having trouble coping HELP!!!!

Im mainly deventing so here goes i have been with my new partner now just on 11 months and am at my tethers end. Between us we have 12 children ( he has 5 i have 7) i have 6 of my kids living with us one lives with his dad, however my partners children live with his ex who refuses to let him see his kids or even talk to him to organise a visit for him to be able to see his kids. however shes happy to pass the kids off to whoever else she can find while she goes out partying untill all hrs of the nights at least 3 times a week however if she needs anything done the first person she calls is him and he is getting better at saying no but then she turns it around and says if you wnt ur kids for a visit u will do so has him in her hand like putty he does then he still doesnt get to see his kids and im left to pick up the emotional pieces we have seek legal advice laywer suggested mediation which his ex is refusing to attend. the other problem we have is my controlling ex who sees his kids every weekend and sometimes during the week as well who is always btching that he doesn't see his kids enough not understanding that its an effort just to get them in to the car cause they really dont wnt to see him due to family voilence whilst we were together as a family So can anyone give advice on how to find a happy medium bcoz im going stir crazy trying to keep the peace from all sides of the fence HELP PLEASE

I'm not in that situation so can't help sorry, it must be really hard for you all,
I just wanted to say good on you for getting out of a bad situation for you and your kids they will appreciate it, you are a strong woman and you put your kids first you deserve a pat on the back!

Thanx for the support it means a lot it was the hardest thing i have ever done but did the right thing for the kids and myself it was really difficult as i really dont have any friends and any tht i did have pretty much dissapeared shortly after i left my ex but now we are really lucky that i have a new partner that supports us in so many ways we are really lucky we have someone that loves us for whom we are and doesnt think of us as walking atms and punching bags like my expartner did