But sadly this isn't the case. My 2nd bub is now 12weeks old & although she doesn't scream, she also doesn't sleep much, and doesn't feed very well. On top of this I also have a very demanding 2&1/2 yr old on my hands. I guess I am feeling a big ripped off, I thought I was doing everything right with #2 to avoid these problems, ie. starting a routine from early days, putting her to sleep in her bed only etc but she is still so difficult. She doesn't sleep over 1 cycle & often only 20mins at a time. At night she used to be great & sleep 7:30-4 then back to sleep til 7 but now that is out the window too & I am up most days from 3am or earlier. I was coping ok until her sleep got worse at night, & I think exhaustion is compounding the way I think about it.
I desperately wanted to bf her & struggled with it for 2 months before giving up, I am so sad about it, and feel like such a failure. She now fusses on bottles instead!
I am so lucky to have a husband who is home by 5 most days & my parents live close by but I still struggle so much. I then feel so silly that I feel this way cuz I have so much support around me, and 2 beautiful healthy kids but I just can't stand it. The thing is, I have to put up with it cuz what choice doG I have? I then find myself dropping 1 or the other of them to my mum most days cuz I can't cope, then I just feel terribly guilty for doing that! I also feel like my husband does not understand the way I feel, & is jut constantly disappointed in me for not being able to cope.
I feel like I have to make an effort to enjoy my beautiful children, and it should just come naturally, most of the last few days all I have wanted to do is hide in my room & cry, but of course I can't! I find myself cringing when I hear one of them wake up in the morning cuz I just want this phase to be over! I just constantly feel on edge, angry (maybe at my husband for wanting a2nd baby, at myself for not being able to cope, at my 2yr old for being high maintenance, and at god for giving me another baby that is so difficult), and guilty. Please tell me this will pass soon.