a brief update on me

hi everyone, well after feeling like i have had a cloud over my head for the last month i now feel like it has lifted slightly, as i talked to someone at work yesterday about it all, and it actually made me feel a bit better, i didnt think it would. i have been very teary lately and sad, and af has arrived too the first one since the mc. i still feel upset and miss being pregnant, not feeling a bump growing and all that stuff, but i feel slightly more positive, although we still cant start trying again just yet, i still dont even want to even if we could. still have to get my ovary checked out to make sure i dont have cancer or cyst or whatever they think it is. so still in limbo. i felt like all these feelings were doing my head in, cause i had nooone closeby that i could confide in, so was trying to put it behind and deal with all this at the same time.
still havent done a burial for the little embryo yet, cant really face doing that at the moment, so will leave it in the freezer for a little bit longer.
anyway, sorry if ive upset anyone by what i have written, not my intention. hope everyone else is doing a little better too.

I'm really sorry for your loss sad

It's good that you were able to talk to someone and feel a little better.

I can't bring myself to speak to anyone about the loss of my girl yet but I have booked an appointment with a psychologist for next week. At my GP I got a referral for counselling- up to 10 sessions at either free or very low cost depending on what medicare and my private health insurance will pay.

Perhaps some professional help might be an idea in the future for you? I know speaking is the last thing I feel like doing but I want my DD 2years old to have a happy mummy, not one who can't get past the loss of her little sister.

Good luck with your future tests and I hope you feel some peace with all this soon.
x

Thank you rosie Mumma for replying to my post. your care and kind words will be remembered, as for others, im a little upset that I only had one reply, when i poured out my heart about how i was feeling. not what I was expecting, especially when other peoople on here have hundreds of replies to other posts or threads . I just dont understand it, anyway i think i wil l take myself off these forums cause It just seems like I wasted my time.

Thank you rosie Mumma for replying to my post. your care and kind words will be remembered, as for others, im a little upset that I only had one reply, when i poured out my heart about how i was feeling. not what I was expecting, especially when other peoople on here have hundreds of replies to other posts or threads . I just dont understand it, anyway i think i wil l take myself off these forums cause It just seems like I wasted my time.

Hun i'm so sorry you feel this way.
I must have missed your post because i had not seen it until now. There are many fantastic ladies on here that have suffered a loss. Maybe they just don't know what to say, it can be hard at times to put words into writing. I am guilty of reading a post and not being able to reply because i'm not sure what to say.
Maybe like Rosie mumma mentioned, try counselling? You never know until you try, just maybe it will help.
I'm sorry for your loss and i hope that the pain will ease for you. Have you got any good support around you? Anyone that can help or even just talk to?
And i hope that in time you will be able to conceive a sticky baby smile Big hugs sweetie.

Hi,

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I don't know at what gestation you were, but in my opinion as soon as you know you're pregnant, you have a baby. My sister lost her son when she was 8 months pregnant 11 years ago. I was there when Jacob was born and every year we spend hours on the phone talking about him and remembering him. I'm very close to my sister and even to this day I shed tears over the unfairness.

I've had friends who've MC in the early stages and I've always encouraged them to hold their own little service and grieve. Alot of people try and hold off showing too much emotion because there is the preconception that the baby wasn't born so you didn't know it, but that's not true. You know tyour baby and you are connected to that baby, so of course you need time to grieve.

My advice is don't conform to act and behave how you think people believe you should. Cry, scream, and grieve how you see fit. And I agree with the people above, you should speak to a GP about being referred to a psychologist. Also try and find a group that has mothers in the same situation. There is a facebook page called Little Angel Memory Boxes or LAMB, they maybe able to help you get in touch with a FB group or a supprt group where you can talk to other people who have lived your experience.



xxx

I have only just saw your post tonight...and have tried to reply 4 times but I just don't know what to say. Perhaps this is why your post didn't receive many replies.

I am SO sorry for your loss. There are no words I can think of to describe how sorry I am that you have lost your baby.

I don't have anything further to add, Keeki basically covered everything, but I just wanted to say PLEASE be kind to yourself, take care of yourself and allow yourself time to grieve. Don't ever think you HAVE to deal with your loss a certain way or in a certain time frame. You take your time and do what is best for you.

xo

Hi lovely,
I know exactly how your feeling I've had 4 mc's in 3 years and I know the pain and anger it does get better (bet your sick of hearing that) its awful I sit and think that if they never happened I could possibly have 2 year old twins.... I spent at lot of time being pissed at people for not giving a *** my advice to u is.... It's not that they don't care it's that they don't know what to say and really what do u say??? I'm sorry just doesn't cut it, and it's for the best makes you want to slap people. You will never be over it you will just learn how to deal with it differently!
It hurts like hell (mentally) but u can do this!!! That cloud will lift a little more and u will feel your self able to do more and more each week...
Please know that u need to talk about it in order to understand how u r feeling (hope that doesn't sound to for lack of a better word lame)
And don't be afraid to get angry it's normal just remember why your angry and give yourself some room to breath!!!
I hope you start to feel a little better soon and I hope everything goes well with the testing
All my love xxxxx

I'm so sorry you your family have had to go through this.
I've sat here trying to think of what to say to you but really I have no idea.. sad
No words could describe the pain you are going through.
I know that pain, it's horrible.. But one day, things WILL get better.
Hang in there.

Sending you BIG hugs.. xxx