DP not coping

Its not like i ask him to do much, he works early shifts and i have never asked him to get up in the middle of the night to get our 3week old DD. All i ask him is to look after me so it filters down and i can look after her better myself.

But he has been havin trouble dealing with the newborn and instead of talkin to me or anything like that he is drinking heavily and stressing me out even more.

Anyones elses partner/husbands have trouble adjusting like this, does it get better? Wat can i do to help him out?

Hi
Sorry to hear you are stressed and your DP is not coping. I found my DH spent most of the time after work in his shed playing with his motorbike!! I guess that is better then drinking.

After about 4-6 weeks the newborn seems to settle, starts to become more aware and interactive with those around her.Once the partner sees this happening they start to play. Before too long I found DH looked forward to coming home from work. NOW it is a full on rummble session with DS( he is 14 months)

A new baby is a massive adjustment to all of us. The partners can feel many emotions from jelousy to feeling inadequate and helpless.

Now when I laugh about how I felt back then he just says he didn't know how to deal with bub crying and waking through the night.I guess he was avoiding the emotions. He did step up and do the shopping and cook sometimes. I spose I was a bit over reacting as my hormones tried to level out.

You must talk to him about your feellings. If you havn't been good communicators Now is the time to start cause there is lots of issues coming your way now with a family.

men can also get PND. you may need to disscuss this with him or you docter/ clinic nurse if you feel this may be the case.

I hope I have helped and not confused you more. I can say it does get better!

hey
i hve a 3month old and she is a very fussy baby , oonly laikes to be held like this has to eat every 2 hrs ect,, so she cries alot and my DP, , just cant handle the crying it frustrates the hell out of him i would stress to leave my DD with him to go acros the road 2 get some milk becuaese i didnt want him to get all upset and feel like he couldnt calm his own daughter,, he sometimes raises his voice in frustration with upset me but i have let him kno how i feel and hes called up a few councelling practices so hopefully he gets a bit better but even so with time ive seen him improve with her and controlling his own emotions , some men can only just deal with babies wen they cn tell them wat they want i guess LOL so only anothr hmmm year or so ... haha
good luick i hope things r getting better for u

Hi
Sorry to hear you are stressed and your DP is not coping. I found my DH spent most of the time after work in his shed playing with his motorbike!! I guess that is better then drinking.

After about 4-6 weeks the newborn seems to settle, starts to become more aware and interactive with those around her.Once the partner sees this happening they start to play. Before too long I found DH looked forward to coming home from work. NOW it is a full on rummble session with DS( he is 14 months)

A new baby is a massive adjustment to all of us. The partners can feel many emotions from jelousy to feeling inadequate and helpless.

Now when I laugh about how I felt back then he just says he didn't know how to deal with bub crying and waking through the night.I guess he was avoiding the emotions. He did step up and do the shopping and cook sometimes. I spose I was a bit over reacting as my hormones tried to level out.

You must talk to him about your feellings. If you havn't been good communicators Now is the time to start cause there is lots of issues coming your way now with a family.

men can also get PND. you may need to disscuss this with him or you docter/ clinic nurse if you feel this may be the case.

I hope I have helped and not confused you more. I can say it does get better!

great reply. my dh bought a track bike and went racing 2 months before and the following year when ds arrived. home from work and out to the shed! he is now great with ds. plays and looks forward to weekends with him.

bub #2 hs just arrived and dh hardly talks, nursesor interacts with her.

it is a man thing.
i think also he was more traumatised by the birth than me!!

give him time.he will grow to love your bub.

thank god for this thread it is so good to know im not alone..
my partner doesnt drink but it one who comes home and goes straight to the shed, we have a very mellow baby who hardly even cries and he still shows hardly any interest in picking her up...not to mention he cant cook!!! all i ask is he do the dishes or vaccuuming and myabe hold her while i do dinner but by the time i turn around he has put her in the pram and jumped on trademe... its so frustrating, people seem to say that the dads get better once the bubbas get bigger so lets hope this is true. x