how can i help ease my husbands fear??

hi im 18 weeks pregnant and due to my last 2 births being c-sections this one has to follow suit, my husband is terrified as he has a son that was born natural and im having his second child. Can anyone give me advice on how to ease his overactive imagination on how much ur stomach is opened up lol. huh

I haven't had a c-section so I could be way off base here, but wouldn't your scar from the previous c-sections be a good starting point for an indication? Something like getting an elastic band which is about the same length as the c-section scar when its pulled tight in a straight line and then while you hold the two "ends" get him to open it up? Without any previous experience with c-sections I basically understand a c-section as being a straight cut and then sort of stretched open/parted to give access in so, if my limited awareness is sort of accurate, this might give him a possible indication. Then again if I'm completely off base with my understanding feel free to ignore this suggestion completely smile

If you do think it might be a way to demonstrate it for him it is probably best to test it out first before doing it with him just incase the elastic band stretches a lot further than I sort of imagine it would but it might work.

Leisa.

hi there thanks you for your advice it could work i will certainly try it, thanks heaps, he has since told me he just can bare the thought of me being "cut open" but he doesnt want to chance the risk of a VBAC lol so ill take any advice and will try anything lol he is a very emotional guy with a weak stomach for certain things lol ill let you know how i go, thanks again leisah smile

I haven't had a c-section so I could be way off base here, but wouldn't your scar from the previous c-sections be a good starting point for an indication? Something like getting an elastic band which is about the same length as the c-section scar when its pulled tight in a straight line and then while you hold the two "ends" get him to open it up? Without any previous experience with c-sections I basically understand a c-section as being a straight cut and then sort of stretched open/parted to give access in so, if my limited awareness is sort of accurate, this might give him a possible indication. Then again if I'm completely off base with my understanding feel free to ignore this suggestion completely smile

If you do think it might be a way to demonstrate it for him it is probably best to test it out first before doing it with him just incase the elastic band stretches a lot further than I sort of imagine it would but it might work.

Leisa.

Have you looked on You tube??? I am pretty sure you would be able to find C Section births somewhere, or when you book into the hospital would they have any DVDs he can watch??

He doesn't have to look, but is it the THOUGHT of it that is worrying him?

hey there yes ill definately try and do that i think too lol and u are definately right he said its just the thought of whats going on behind that big screen lol i had him watch "A Baby Story" on Discovery Health this afternoon and just as the baby come out i looked over at him and low and behold he was as white as a ghost hahahaha i just thanked god he was sitting down lmao but thats hun ill try that too

Hi,

SBS series - One born every minute has c section births on it. Last episode is screening tues night at 8:30pm. Does your hospital offer refresher birth classes. It might be a way of accessing some information and resources. Otherwise, he won't see anything anyway cause there is a big sheet in the way. My husband was really squeamish and swore he wasn't going to look at his son being born but start at the wall for fear of passing out. The reality of it was he was highly fascinated and couldn't take his eyes off it and can't wait to see his second son being born in 7wks. Good luck getting your husband to feel confident for the birth of your child. In all reality whatever he is imagining in his mind is probably far worse than the reality and he will rise to the occasion when it happens.

he has since told me he just can bare the thought of me being "cut open" but he doesnt want to chance the risk of a VBAC lol so ill take any advice and will try anything lol he is a very emotional guy with a weak stomach for certain things lol ill let you know how i go, thanks again leisah smile

So he obviously has no idea that the risks of a c/s are far greater then a vbac2.....

Its your body, he doesn't get a say. Try him with I am happy for you to have a vasectomy, but I can't bear the thought of you using a condom.

So he obviously has no idea that the risks of a c/s are far greater then a vbac2.....

Its your body, he doesn't get a say. Try him with I am happy for you to have a vasectomy, but I can't bear the thought of you using a condom.

yeah he does thats why he wants me to have a c/s and not a vbac he just an over concerned hubby lol i just feel sorry for the por bloke lmao but ill let yas all know how he goes lol

yeah he does thats why he wants me to have a c/s and not a vbac

Sorry, but I think you may have missed OC1246 point. A c/s has much higher risks than a vbac. What exactly are his fears? Just remember YOU are the one who will need to recover physically and emotionally from surgery. If your dh has worries then he needs to confront them and educate himself, it is not your responsibility. You just worry about having a baby smile

I just want to add that at my C/S they put a sheet across my chest so me or DF couldnt actually see what was going on down there, im not sure if it was becoz DF was uneasy or not.. but could always request a sheet to be put up if they dont normally do it.. smile

same with my c-sect, they put up the sheeting so i nor hubby could see anything, but the masochist that my hubby is he peeked around the corner and then proceeded to tell me what they were actually doing.. not what the doc to my left was saying "just a bit of cleaning, just a bit of cleaning.. ooh look theres your baby" cleaning my butt! If the c-sect is what is recommended for you hun and its the safest option the good luck with hubby grin hopefully he'll calm down a bit by the time of your gorgeous little bundle being born! i've had both and still prefer my c-sect grin