How to lose friends in one conversation

I've been bursting out of my skin to share my exciting news with everyone - I told all of my close family and friends either face to face or over the phone that I was 3 months pregnant. When it came to telling work colleagues and other friends I sent them an email with a pic from the ultra sound - I thought this would be better than making a lot of phone calls. I've had a few replies but no one has called and I just feel like they don't have any excitement or really care. Is it because I didn't call them?

Most of my work colleagues who were really good friends are single and free so even when I got married last year I felt my relationship with most of them changed, but now that I'm pregnant I feel as though they'll never speak to me again. I'm still the same person - I don't understand what has changed.

My husband is very supportive and says that we have a great life to look forward to as we are moving in a few weeks and have each other and a baby on the way so not to let it concern me, but I've always had lots of friends so I'm finding it difficult to understand why it's happening. My dad recently said to me 'you only need one best friend in your life - & mine is my wife' incredibly sweet coming from my father who always try's to act so manly! But again I feel like I need people around me.

I guess my life is about to change in lots of ways and I'll have less and less time for them soon enough anyway. Does anyone have experience with maintaining friendships with friends who aren't married and don't have kids - or should I just move on and try to meet new people who are in more similar circumstances to myself and my husband?

Any advice would be great
Thanks

I've been bursting out of my skin to share my exciting news with everyone - I told all of my close family and friends either face to face or over the phone that I was 3 months pregnant. When it came to telling work colleagues and other friends I sent them an email with a pic from the ultra sound - I thought this would be better than making a lot of phone calls. I've had a few replies but no one has called and I just feel like they don't have any excitement or really care. Is it because I didn't call them?

Most of my work colleagues who were really good friends are single and free so even when I got married last year I felt my relationship with most of them changed, but now that I'm pregnant I feel as though they'll never speak to me again. I'm still the same person - I don't understand what has changed.

My husband is very supportive and says that we have a great life to look forward to as we are moving in a few weeks and have each other and a baby on the way so not to let it concern me, but I've always had lots of friends so I'm finding it difficult to understand why it's happening. My dad recently said to me 'you only need one best friend in your life - & mine is my wife' incredibly sweet coming from my father who always try's to act so manly! But again I feel like I need people around me.

I guess my life is about to change in lots of ways and I'll have less and less time for them soon enough anyway. Does anyone have experience with maintaining friendships with friends who aren't married and don't have kids - or should I just move on and try to meet new people who are in more similar circumstances to myself and my husband?

Any advice would be great
Thanks

i know exactly what you mean, before i started dating my now partner everything seem so perfect had the most bestest friends totally loving life and still do, then met my partner and everyone who was single just like seemed like they avoided me :/ and then i lost a whole bunch of friends when i had my beautiful boy,

i think after everything that happens in your life, that if they were real friends they'd stick by you and through everything. obviously there not reals then. my opinion which you can just take in is find some friends and people who are in the same boat as you atleast then we all understand eachother and have the similar things in common then single people have no kids they always no clue what im talking about lol

i hope everything works out for you and your decision is based on what you want
CONGRATULATIONS by the way <span class="emoticon grin">grin</span> <span class="emoticon grin">grin</span>
xxx

I'm sorry to say, it seems to be just a course of nature! When I met my DH and started to become a full time mum to my SS, most of my single friends started to fade away. I guess they couldn't understand why the old me would be up for anything at a moments notice and the new me had to check with my in laws or DH whenever I wanted to go anywhere, as my SS was around 3 at the time and I was expected to be with him all the time as my DH was a chef and worked nights.
Than I got married the year after and any stragglers were scared off by the fact I was now tied down even further!
I always assumed my best friend, since primary school would always be there though, and when I fell pregnant in 2008 I even asked her to be godmother and she seemed so excited I was having my own baby. We were even maid of honours at each others weddings!
As soon as he was born, she started to drift too, taking ages to return phone calls and texts, and whenever she invited me anywhere it was at night when she knew I couldnt go as I was breastfeeding on demand. When I tried organizing her to come over to my place or day time outings, she always turned me down.
Now, after about a year or so I realized she had only seen my son about 3 times so I knew our friendship was dead. It just happens I guess, when the foundations of the friendship weren't that strong to begin with and their heart isn't in it anymore.
Also, you're not on the same page as these people anymore, your DH is right when he said it just you, him and bubby now as family unit! That's what it most important, and you will meet new people along the way, such as other first time mummies at antenatal classes and mothers groups.
That's whatbi did, and now have some lovely friends all with kids!

i know exactly what you mean, before i started dating my now partner everything seem so perfect had the most bestest friends totally loving life and still do, then met my partner and everyone who was single just like seemed like they avoided me :/ and then i lost a whole bunch of friends when i had my beautiful boy,

i think after everything that happens in your life, that if they were real friends they'd stick by you and through everything. obviously there not reals then. my opinion which you can just take in is find some friends and people who are in the same boat as you atleast then we all understand eachother and have the similar things in common then single people have no kids they always no clue what im talking about lol

i hope everything works out for you and your decision is based on what you want
CONGRATULATIONS by the way <span class="emoticon grin">grin</span> <span class="emoticon grin">grin</span>
xxx

Thanks so much I had a tear in my eye reading the replies as I finally feel like I'm understood when other mums have been through the same thing <span class="emoticon smile">smile</span> I think you're totally right about 'real friends' as let's face it these days you can probably only count them on one hand. I'm just so grateful I've got my hubby and a very loving family.

