Feeling so lost...

hi mummies and daddies..
my DD is 4months old.. and ever since shes been about 4weeks ive been feeling increadably down.. sad
i live in south brisbane with DD and my partner.. we moved here from newcastle about 2years ago and have absolutly NO-ONE up here.
i tried mummies groups to make friends but found they were far too hard to get too and the mum's in them were exactly open to new friends as they already had their own lil clicks.
i dont have my licence (im working on it) so cant go far at all..
all my so called friends have all turned their backs on me since having bub, i try so hard to stay in contact but they never reply to me..
my partner works 60hours a week so between working and bub we barely get an hour together...
im just so lost atm and dont know how to help myself anymore..
am i the only one...?
:'-(

Hi there.
I just read your post and i thought "i dont remember writing this". It sounds exactly the same as me. My partner and i moved from shepparton VIC to mildura about 2 years ago. I have no family or friends what-so-ever, my partners mother lives here but she doesnt have respect for anyone so i cant talk to her. It sucked moving up here coz i was really close to my twin sister.
Im about to try mummies group next week and im not sure how well its going to go ahh!!
haha i only just got my licence too..
My partner also works long hours too put food on the table for us and we dont get much time to talk or even a little kiss.
I feel very alone at the moment. When my mum came up i cried the whole time coz i didnt want her to leave lol!!
to be honest.. im glad u posted this cos i kinda feellike im also not alone.
smile

im so glad u replied! seems like topics like this get lost amongst all the all dribble sometimes..
i feel like such a bad mum for feeling like this all the time, but no matter what ive tried i always feel down sad
i hate it..
im sick of constantly feeling like an outcast simply because i have a baby.. even my friends with babies no longer have time for me.

unless you get a good mothers group, they usually make u feel even worse because alot of the other mothers have an existing friendship.. and they dont usually open up to others.. good luck with yours, i hope you do make new friends and the other girls are really nice smile

i feel evn worse for my partner.. he always bares the brunt of my sadness, and yet he's so supportive and loving. i guess i got that one right..

thanks for listening to all my venting lol

Hi! Sorry to hear your feeling like this! Do you get out of the house much just you and bubs? I would try just going for a walk everyday smile (if your not already) just to get out of the house can be great!! Lol do you have a Child and Family Health Service where you are? You could speak too someone there and see what they suggest?

Hope things get better soon!!

its pretty isolating being at home with a new baby especially if you are in a new place or don't really have a supportive network around you.

All I can suggest is keep trying with the mums groups, yes it isn't as nice when there are already friendships existing and you can feel like an outsider but there might be someone there who feels the same as you do. I had that situation with my old mothers group, two of the ladies already knew each other and were quite close but I found I had more in common with the others anyway. In my new town unfortunately there doesn't really seem to be that kind of thing organised which is sad but oh well!

Otherwise I would suggest getting out and doing something for yourself without bubs, like a part time job just something like 5 hours a week. Will help you meet new people and maybe feel more your own person again. Thats what I'm trying to do anyway lol kinda hard in my area there isn't much around but I'm going to keep trying. Even if you can just duck out for half an hour a week and leave bubs with DP to have a coffee with an old friend or even by yourself and read the paper. Makes you feel really refreshed smile

OP I think maybe you should go and chat to your GP, you could be suffering from PND and even just talking to a professional about your feelings might help.

i used to go for a walk everyday with my LO but she's been teething very bad lately and she doesnt enjoy it at the moment... sad
i cant get to my child and Family Health Service, its so far away and when they are open my OH is at work..
im stuck between a rock and a hard place i guess..

Thanks so much for the suggestions smile

I moved back to my home town a year before my DD was born and found that most of my old friends had moved away or moved on. I started to feel very isolated and alone with my DD at home all day.

I persisted with the mothers group. But not just one, I found a couple until I was comfortable with the ladies that were there. I took my daughter to swimming lessons from six months and met some more ladies there. I joined the playgroup association and the ABA (Australian Breast Feeding Association) and again, found other mums like me. My local library has a nursery rhyme and song session for babies that I also used to go to. I found that I just had to get out there and force myself to smile and meet people, and before I knew it I was making new friendships.

It is hard when you don't drive, but there is sure to be things closer by if you look hard and sometimes you need to make the effort to catch a bus or get a taxi. Spread yourself around! You'll get there, it is confronting to 'put yourself out there' but it's worth it.

Dont feel like a bad mum.. trust me plenty of other mums feel the same but they just wont say it..i hate that people look an treat u diff just coz we have babies..its a cruel world.

I was told that the mothers group i was in was majority older women and im only 21 so i no im going to be left out abit but ill go an check it out anyway..then i can say i tried.

That should make you feel good, that even though ur down at the moment ur partner is there for u.. i say "as long as u have the ppl that do love u, around u, then thats all that matters" an if its just bub and ur partner atm then thats enough..thats all iv got and im comming to terms that thats good enough for me.

Keep ur head up, you sound like a really sweet person..u were brave enough to post in the first place that u were struggling..so id say its only gonna go up from here for u!!
smile grin

I think all the ideas that have been posted are worth thinking about but thought I would add too! Maybe just give the family service office a call - they might be able to put you in touch with a mothers group close to you or give you some other ideas. I think they can sometimes do home visits too (not sure how often/how to organise it but for my first check up the nurse came to our place so it is possible!)

You can also have a look on the council website and see if there are any kiddie friendly things going on in your area, sometimes they have exercise groups (pram ones) in the local parks and things like that.

Agree it might be worth touching base with your GP too, just so there are some other eyes looking out for you.
Hope things start looking up.

Totally understand how you are feeling. You should go to meetup.com & join a group called mums in Brisbane. There is about 400 members so they organism meetups in different areas of Brisbane for different age bubs. They're a very open and supportive group. smile

thankyou so much everyone!! it makes me feel 100% better knowing im not the only one going through this..
thanks for all the suggestions and i'll definatly be following it all up

M.