells on the top of her lunch i don't want to go to bed. And she's lately been yelling NO!! and screaming too. And have caught her spitting and child care have noticed a recent change aswell with spitting and acting different with listening. I always ask what did i just ask you, and she will come back with what!!

She likes sleeping with the light off so i simply tell her ok , well if you don't do that i'm turing the light off...sometimes it works some not.

But really her listening is an issue, especially if we have a trip to the shops is it such a handful touching everything, and crying over nothing.

Another thing with coming home at 5:30 after child care she always ask can i have a biscuit i say no its nearly tea she cracks the *** and says but i want one now not after tea. I never give in i say no its nearly tea.

Not sure if its just the age where she is testing to see what she can get away with, or if it's attention seeking she is in child care x5 days a week as i work full-time.

My son is the same. I have read it is how you talk to them and plan to get the book 'how to talk so kids will listen'
tips like saying Mummy wants you to clean up now,and making it a bit of fun a race or something. Standard answer to a question will be no so they say to talk in statements because you are the boss and this is what will be happening. Very hard I am pregnant and hormonal also with one under 2 so lots of times he gets the better of me!!