I'm sorry to say, it seems to be just a course of nature! When I met my DH and started to become a full time mum to my SS, most of my single friends started to fade away. I guess they couldn't understand why the old me would be up for anything at a moments notice and the new me had to check with my in laws or DH whenever I wanted to go anywhere, as my SS was around 3 at the time and I was expected to be with him all the time as my DH was a chef and worked nights.
Than I got married the year after and any stragglers were scared off by the fact I was now tied down even further!
I always assumed my best friend, since primary school would always be there though, and when I fell pregnant in 2008 I even asked her to be godmother and she seemed so excited I was having my own baby. We were even maid of honours at each others weddings!
As soon as he was born, she started to drift too, taking ages to return phone calls and texts, and whenever she invited me anywhere it was at night when she knew I couldnt go as I was breastfeeding on demand. When I tried organizing her to come over to my place or day time outings, she always turned me down.
Now, after about a year or so I realized she had only seen my son about 3 times so I knew our friendship was dead. It just happens I guess, when the foundations of the friendship weren't that strong to begin with and their heart isn't in it anymore.
Also, you're not on the same page as these people anymore, your DH is right when he said it just you, him and bubby now as family unit! That's what it most important, and you will meet new people along the way, such as other first time mummies at antenatal classes and mothers groups.
That's whatbi did, and now have some lovely friends all with kids!

Thanks so much for your advice. It's great speaking to other mums who understand smile I hope that I can meet some first time mums in mothers groups in the area we are moving too I think that will make a huge difference. I knew things were chaining since I got married, but I was hoping & trying to think it might change but just like your friend I also have some I've only seen maybe 3 times since the wedding so I think they've already drifted unfortunately. I'm very thankful to have a great hubby and loving families.

Hi there smile

I haven't read any of the other post, but first and foremost i wanna congratulate you! Exciting times to come!

Like you, i always have had people around me.
My pregnancy has made me realize just who my friends are.

I lost almost all of my friends. Even the person who i thought was my best friend, is now not as close to me. People who are not married or even in a committed relationship find it hard to relate to someone who is, and the same goes with pregnancy.

I don't believe you will be alone forever. Now that you are having a baby, you will make new mum friends, people you have more in common with, and you will realize that leaving people behind while you move forward in life is a really good move. I still have friends who don't have kids, that go out etc. But we have the friendship that if i don't make it to dinner or don't wanna go out shopping because i have been up all night, then it isn't a big deal. It is important that they respect and understand that your life has changed for the better, and you have responsibitly(sp) now.

Don't look at this pregnancy as an burdern, because people won't talk to you anymore. Look at is a new chapter in your life. People will forever be coming and going in your life.

Good luck

Hi there smile

I haven't read any of the other post, but first and foremost i wanna congratulate you! Exciting times to come!

Like you, i always have had people around me.
My pregnancy has made me realize just who my friends are.

I lost almost all of my friends. Even the person who i thought was my best friend, is now not as close to me. People who are not married or even in a committed relationship find it hard to relate to someone who is, and the same goes with pregnancy.

I don't believe you will be alone forever. Now that you are having a baby, you will make new mum friends, people you have more in common with, and you will realize that leaving people behind while you move forward in life is a really good move. I still have friends who don't have kids, that go out etc. But we have the friendship that if i don't make it to dinner or don't wanna go out shopping because i have been up all night, then it isn't a big deal. It is important that they respect and understand that your life has changed for the better, and you have responsibitly(sp) now.

Don't look at this pregnancy as an burdern, because people won't talk to you anymore. Look at is a new chapter in your life. People will forever be coming and going in your life.

Good luck

Thanks all the comments have made me feel so much better smile you're so right in some ways I was thinking I had a burden on my shoulders but that's ridiculous I have an amazing thing happening I'm creating new life from now on I'm going to be excited about it even if not everyone feels my excitement and joy. It's so true to that people do come and go in your life. Thanks again

Thanks all the comments have made me feel so much better smile you're so right in some ways I was thinking I had a burden on my shoulders but that's ridiculous I have an amazing thing happening I'm creating new life from now on I'm going to be excited about it even if not everyone feels my excitement and joy. It's so true to that people do come and go in your life. Thanks again

Glad to help smile

It's great that you feel better. You learn to understand that you can't please everyone, so just go and please yourself, and your family!
The people who love you and accept this beautiful time in your life will stick smile
I couldn't imagine being sad at such a special time!!

I can say that i have 6 REAL best friends :
My DF
My 2 sisters - who both have kids
My step mum
My 2 friends who have stuck.

I have a coffee group with mums i did my antenatal course with. I see them ans their bubbas every Tuesday smile And then i have my "friends" that don't have kids, but understand that life with children, work, etc is busy. I see them at least once a month, but always text, talk on facebook etc pretty much everyday.

Thanks so much I had a tear in my eye reading the replies as I finally feel like I'm understood when other mums have been through the same thing I think you're totally right about 'real friends' as let's face it these days you can probably only count them on one hand. I'm just so grateful I've got my hubby and a very loving family.

<span class="emoticon smile">smile</span> aww make me feel sad too but when your little bub comes along their not worth the thought of worrying. and they dont understand how much those people are so important in our lives. i always say id rather have a little close nit of friends then a whole bunch of fake ones. <span class="emoticon smile">smile</span>

but all the best xxx

Their loss smile Enjoy your family and you will realise who is worth having in your life, even if it is just the 3 of you.

Just try and make your life revolve around your family and you will make new friends. Join coffee groups once baby is born. If you hear of a friend of a friend who is also pregnant, get in touch with them. They might be feeling the same as you.

And work friends don't have to be single to make good friends. I have continued a friendship from my work before having DS. She is 2o years older than me, married, teenage, kids, house, etc. But we just have an amazing relationship that takes no work - even before I had DS.

Open your mind up to everyone as a possible friend.