SIL having prem now!

Hi ladies,

My SIL to whom I am quite close went into premature labour yesterday at 32wks. They have given bubs steriods for the lungs and have been trying to stop labour. However, today they have decided to let bub come as he is getting distressed and they have been unable to stop dilation.

I went to visit her in the birth suite this morning and was very positive and tried to keep her distracted by talking about other things.

What I would like to know from other mothers of premmie's is what things did you find helpful and how best can I be supportive of her and the current events?

What interventions are likely to happen to a bub born at 32wks?

What should I or shouldn't I say?

thanks in advance.

Hi,

I didnt have a premmie baby but my SIL had her DS at 29 weeks.

I think the best thing you can do is just be there to offer her support. The hardest thing for my SIL was going home while her DS was still in hospital. She had a C/S so we offered to drive her up to the hospital. We also cooked meals for her and her DF so at the time of stress and worry they were looking after themselves.

We also brought her some premmie clothes and a special teddy that he was allowed to have in his cot.

Sorry your SIL is going through this, it is so worrying and draining for everyone involved.

I will pray that all goes well.

Bek smile

what a stressful time.

I agree - just be there for support. Ask her what you could do for her - there may be something in particular that she wants/needs but doesnt want to bother anyone else with it. The meals are the best thing ever. Friends of ours did that for us when we went 5 weeks early & it made life so much easier - didnt have to think about food, just pulled it out & heated it up. We even took it into the hospital & heated it there on occasion.
It is really nice too if you were able to go over to their place & clean up for them, do the washing that sort of stuff, cause obviously this was unexpected & it is nice knowing that you will eventually be coming home to a nice clean place instead of worrying about how much washing is piling up.

Keep all conversations as normal as possible. She is well & truely at the gestation that everything should be ok - modern intervention is an amazing thing these days. Our premmie was in a humidicrib for a few days & then out on his own - he was big & strong for 35/6 weeks, so we were very lucky.

My everything will be crossed that it all goes smoothly. You are such an amazing friend too! wub

I haven't had exactly premmies the twins were born at 37 weeks, were smallish and I needed steroids shots we were touch and go with prem labour though.
I think a special keep sake gift something from the jewelers like a silver birth certificate holder I got these and there my most treasured gift as you have them forever.
Be there for a shoulder to cry on she will more then likely be going threw a roller coaster of emotions your a lovely sil she is indeed lucky to have you I hope everything goes well for your family and bubs xxxx

Hi,

My DD wasn't prem but was extremely sick at birth - we nearly lost her. We found that all we wanted from people whilst we were at the hospital was a sms (or phone call from close family/friends) to let us know they were thinking of us. When we had to leave her at the hospital and go home, having meals sorted for us and the house clean was a blessing.

We were fortunate enough to be spoken to by some of the volunteers from Miracle Babies Foundation. I strongly suggest having a look at their website - http://www.miraclebabies.org.au. It will be useful to you, as it has a section for family & friends of NICU bubs, but your SIL may find it useful when she gets home.

Best of luck to them.

Hi,
I went preterm at 32 weeks but we managed to hold him off till 34 weeks. The injections should help his lungs as long as they were in her system for more then 3 hours.
It really depands on how bub goes when they arrive. Some need more help then others. My son was in the special care nursery for 19 days. Humiddi for 3 full days b4 we got a cuddle.
Its very hard when you cant hold your baby and harder when you leaven them in the hospital to go home.
I felt robbed of my "happy hospital moments" We didnt get many ppl visit as they knew we were under a lot of stress. But i found this made me more upset as i would see the other ladies have a lot of ppl in and out.
I also found i could only sit and watch him in the humiddi for a few hours b4 i would get too upset and have to leave the scn for a while. This would have been when ppl visiting would have been nice to take my mind off things.
If there is anyone that can help out at home thats always nice, i would spend 12 hours a day at the hospital after a c-section and found it hard to keep up with things at home as well.
Let us know how things go.... fingers crossed everything is all good smile
Kirsty

my twins are 4 weeks old now and spent 18 days in NICU....they were born at 35+5.

Things to do to help is ask how their progress is, not what effects they will have later one. And dont forget to ask her how she is and how her partner is doing.

Offer lifts to the hospital and to pick them up later on....paying for parking and petrol can become a nightmare.

