Hey Girlies,

Just thought I would start a thread about the disgusting things that happen during birth and after. Just to hopefully prepare the new mums.

The most demeaning thing that happened to me was after the birth. I had a 2nd degree tear, so had to have stitches checks each day. So I thought I would let the new mums to be know how this is done. Well how it was for me.

Nurse comes in tells you it stitches check time. Basically you roll on your side, the nurse pulls your knickers and pad to the side, and open everything up from front to back to have a gawk!

Not nice, but at least now you are prepared if necessary. I had no idea and never had really thought about it, and was horrifed each and everytime I needed them.

Sorry if it is TMI, but I honestly thought pooping while giving birth would be the most embarressing thing that could happen. Boy was I wrong!

Just to add to your story, I had a 3rd degree tear and had to perform butt hole clenches to the surgeon. Definitely a moment to remember lmao

I had to have antibiotics while in labour with DD, a side effect of antibiotics is diarrhea.
I was not feeling so well and went to get up to go to the bathroom and as I stood up I had a diarrhea poo, a vomit and my water broke simultaneously all over the floor. Then to make matters worse the delivery room had no ensuite, I had to walk to the other side of the ward to have a shower and get cleaned up not my finest moment lol.

I also had an episiotomy which got infected and had to be checked regularly.

Just to add to your story, I had a 3rd degree tear and had to perform butt hole clenches to the surgeon. Definitely a moment to remember lmao

I just cracked up laughing!!!!!

I always remember going for my 6 week check up and the doctor put his fingers you know where and told me to grab them! I automatically went to grab his fingers with my hand, he just laughed at me, and said no with your muscles! Very embarrassing.

Just so new mums know, he was checking how my pelvic floor muscles were after a tear!

I had to have antibiotics while in labour with DD, a side effect of antibiotics is diarrhea.
I was not feeling so well and went to get up to go to the bathroom and as I stood up I had a diarrhea poo, a vomit and my water broke simultaneously all over the floor. Then to make matters worse the delivery room had no ensuite, I had to walk to the other side of the ward to have a shower and get cleaned up not my finest moment lol.

I also had an episiotomy which got infected and had to be checked regularly.

You poor thing. I crapped stacks with my first! But that didn't bother me too much. Another thing that was horrible, was when I had to get off the bed to go have a shower. OMG the feeling off what came out, coupled with the fact that I had to do the walk of shame nude, holding a bath towel between my legs!

I cant believe I have to do all this again in 5 weeks.

It was like an Olivia Newton-John video gone wrong lol.

When the surgeon told me she wanted to show me some excercises I so wasn't expecting that bahahaha

Firstly, the sight of a Dr putting lube on his fingers to do a S&S was a bit scary lol. Pooing in labour with DD1 wasn't my finest moment. Then a finger up my backside to make sure all was okay. Then the stitch checks were done differently by different midwives. Some you had to lay back and spread 'em, others just let you roll to the side and let you do it discreetly. I peed while I was in labour too. I needed to do a big push and I thought it was amniotic fluid coming out.

This was all with DD1 though, with DD2 I think things were pretty cruisy.

I too had an tear and an episiotomy..I had my legs in stirrups for about 10-15 mins while they stitched me up, at the time I really didn't care a less, but now I really cringe thinking about it. I can't remember having my stitches checked so it mustn't have been too bad. No pooing or weeing for me thankgoodness though lol

I had a c section with all of mine.The 1st was a after a prolonged labour,going to the toilet to do a poo was bad enough when you had trouble walking, wiping the bottom was near impossible so dh had to wipe my butt! lol anyway, modesty is over rated lol

yep pooing while pushing , then after tearing all the midwives in training came in to watch my midwife stitch me up (everyone was getting an eye full) she let one of the trainee midwives put the GIANT tampon thing in and oh my god that hurt like hell , then they give me an anal pain killer ???
Modesty what is that ????

laugh laugh laugh

THIS is what first time mum's really need to know!

I had my bags packed with lovely large t-shirt nighties I could wear during labour.. um.. nope, spent the whole thing naked! Went for two showers and just never had time to get dressed AND those hospital towels are nowhere near large enough! They aren't covering anything! laugh

I THINK I did pooh but it was hard to tell, thought I saw the mw whisk something away though. unsure

I too had a 3rd degree tear and spent an hour being put back together (TBH that won't bother you though as you'll have the most beautiful thing you've ever seen on your chest to distract you wub) Had the spread 'em and the side checks. The worst one though was at my home visit I had to do it on my own bed and I was just hoping I didn't mess up my own sheets! laugh

Also you'll show your boobs to every man and his dog and most of them will also squeeze them. The mws came to my house and said "ok, get your shirt off!" So you'll probably just sit in your house with two strange women without your top on.. that's completely normal! laugh

And why do they say you'll bleed for about two weeks after giving birth... six weeks here!! Don't be fooled!

the first poo after having a baby is the scariest thing you will ever do, your sit there, you know what you need to do, but your too damn scared to push cos last time you pushed a baby came out. I seriously sat on the toilet for half an hour psyching myself up just to do a poo. smile

the first poo after having a baby is the scariest thing you will ever do, your sit there, you know what you need to do, but your too damn scared to push cos last time you pushed a baby came out. I seriously sat on the toilet for half an hour psyching myself up just to do a poo. smile

Bahahaha! I had to do one before I was allowed to be discharged to make sure I still could but I just can't bring myself to pooh at hospital! I had to pray for a pooh to come so I could go home! Bahahaha. They eventually gave me something to make me go!

