Whenever I force myself to meet a friend with taking baby I get sick and all the eclampsia symptoms come back like high blood pressure, high temp of 38degrees and flashing lights, spots and terrible headaches that wont go and post partum eclampsia symptoms are the same as pre eclampsia. so all of it is circumstantial depression you know? so all of the sickness and pressure is adding to it, I am also not eating due to being depressed and having an eating disorder I want to lose the massive 30kilos I gained but only lost ten so far due to losing the fluid from having baby but my hands have not gone down swelling wise, my ankles have finally gone down but not my fat fingers :/ and to top it off my baby girl has colic and constipation and needs expensive remedies which we cannot afford since husband has no job. the infacol is cheap and works great for colic but not for constipation but the rhugar which does work is 40 dollars and it was not working for colic so we do need both. I feel guilty as she was three weeks early and small and I think its my fault I cannot breast feed or look after her more
my husband and parents do the bulk of the work and she does know i am her mummy but i cannot look after her as much as i would like and that brings on the guilt :/
what can I do?
I am on the highest amount of medication for my particular antidepressant that I can be on and an anti anxiety medication (clonazepam, stronger than diazepam) and still get the depressive feelings :/ when will things get better mentally???