Offer to do their washing or any other house hold jobs, if shes planning on breastfeeding she will be up expressing alot during the night and wont have the energy for any cleaning.

When you cook dinner for your family, make a little extra so she can take it to the hospital with her for lunch/dinner....she will spend alot of time in hospital next to her wee ones side.

I had my boy at 34 weeks. And i found personally the best thing you can do is if visiting make sure you ring to see if its ok, and if bub is having a bad day dont go visiting even if they say its ok, they wont feel like entertaining you if bub is having a downer day. There will be good days and bad days for her.
To me i did not feel like visitors cause i had to express etc but i had my partner with me all the time so i had someone to talk to.

My sil however wanted visitors because she was bored but my brother was working aswell so she did not have many people to talk too and she like to talk alot. So i guess you know her better and will judge whats best.
Dont try to distract about what happened talk about how bub is going and maybe you can point out how well bub has improved keeping her hopes up.
Even though my ds was in hospital for 4 weeks shes going to be in for longer. after a couple of weeks ask her if she would like to come for a drive to a shopping centre it was the best thing for me just to see the world outside of a hospital is uplifting.

I haven't had premies, but know of a few women who have. Do some research on kangaroo care and take her as much info as you can. Unfortunately most hospitals don't seem to have adopted this practise for premies so she'll need to push for every bit of time to hold her baby, but the benefits for her baby are worth it, not to mention the bonding time she'll get too. Hope her wee one is okay and home soon.

Thanks so much for the replies and support. She is still in labour after 3 days! They have decided that they cannot halt the labour so they are not giving her anymore drugs but they don't want to do anything to induce labour or make it faster - obviously the longer bub is in, the better. Unbelievably, her grandmother died this morning - talk about everything happening at once!

In the meantime I feel like I need to do something to help so I am keeping up the visits (when she wants/needs them). I have found all the 0000 clothes that I used for my boys and have sent them in...the midwife said that the baby would be wearing a 000 but my 9 pound, full term bub was wearing 0000, so I thought that giving her some of my boys clothes were better than nothing.

I'm in the process of making a care package full of little samples for her and bub to try after it has been born. I know that she may not be able to use them initially but she doesn't have any of that stuff organised yet, so I thought in the long run it may help.

She is planning her wedding so I got her stuff to look at for that (it might just take her mind off what is happening for a little while)...

I think that until bub is actually born that is the most I can do. I'll keep you posted re what happens. Here's hoping for her sake it doesn't drag on too long.

I had my boy at 34 weeks. And i found personally the best thing you can do is if visiting make sure you ring to see if its ok, and if bub is having a bad day dont go visiting even if they say its ok, they wont feel like entertaining you if bub is having a downer day. There will be good days and bad days for her.
To me i did not feel like visitors cause i had to express etc but i had my partner with me all the time so i had someone to talk to.

My sil however wanted visitors because she was bored but my brother was working aswell so she did not have many people to talk too and she like to talk alot. So i guess you know her better and will judge whats best.
Dont try to distract about what happened talk about how bub is going and maybe you can point out how well bub has improved keeping her hopes up.
Even though my ds was in hospital for 4 weeks shes going to be in for longer. after a couple of weeks ask her if she would like to come for a drive to a shopping centre it was the best thing for me just to see the world outside of a hospital is uplifting.

Great ideas, thanks for those.

my twins are 4 weeks old now and spent 18 days in NICU....they were born at 35+5.

Things to do to help is ask how their progress is, not what effects they will have later one. And dont forget to ask her how she is and how her partner is doing.

Offer lifts to the hospital and to pick them up later on....paying for parking and petrol can become a nightmare.

Offer to do their washing or any other house hold jobs, if shes planning on breastfeeding she will be up expressing alot during the night and wont have the energy for any cleaning.

When you cook dinner for your family, make a little extra so she can take it to the hospital with her for lunch/dinner....she will spend alot of time in hospital next to her wee ones side.

I hadn't even thought about long term effects....I'm really just worried about the here and now - how they are both coping.

I always ask Dad how he is. I think it is often the case that the men get forgotten about in moments like these...he looked so drawn and stressed.

Will definately offer to do cleaning etc once bub is born and Dad is up there the whole time too.