Holland instead of France

I understand that it's okay to grieve for the child you never had, the one you THOUGHT you were getting but I also thought and hoped that eventually those feelings would fade (although not disappear entirely) but 3 years later - since the diagnosis - I still wonder how different life would have been.

He's beautiful and I love him dearly, he's REALLY smart and funny and I've learned so much trying to see things from his perspective (Big Bang Theory anyone?) but sometimes I see him, esp when with other kids his age, and I wonder...

i dont know how to reply because ive never been in your stituation but i couldnt read this and not reply. ((BIG HUGS)) i hope you find some peace wih your feelings. holland is just as beautiful as france.

I understand that it's okay to grieve for the child you never had, the one you THOUGHT you were getting but I also thought and hoped that eventually those feelings would fade (although not disappear entirely) but 3 years later - since the diagnosis - I still wonder how different life would have been.

He's beautiful and I love him dearly, he's REALLY smart and funny and I've learned so much trying to see things from his perspective (Big Bang Theory anyone?) but sometimes I see him, esp when with other kids his age, and I wonder...

I have a beautiful DS with autism. He is smart, funny and loving. I adore him, as you do your son, but ...

I still wonder how different life would be. I still look at typically developing kids, and wonder what my DS would be like if he were neuro-typical. I wonder what MY life would be like.

Most days I'm OK with destination Holland. Although it's not what I planned or expected, there is a lot of joy to be had. But some days it's hard work to see the bright side.

I'm probably not much help, but I wanted you to know that I understand how you feel. I understand how hard and isolating it can be. I understand your grief.

Hello there,

I hope this post comes out right, and that its some kind of help to you...

I have got both Holland and France. My DS1 has autism, and although we love him dearly it is really, really hard work! That said, we are very lucky to be put in a position where we can become more patient, compassionate, understanding and tolerant human beings, and parents too! I do believe that children with special needs choose the parents who can best provide for their unique situation.

I also have France too - DS2 is NT, and there are a lot of differences, and it is hard on Ds2 to understand and comprehend why DS1 does the things he does. I also know that DS2 has a far easier time in social settings, with change, routine etc. However, I know that Ds2 will grow up with a better appreciation and love and respect for his brother then a lot of other kids do.

Even though I know I'm fortunate to have both Holland and France, Holland is a wonderful country to have in your corner smile