My DS1 is down for a week to visit me with his dad.
For those of you that don't already know, my son lives with his dad in another state as has done since he was two due to my PND at the time that I left.
I don't know what to do with him! He doesn't eat. He'll get enthused about the upcoming meal then just sit and play with it and have a little nibble here and there and then declare that he hates it.
I have had a very rude awakening to his fathers idea of healthy aswell. I have been told constantly what a healthy eater he is and that they never have junk. Granted he'll go some cucumber, but he wont eat cheese unless it's 'plastic' and wont eat fresh berries "because they don't have sugar on them like we have at home". HUH??? And a myriad other things. Aaaaaargh. It's so sad listening to my son tell me that he hates it and we can just chuck it in the bin. "Dad just chucks it in the bin all the time". DF and I both grew up in poor families and to not eat your dinner was just not an option so we're both having a really hard time of this. I've tried all the 'tricks' I can think of (some kids don't have dinner, can't have dessert, no riding your bike if you don't finish etc etc) but it's met with the shrugging of shoulders by him and then his dad just tells him he can do what he likes "whatever you want mate".
He's also been taught that he can't lose. I tried playing snakes and ladders with him but as soon as I would get infront of him he'd throw a tantrum and quit playing. His dad just says to me "I told you he doesn't like to lose, you have to let him win", I finally snapped (calmly infront of the kids) at him and told him that if he doesn't start teaching his son that it is infact possible to lose games then his son is going to have a very miserable school life as EVERY child likes to win so it's best to teach him to lose graciously. I then made up a game that didn't involve winning or losing just luck no skill, pick a number on the dice then pick the number of how many times you think you'll have to roll it to get that number and see if it happens (I figured I could base it around luck and just do an "oh well, better luck next time" when it wasn't the right pick IYKWIM, a gentler way to see that 'losing' wasn't the end of the world), he was totally into it and after we'd been playing for ages his dad pipes up with "are you winning?" AAAAAAARRRRRGH!!
What a rave, thanks if you got this far! I guess it's turned out to be a massive vent. Any advice would be great.