What to do with SS

Hi there,
just wondering on what peoples opinions are on the following

i have a SS 6 years old and a DD 7 months old,
i have been in SS life since he was 2 and DP has him fortnightly wk ends and half of all school holidays, and everything has gone really well until i fell pregnant with DD.
SS has never been smart but since i had DD i have noticed more and more, im not sure if its my motherly instict but i believe that he is very behind other children his age. i believe that he has a developmental problem but his dad is too scared to tell his ex to get him checked out, like the time he asked her to get SS eyes checked and it took her 6 months to do it and turns out he is nearly blind. i am also very nervous about allowing him too close to DD as he has had violent tendencies and i am scared he may do something to hurt her, hence why i am scared to put her in her own room.
there is more but i would be here all night...
please help me, i am deperate for help
thanks

In terms of his development, can you speak to his class teacher yourself (or have your partner do it) rather than waiting for the ex? What about on a weekend when you have him - can you pick him up from school on the Friday and speak to the teacher before you leave?

Even though the ex is the primary carer for this child, your partner and you should absolutely have any information about his development, education, etc that you want. Has he ever brought a report card home from school - I guess they only get them annually at that age so not sure if he has been there long enough.

In terms of the violent tendencies - lots of children from blended families can exhibit this, it may be that he needs counselling or something. If you are not sure of where to turn I would suggest that you visit your GP and ask for guidance. If you are worried about him harming your daughter then you should absolutely feel free to do this yourself when you have him rather than waiting for the ex.

Now, all this sounds like I am suggesting that you go sneaking off and dealing with things behind the ex's back. But it's probably best if you do discuss it with her first and voice your concerns and how you would like to see them handled. But if you get no response, then feel free to deal with it yourself.