Advice On Full Custody

Hi everyone,

My name is Candice and I have a 3 month old daughter. Her father from the moment he found out I was pregnant has said he wants nothing to do with me or his child. Has also sent me emails after she was born stating this again. He lives in England, his name is on her birth certificate and he pays child support. His parents don't know about her, I sent them a letter a few days ago. I am just wondering because his name is on her birth certificate does the give him or his grandparents any rights to see my daughter? And could I go for full custody so that I wouldn't have to worry about him ever trying to take her? (Even though he has made it clear he never wants to meet her) I just want to be safe and would rather have full custody.

Anyone been in a similar situation?

Im sorry but im not sure why you would send his parents a letter informing them they have a grandaughter if you dont want them to be part of her life or visit occassionally. And also why would you want to stop her grandparents being part of her life? its not as if they can just leave the country with her.

I understand your concern over this matter, he could demand parenting rights at anytime. Not sure why you would send his parents a letter though. However you need to keep an open mind that one day your child may want to make contact herself. I have sole parenting rights with my children as my ex doesnt want anything to do with them. I still made him see the children on numerous occasions as they were older (5 & 4). This continued until my boys said no more and refused to see him. I took him to court to sort everything out, he signed papers to say I have full parenting rights so I can make decisions for them, schooling etc. You can go to a family law lawyer and have these papers drawn up if that will give you peace of mind. Keep all correspondence from him to show he has made it clear on his position, however with the grandparents (I think) in Australia grandparents have no rights to grandchildren so that decision is up to you for contact. Just remember though they could be loving supportive grandparents for you and the child and if they are willing to come out and see you both then you could gauge what type of people they are.
I would seek out advice with a lawyer or legal aid to see where you stand and what you need to do.
Hope this helps
Leanne

Sorry musn't of been very clear about the grandparent situation. I have sent them a letter as I do want them to be in my daughters life, I just don't want them to try get rights to get custody of her, if that makes sense? I know it is highly unlikely to happen.

Sorry musn't of been very clear about the grandparent situation. I have sent them a letter as I do want them to be in my daughters life, I just don't want them to try get rights to get custody of her, if that makes sense? I know it is highly unlikely to happen.

i think its great that u want them to be apart of her life and obviously the father has made it clear he doesn't want anything to do with his child his parents may try to pressure him into part custody so that they have more rights i think for your peace of mind you should see the family law courts with any e-mails or letter or whatever correspondence you have from him just to be on the safe side you have done the rite thing by telling him and his parents about your little girl good luck..

Hi Candice, sorry to hear about your situation.

I'm in a similar prediciment myself although I am choosing to have nothing to do with the father of my unborn child or his family. He is violent, unpredictable and a delinquent and has been oustied (sp?) from our family from about week 12 of my pregnancy. I'm choosing not to have any contact or visitation from him mainly for the safety of my child and to protect myself. I'm not yet sure if I should name him on the birth certificate (still need to find out what rights he has aswell my own) and will be getting some legal advice about full custody. I absolutely loathe the idea of him being allowed to just 'show up' and play Daddy when he needs some gratification and just because the birth certificate has his name on it. Naming him would mean I would also have to get in contact, which I am not prepared to do and secondly, I have no idea where the hell he is.

I have abit of research to do as to what my rights are and what his obligations are regarding child support but I am confident I have the support of the right people around me and everyone will get what they deserve in the end. For me that means a happy, healthy, safe environment for my child and my family. And for him, it's looking like a prison cell the last I heard..........

I think it's good you contacted his parents as they have a right to know they are expecting a grandchild on his behalf. However I don't think you need to be worried about them trying to go for custody or demanding more rights, pretty sure they can't even do that unless something happens to you and means you are unable to look after your child. Do you have any sort of relationship with his parents? Are they on good terms with him? I think alot plays into the grandparents being apart of your childs life and at the end of the day, she is your child and you are doing what's best for her. Go with your gut and stick to your guns, Girl.

I hope something can be resolved for you and your daughter. Gosh, I am truely dreading the day when I have to deal with 'Baby Daddy' again. It really is much easier for me and my daughter to get on with our lives without a delinquent juvenile doing a half-ass job as father. Xxx

I would be looking into the child support issue as well am im pretty sure if you want him to hand over all his parenting rights etc then he may not have to pay anything, and then that would affect your centrelink payments as well.

Hi Candice,

I'm in the same boat, although had not considered full custody... and I think its a VERY good idea, I'll now be pursuing it also.

Legally Grandparents have to rights, so you dont need to worry about that however the father does as he is named on the birth certificate.
It is highly unlikely that he would be able to gain full custody although he could gain visitation rights, which could involve you having to cover any travel costs that might be involved for him.
Also If ever he started to have regular contact with your daughter he could make demands for it to continue ie you would be legally forced to move...(This is all coming from a lawyer I spoke to about my situation)
But like I said, I dont think its a worry for you, just good to be aware of risks.

I've managed to find alot of usfull information from the ministry of justice website, I hope it can be of help to you and your daughter too

http://www.justice.govt.nz/courts/family-court/what-family-court-does/care-of-children/guardianship

Best wishes X