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How did you cope??? Rss

Hi Everyone,
My partner and i are going through losing our baby right now, i was rushed to hospital 10pm Fri night. Have to go for a scan today if they can get us in and see if i need a D&C.
The thing is i dont know where to start with excepting this, my emotional pain is ripping me apart and then dealing with the physical pain aswell it all feels like to much.
How did you cope?
Also is it better to do the D&C? or natural? Do you recover faster from either? I JUST WANT IT AL TO STOP NOW.
Please any advise would be so helpful. Im trying to be strong for my man and my two girls, the children didnt know, we were waiting for our 12week scan before telling them and i dont know what my man is feeling, he not talking about it.
We are waitng a bubba very much but dont want to do anything that might make it harder to fall preg again, hence the D&C question.
This is so hard and im feel so much for everyone one there that has been through this, my heart goes out to you all.







Skippy And The Greek:
Did you go natural or have a D&C?
Thank you for your kind words







I am so sorry to hear you are going through this.

I have lost two precious babies - one at 11 weeks, one at 5 weeks.
I was offered the option of a D&C or taking tablets to "induce" the baby out, as I had already waited a couple of weeks for it to happen naturally and nothing had happened. I thought the tablets would be the better option because I didn't want to go under general anaesthetic. The tablets took all day to work and I spent the whole time on morphine - it was awful. I wish I had gone with the D&C.

As for fertility after miscarriage or D&C, there is research to suggest you might be more fertile in the months after that proceedure. (but of course there's also research to suggest the opposite) In my experience I fell pregnant 3 months after my first MC (but miscarried again), and 4 months after my second MC, so it didn't really take too long - and now I am 29 weeks pregnant smile

Dealing with a miscarriage is really hard. I greived for weeks and cried. My husband didn't show any emotion, but he was deeply hurt. Men are funny creatures, they don't like to show their feelings much, but they do feel too. Don't try and be brave for him, let yourself grieve in whatever why you need to ~ there's no right or wrong way to feel. It does get easier to deal with over time, and some days are harder than others.
Hugs to you xx


I am so sorry. sad

I chose to go natural. Speeding it up doesn't make the pain go away. I found I needed to go through the experience to help me deal with it.
I have had 2. One D&C and one natural. I chose a D&C for my first as i was 10wks and it was a missed miscarriage ( so no signs of a miscarriage), and I didn't want to wait for it to happen on it's own. I fell pregnant about 6 weeks after but miscarried again at 6wk naturally. I don't think there was really a 'better' way. Each have better points. I would probably choose to go a D&C again if I was over 8wks. But that is just me personally. I also fel pregnant 2 months after.

So sorry you have to go through this, just remember you are not alone.





Oh sweetie I am so sorry for your loss. I recently had a miscarriage. I ended up having a natural miscarriage on the early morning that my D&C was booked in for. I still cry each day for my bub sad My husband talked openly with me of how he was grieving for our baby too and my children knew as they had shared in our joy of finding out we were pregnant.
I was very worried how my cycle would be after my miscarriage but AF arrived 28 days after my bleeding began for my miscarriage and my next AF is due in a few days.
Sending you hugs, take time for yourself and my thoughts are with you at this terrible time in your life xx
Thank you all so much for your kind words, it's really nice to have some happy story's from people that have been here before. I dont want to give up hope that we will one day have another wee bundle in our family.
I ended up back at the hospital today and then sent home, back again tomorrow for a scan and we will go from there. Im thinking if bubs hasn;t come away i will go with the D&C, im finding it really hard to cope with the emotional without all the physical pain.
My man has talked to me a wee bit today about how he's feeling, and he's scared, i just hope it wont put him off trying again in time.







What a crazy time we are having right now. After all the pain and being told we were losing our baby by A&E staff we went for our scan and they told us the sac has grown???? My bloods dropped from 1100 to 700 over 3 dags but they now saying bub might still be ok?????? Soooooo confused right now, we have another scan this thursday to find out more. They still couldn't see bubba, just the sac but it was measuring 5 weeks 2 days where as at the scan the previous thursday it was only 4-5wks. Has anyone had this happen and had a healthy bubba at the end of it all?????