SOOOO much to look forward to unsure unsure

Geez the baby better be worth it wink

The first time you stand up after delivery is the yukiest!! You feel like a truck has hit you and they give you a pad to just sit between your legs while you shuffle off to the showers, meanwhile blood gushing on the floor!! So gross.....so not looking forward to that again!

Oh and I also had a visitor bust in on my stitches check!! So embarrassed....even after all of that!!

SOOOO much to look forward to unsure unsure

Geez the baby better be worth it wink

It is all SOOOOOO worth it though!!!! You hold your little one on your chest and it doesn't matter what you went through to get him/her.

Also i had the thing (can't remember the name) that makes you go toilet within like 10 minutes. So there were no 'accidents' during labour. I was so glad my OB made me have it haha.

Deleted cos I'm still too embarrassed laugh

I was in the lift in labour with my twins, going up to the labour ward and hanging on to the rails and my DH for support. I had this tremendous urge to push for some reason so I started to take my knickers off! Right there in the public lift - there was DH, myself, an oler women and her 2 teenage sons that were absolutly horrified! I just remember my DH trying to hold the lift doors open and get me out and I was NOT moving, I had my knickers off down around my ankles by this time and I remember looking up and seeing how red faced these poor teenage boys were. I knew at that instant it wasnt 'appropiate behaviour' I was displaying but I couldnt have cared less.

The poor mum and kids went and got the midwife for me and DH. I think DH was even more embarrassed.
Lol

some of these stories are a classic!
when i had ds1 i had a small internal tear i had my sil come to visit and she brought her 18yr old brother, i had no pants on, just a sheet over me and pad between my legs when a midwife came in and lifted the end of the sheet to check bleeding poor sil's brother didnt know where to look! i prob turned him off gineys for life! not the prettiest site!

I was in the lift in labour with my twins, going up to the labour ward and hanging on to the rails and my DH for support. I had this tremendous urge to push for some reason so I started to take my knickers off! Right there in the public lift - there was DH, myself, an oler women and her 2 teenage sons that were absolutly horrified! I just remember my DH trying to hold the lift doors open and get me out and I was NOT moving, I had my knickers off down around my ankles by this time and I remember looking up and seeing how red faced these poor teenage boys were. I knew at that instant it wasnt 'appropiate behaviour' I was displaying but I couldnt have cared less.

The poor mum and kids went and got the midwife for me and DH. I think DH was even more embarrassed.
Lol

hahahaha oh my god this is hilarious...

After DS birth I had no fart control for the first week. they would just come out. very embarrassing.

After DS birth I had no fart control for the first week. they would just come out. very embarrassing.

I had this too! Mine was a bit longer than a week though, soooo embarrassing. Once I was in Big W and did the whole fart per step thing. I couldn't get out of there quick enough and I didn't go back for aaages lmao

glad i'm not the only one! hahaha so embarrassing!

After DS birth I had no fart control for the first week. they would just come out. very embarrassing.

Hahaha.. I remember being asked if I could 'hold on to my wind'.. thankfully I could smile

I had this too! Mine was a bit longer than a week though, soooo embarrassing. Once I was in Big W and did the whole fart per step thing. I couldn't get out of there quick enough and I didn't go back for aaages lmao

LOL!!! you really made me giggle there!! Bought back some memories i rather not share HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Oh my! I really needed a good laugh and some of those really got me going. Not in a mean way, mind you. It's all in the telling isn't it. I had such a horror labour etc. So, no funny stories here :/

Although... 2/3 days after giving birth I was finally allowed up to have a shower. I still had a drain coming out of my stomach and a catheter so was rather difficult, but I was determined! Felt pretty yuck, as you could imagine. So, I managed the shower, barely, just as I looked up to say that I was about to pass out I see THE most gorgeous doctor and then down I go. I vaguely remember him, DH and the midwife rushing in to help me up and dry me and back into bed. A couple of months later I saw him in town and couldn't place his face, you know when u look at each other and wonder whether to say hi or not...then I realised and was mortified blink What can u do but laugh!

Here's to hoping the next one goes better!!

I had this too! Mine was a bit longer than a week though, soooo embarrassing. Once I was in Big W and did the whole fart per step thing. I couldn't get out of there quick enough and I didn't go back for aaages lmao

What a bloody corker!!!!!!!!!!!!PMSL

lol man so many embarrassing things happened to me i dunno where to start!

i farted in front of DP for the first time, we had only been dating for 4 months and he came in for the birth, i had had the epidural and had no feeling from the boobs down. it was a loud fart too sad lol

as for the stitches my pb was stitching me up 4hours i kept passing out and coming back and the first time i woke up there was 4 docs the next time the entire room was full the next time back to 4 differnt docs then she was asking someone to go get this certain type of stitch cos she ran out, im pretty sure the entire hospital staff saw my bits that day.
checks oooh the shame, not so much the stitches checks but when they check your pads and ask when the last time u changed was ooooh so wanted to crawl in a hole and die

i was asked to make some milk come out, just weird when someone is watching u milking yourself

and when i was having dd my ob was telling me to "flare your anus" when i was pushing her out which made me laugh and then she slipped back up and i had to push all over again grrr

checks oooh the shame, not so much the stitches checks but when they check your pads and ask when the last time u changed was ooooh so wanted to crawl in a hole and die

This just reminded me of when the midwives would tell me that if I passed any large clots to try to keep them on a pad and put them in this little room to be checked. I had to once and my friend was on shift *cringe* Luckily she was very professional lol. She was telling me she'd seen clots the size of dinner plates so needless to say, I didn't have to 'save' anymore to show anyone.

flare your anus ! hahaha how do you even do that ???
Some of these stories are absolute gold !!