I've been reading all the posts about the new dads not doing so well and here is my advise for those who are pregnant.
Me and my partner have a 3 yr old daughter. We got married when she was 18 months old. We were both excited that i was pregnant. We talked right from the start about what our roles were going to be and worked to our strenghts. At first my DP wanted me to work all the way up and for me to go straight back to full-time work. At that stage we had agreed on one child. For about 1 month, i didn't say anything, until my pregnancy hormones kicked in and i got all upset. I told him that i didn't want to miss out my only baby. And our plans changed. We both went to all the scans and the midwife appointments. We discussed that we would be bottle feeding. My DP is a night owl and im someone who needs my 8 hrs sleep (otherwise i am a cranky pants). So we discussed that he would take night shift and i would take day shift. He was also working for his family. So his help on night shift was muchly appriecanted. (i would wake and help too, if i could). We chose to bottle feed for the convience (and health reasons ie. knowing exactly how much bubby drank and knowing that bubs what getting all the vitamins, etc) and the fact that it could help share the roles straight away.
Communication is the key.... You need to start this from day one... Always express yourself... No matter how silly you think your concern is.
I communicated with him, that i was unsure that one child was enough, and we agreed on having a second.
Our roles have changed now. I work full-time and im pregnant with our second due in october. My partner stopped working with his family as it was very frustrating curcumstances. (we communcated about that as well) i fully supported him giving up work, even though that ment tight, tight budget. He knows that it is now his job to do the housework, and sometimes dinner. (i do dinner most nights if i finish work on time, but if i finish late, i don't want to cook. I also do the toilet as he doesn't, and of course on weekends i get in my own cleaning mood, but he keeps the house tidy and does the laundry, dishes etc) He loves his daughter lot and lots. We have also discussed what it means when its time for me to take maternity leave and also when we think will be the best time for me to return.
Overall, we work as a team, we always communicate. And we know where each other stands.
Support your partner if he's unsure of what he's doing. Appriecate what he does for you and show that to him. Try not to overlook him when he's changing bub, and let him communicate with bubby (ie. be silly with bubs).
Also... got to discuss how you want to raise your child and what disapline avenues you wish to take. Back each other up on what disapline you have decided on. ie if mum said "no" then dad can't say "yes".
I hope this helps some of you guys having troubles. I think it is really important to start the communitcation stright away. Don't think that you know what each others going to do because you don't. At first i was realy impressed that i actualy had a partner that wanted to play the role and be the dad. (i didn't know that he was going to be like that).
I love me partner and my family. We might not have all the money. But we have communication and love.
ps... i am not shrink.. This is just my story. I'm just wanting to help.
Me and my partner have a 3 yr old daughter. We got married when she was 18 months old. We were both excited that i was pregnant. We talked right from the start about what our roles were going to be and worked to our strenghts. At first my DP wanted me to work all the way up and for me to go straight back to full-time work. At that stage we had agreed on one child. For about 1 month, i didn't say anything, until my pregnancy hormones kicked in and i got all upset. I told him that i didn't want to miss out my only baby. And our plans changed. We both went to all the scans and the midwife appointments. We discussed that we would be bottle feeding. My DP is a night owl and im someone who needs my 8 hrs sleep (otherwise i am a cranky pants). So we discussed that he would take night shift and i would take day shift. He was also working for his family. So his help on night shift was muchly appriecanted. (i would wake and help too, if i could). We chose to bottle feed for the convience (and health reasons ie. knowing exactly how much bubby drank and knowing that bubs what getting all the vitamins, etc) and the fact that it could help share the roles straight away.
Communication is the key.... You need to start this from day one... Always express yourself... No matter how silly you think your concern is.
I communicated with him, that i was unsure that one child was enough, and we agreed on having a second.
Our roles have changed now. I work full-time and im pregnant with our second due in october. My partner stopped working with his family as it was very frustrating curcumstances. (we communcated about that as well) i fully supported him giving up work, even though that ment tight, tight budget. He knows that it is now his job to do the housework, and sometimes dinner. (i do dinner most nights if i finish work on time, but if i finish late, i don't want to cook. I also do the toilet as he doesn't, and of course on weekends i get in my own cleaning mood, but he keeps the house tidy and does the laundry, dishes etc) He loves his daughter lot and lots. We have also discussed what it means when its time for me to take maternity leave and also when we think will be the best time for me to return.
Overall, we work as a team, we always communicate. And we know where each other stands.
Support your partner if he's unsure of what he's doing. Appriecate what he does for you and show that to him. Try not to overlook him when he's changing bub, and let him communicate with bubby (ie. be silly with bubs).
Also... got to discuss how you want to raise your child and what disapline avenues you wish to take. Back each other up on what disapline you have decided on. ie if mum said "no" then dad can't say "yes".
I hope this helps some of you guys having troubles. I think it is really important to start the communitcation stright away. Don't think that you know what each others going to do because you don't. At first i was realy impressed that i actualy had a partner that wanted to play the role and be the dad. (i didn't know that he was going to be like that).
I love me partner and my family. We might not have all the money. But we have communication and love.
ps... i am not shrink.. This is just my story. I'm just wanting to help.