Hello,
Sorry to hear what you have been going through.
If its ok to ask I was just wondering how you went, I hope it was a good outcome.
I'm not sure if what happened with me could be useful information at all, I haven't read all the above posts but I have miscarried twice this year, both pregnancies after my 19mth old son which was my first pregnancy and lucky to have had him without complications in pregnancy and birth. (I'm 21)
The first miscarriage I was still breastfeeding, I miscarried at 9 weeks and had expelled everything naturally however it was a 3 week process, I had an internal ultrasound which showed a small cyst on left ovary which apparently is no reason for concern and that there was still something in the cervical canal within the week of first realising I was losing the baby on Easter Sunday morning. I stalled going to the dr as I had no pain after the initial first lot of blood as it disappeared after pushing a big part out, just blood, slight cramping & clots heavy after that the first few days but it eased and then just random clots throughout the weeks that followed until it just stopped. I would just feel pressure when I needed to expell anything. I was advised to wait just one cycle before trying again which we did. A theory brought up was that maybe my very efficient uterus contracting when breastfeeding may have contributed to pushing the baby out but I accepted it as it just didn't have what it needed to continue whether that be nutrients or the correct DNA match up etc. It also really infuriated me to hear people say "It wasn't meant to be, it will happen when the time is right, maybe it was too soon, you should wait a year or thats why you don't tell anyone until after 12 wks" as I wanted my baby so bad and I realise its all that anyone can say but its just so insensitive to hear from immediate family/friends that are supposed to just support you. I have also realised the topic is alot more awkward for others to hear than for me to talk about and so I now just tell if I am asked if people want to know.
My second miscarriage I didn't even realise I had until my 12 week scan, I had no spotting at all until the day before my scan so I got worried but convinced myself it should be nothing maybe I'd been too busy or it was a little residual blood from intercourse a few days before and I had felt unwell, sore breasts and very tired so I had assumed that everything was going really well. My Toddler had also weaned from breastfeeding prior to this pregnancy so I thought maybe that had helped give myself and pregnancy more nutrients.
I went to my 12 week scan and realised the baby had no heartbeat before the ultrasound tech had said anything, it turned out the baby did not progress from 7wks which coincidently after some thought my Husband remembered I was complaining of a really sharp abdomen pain when I drove to pick him up after he had a car accident which was at exactly 7wks but I thought nothing of that pain as I had no spotting and still felt pregnant and just put it down to being constipated and I hadn't felt anything like that again after that day.
I was asked to return to the hospital to discuss my options, 1 was wait and see like the miscarriage before, 2 was the induction tablets to try to speed it up naturally and 3 was a D&C.
I chose to book for a D&C incase my body didn't expel it any time soon as it had been there for 5 wks without moving already and to try and avoid any further major blood loss as my iron stores were still low from last time.
I didn't make it to the D&C appointment made as my body took over that very night at 8pm so I thought its ok I will do it own my own again and avoid unnecessary surgery which was going fine from then until 1:30am when I had a lot of pressure rather than pain to push but I felt like I still needed to sleep and felt I was going to pass out after which I did. My Husband called the ambulance, I was only out of it a few seconds but they took me to hospital anyway where they did blood tests and put an IV in, I felt a lot calmer there and was no longer in pain just still a little pressure.
They said it is common after a big blood loss or an intense moment of pain for the blood pressure to drop which caused me to pass out. They didn't allow me to eat or drink incase they were going to do a d&c that morning and they did.
I felt ok after the d&c, was just looking forward to seeing my little man and going home to rest and just had little discharge for 10days after and am now just waiting for my cycle to return. I have been advised to wait 2 cycles.
They also told me they think I have just been unlucky so far to have had 2 miscarriages in a row and if it happens again that will be when they will test to see what is going on.
Sorry if this is too much information or irrelevant but I thought I'd share as everyone is different and it seems to be such a variable experience. I hope this information can help anyone else that has to go through it.

I was also told by the hospital which could be useful information that when someone has miscarried and need to or choose to have a d&c they will do their best to book you within the week to reduce stress and do prioritise urgency. I thought I would mention this too as with my first miscarriage the dr I did see was not my own gp but just a local one who organised the u/s and when she got the results back that there was still something inside she wanted me to just go to the emergency department to be seen and I asked her why as she said it was not urgent but that she wanted a gp there to assess me and I told her that is really inconvenient and made no sense and asked her why she wouldn't just refer me straight to a maternal department within the hospital instead so I have an appointment to be seen rather than going into que in emergency with my little one to be seen by a gp and go over it all over again and then be told that they will make me an appointment to return to see the maternal department or have the d&c next available business day or whatever to reduce stress but she was determined for me to waste my time which my own gp confirmed would have been a complete waste of time and that he would book me straight into the appropriate area if I hadn't passed the rest on my own by the following week, so if you want to, do the research as its all a bad enough experience without the added stress of being stuffed around.
Just do what is best for you, your body and whats best recovery for your family and yourself to heal afterwards.
Sorry to hear that you had to go through this lovely.
I myself had to desk with the samething, I lost twins at 12weeks, I was also
Rushed to hospital the bleeding slowed so they sent me home
9 hours later I was back in the end I lost 60% of my bodies blood capacity
Had a d&c and stayed in hospital for 4 days, the d&c slows the bleeding
To spotting with in an hour of the d&c, I am sorry to ramble on your post
Hope I helped even a little bit, 1 month on and my health is nearly back
And emotionally alot stabler, my love being sent to you I hope all turned out well on your end xx sad
im sorry for everything your going through. ive lost 3 angels and have all been naturally. each time id lost an angel the doctor told me theres no need for a D&C unless the tissue and what not is not coming out naturally then i would need one. but everyone is different, some people prefer to have a D&C when they first find out they are going through a miscarriage.
I hope everything works out
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