Depressed husband

Just wondering if anyone has had any experience with their husband maybe being depressed? My husband has been saying things lately like he wishes we never had kids and just seems generally in a grumpy mood a lot.
We have recently been through a huge upheaval in our lives, moved from a country town back to the big city, away from my parents who were living next door and we did it by traveling for 3 months around Australia to get home. We have a 4 year old and 8 month old. The 4 yr old is a right handful at the moment which I feel is understandable considering what he's been through in the last few months, however he is still very difficult to deal with at times and my husband just can't deal with it and just yells at him. My 8 month old hasn't been sleeping well which has made me very sleep deprived and I have actually been having what the doctors diagnosed as panic attacks. I actually feel I may have mild PND but my doctor just asked if I feel depressed and when I said no she just left it at that. I am seeing her again tomorrow so will discuss it with her then.
I guess I just wanted to get that out and see if anyone has anything to say. I get very angry at my husband because he doesn't seem to want to help with the kids and I practically have to beg to get him to do anything. I guess maybe I could understand more if he was depressed. I have done a lot of reading on PND and can see some of the symptoms in him. Although I must add when the doctor told me I was having panic attacks and really needed to get some rest he didn't hesitate to help with the baby and started looking after him at night for which I am very grateful. Though it took a doctor to say it for him to believe I really was sick!
Thank you for reading, any advice would be appreciated.

My husband was diagnosed with depression about mid 2009. He had no motivation to do anything, was very forgetful and had trouble concentrating, was causing probs at work that others were noticing. He lost his temper easily. We had a 1 year old at that stage. Eventually he agreed to go to the Dr, she did some blood tests to rule out other things and asked him lots of questions. Eventually she came to the conclusion that we had already come to that it was depression.

Funny thing is it seems males often don't handle the diagnosis very well, she was very delicate about how she approached it with him. I think she was relieved when he said we already thought that was the case. He has been on meds at varying levels since then, he was feeling really good so weaned off them, but got worse, so had to up them to more then before. He is back to 1 per day and he is ok if he accidentally misses a day here and there.

I recommend getting him to go and talk to a Dr, if you think he may have depression. I did quiet a bit of research online about symptoms of depression and showed it to DH, he could see it was describing a lot of his symptoms which was what it took to convince him to go.

All the best for you and your family

Thank you, I have already spoken to my husband and he has actually agreed that maybe talking to someone might help. I am going to the doctor for me today so might ask her for some ideas. Hopefully he will actually go!

Thank you, I have already spoken to my husband and he has actually agreed that maybe talking to someone might help. I am going to the doctor for me today so might ask her for some ideas. Hopefully he will actually go!

I really hope he does go with you or that your Dr can give you the information. It's really hard for a man to admit he needs help. So good on him:)

Dh has suffered depression 3 times now.
Once before I met him, once after he got back from Iraq (army deployment), and once after DD came into our lives.

It's really important your DH at least sees the doc. Perhaps he should go in on his own? I know my DH felt more comfortable letting it all out when I wasn't there, especially after he got back form Iraq. Everyone's different though, and he may feel better if you are there.

Men do find it harder to admit there is a problem and that they aren't coping, and from my experience, they don't like their mates to know what's going on. Which is a huge shame, because I think if they all opened up a bit more, they'd find they aren't the only bloke feeling like that.

As for yourself, if you feel you need help, please insist on it. I suffered PND and didn't get help straight away. I felt embarrassed that I wasn't coping and didn't want to be seen as a failure. Getting help sooner rather than later is always best. If I'd gotten the help I needed sooner, I might've prevented a whole world of hurt for our family.

My friends husband suffered Depression and it caused them to separate for a small time. But basically he got on to his depression. They're back together and planning another baby. Since I have known them my friend told us he has depression and my husband knows, he didn't think anything of it. But he has supported me through 3 bouts of PND, so he understands how it works. I think if more people who speak out about depression in men the better, it would make life a whole lot easier for them.

As for yourself, if you feel you need help, please insist on it. I suffered PND and didn't get help straight away. I felt embarrassed that I wasn't coping and didn't want to be seen as a failure. Getting help sooner rather than later is always best. If I'd gotten the help I needed sooner, I might've prevented a whole world of hurt for our family.

I too didn't get help for a while the first time I had PND and felt the same way mum2keeli. The best thing I ever did was ask for help.

Hi, I just posted a thread about a similar problem. I am glad your husband had decided to get help. How did you manage to convince him?

same situation would happen with my boy friend...but now he is ok. Just motivate him to not to do silly thing.