I dont want to go thru this again

I had PND with my first baby, gave up breastfeeding as i hated it. and after a terrible first year i still havent bonded with my daughter, as terrible as it sounds i cant even hug or kiss her without it feeling wrong.

With my 2nd bub it was amazing! i was so happy. breastfed for 6months and loved it! i so enjoyed been a mum to him.

3rd time around. different partner, i found the pregnancy a struggle, then the birth was fast and i would say it was easy but kinda scary been my first drug free birth. but this baby it totally different. so hard!!! he constantly crys or screams day and night, he wont go to anyone else. im starting to feel really down. all these people i know are having their first babies and are enjoying it so much. meanwhile im here struggling with my 3rd, im jealous.

im constantly tired, grumpy and feel like im going to cry all the time. I love breastfeeding but at the moment i feel like i should just give it up then maybe he might be a happier baby. I Have no family help and it would be pointless anyway because no1 can take care of my lil man. my partner cant even give him a bottle, he will just scream until i take him.

I hate been a housewife, i hate cooking, cleaning and doing the washing. I just dont know what to do anymore.

*hugs* I know how you feel. I went through this with bubs number 2... had a heap of trouble feeding and he has reflux (still has it at 6.5 months) and first few months were a nightmare.

Keep your head high and know that one day soon bubs is going to start playing and sleeping better through night. I still have my moments when I'm super tired of feeling like absolute crap about it but have more good days than bad.

Thanks, I know it will get better, im constantly reminding myself that but sometimes its hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel when ive got a baby screaming in my ear at 3am.

i can totaly related to what you have posted i also hate Bfeeding and an not at all looking forward to doing it although i will try to again.i had PND with the 1st did nothing about it. with with second i finally went on meds after a few months . im now preg with #3 i and seeing a psychiatrist through out my pregnancy and will do after i do suffer from depresion and have stayed on meds though my pregnancy and will up my dosage if i have to after baby is born. anyways i think u should go talk to your doctor and get some help there is no shame in seeking help no in taking meds i wish you all the best dont give up there is help out there

At the moment i am kinda fighting with myself. i know i should go to the doctors to do something about it but at the same time i half think, if i just smile and dont say anything about it then i can pretend its not a problem. Ignorance is bliss. I know it doesnt work like that. i just wish it did.

At the moment i am kinda fighting with myself. i know i should go to the doctors to do something about it but at the same time i half think, if i just smile and dont say anything about it then i can pretend its not a problem. Ignorance is bliss. I know it doesnt work like that. i just wish it did.

Please take a look at our links to support groups in the community. They may provide you with a good starting point.

Take care <span class="emoticon smile">smile</span>

Hi princess I really get what you are saying. I put a big smile on for years.....and it didn't help at all.

I finally went to the doctors. Yes I am on antidepressants, which I know some view as intrusive. But I am now in control of my emotions, I don't get so worked up and upset about little things. I avoided going for so long, but really, really wish that I had not waited so long.
It is also a relief to know that the doctor will now carefully monitor me for PND this time as I am at increased risk, and may need different antidepressants.