Robbed of the experience?

Ashalee_89 wrote:
melmul wrote:
I can't believe your partner wasn't able to stay with you, he wasn't visiting - goodness I'd be writing a complaint to the hospital about that. As for not experiencing giving birth I do feel for you as it is obviously something that you wanted to do, but the main thing is you have a healthy baby, don't be so hard on yourself & enjoy your baby =)

I've been thinking about writing a complaint. The whole birth experience was messed up. I felt like i was pushed into a corner. It seems that everyone else i know that has birthed in my area has ended up feeling pressured into a caesar. Must be the easy option for everyone else. I did want it and still do, but what will be will be. My boy is healthy and happy and so am i now. Thank you all for your kind words xx

You could write a letter telling them that this is what happened and how it shouldn't of happened. I don't know what they would do but hopefully it would stop this from happening to someone else.

my biggest fear was a c-section, especially as i had given birth naturally twice before. Compared to the pain i now feel, the c-section was nothing. you are all very lucky woman. I was in labour for 24 hours, only progressed to 3cm dilated and then my placenta ruptured and i was rushed for an emergency c-section. My daughter was stillborn and i went into labour at 35 weeks and that was 7 weeks ago. I dont feel guilty over my c-section but i know a friend of mine who ended up with a c-section and for a year afterwards she felt guilty and robbed. she said what happened to me is the reason she stopped feeling guilty, because she got to keep her son.

I didn't see this post when you first wrote it - but omg I CANNOT believe your partner was forced to leave!! This is totally unheard of in this day and age! Please write a complaint - you might be able to prevent another couple from going through a part of this experience. Not only do you feel robbed, but I daresay your partner would too. He has missed out on watching his child enter the world, and there's only one chance to do that..... that hospital was COMPLETELY and horrifyingly in the wrong with that one. Women cannot control the fact that they go in to labour - are people at that hospital supposed to deliver only within visiting hours???! Geez louise! My dd was born at 4.15am.... it never once crossed anyones mind that he shouldn't be there!

I havn't experienced a c section so I have no advice for that part, glad to see you have come to some kind of peace with it. All I was going to say is that you should definately acknowlege how you feel, it is okay to feel upset about an experience. We all fight our negative feelings so much and think we shouldn't feel a certain way... but there's nothing wrong with being upset about it - it'll help you deal with it better.

I didnt really read everyone elses replys but OMG I cant believe your prtner was kicked out before your baby was born! I have NEVER heard of that happening! I went into labour with DD at about 4pmish...was coping fine so didnt go into hospital till around 8ish and had to have an emergency c-section due to her heart rate dropping with every contraction. An DF was with me the whole time, even in the operating room. WIth both DD and DS. I think you should make a complaint about that coz its just not right! My DF parents were even there the whole time, not in the operating room though and during all that a friend who was supose to be in the the delivery room with us (our plan if I were to deliver naturally) and it was fine till about 1am then they all had to leave!

Anyway I too did feel like a failure but look at my children now and thank god they are both fine and healthy! And I am more than happy to have another c-section if need be as long as my kids are fine!

Wow I also cant believe that your partner was kicked out! That is just wrong on all counts! I would have been furious if my other half was kicked out when I was trying to give birth!

On another note, I cant say say I know how you feel but I do want to say that althought you didnt push your baby out you still gave birth. regardless of how it happened, that baby still grew inside you and came into this world from your body. I know it doesnt help, but you did what was necessary to bring your baby into this world and that is admirable in my eyes.

I know how you feel. I can't say I gave birth to my bub, as in my mind I didn't and it breaks my heart.

Everyone I speak too tells me I'm being ungrateful but none of them had c-sections.

I'm gutted, it was the one thing I dreamed about, like a perfect wedding day, giving birth.

Now I fear any future babies the hospital will make it hard for me to have my wish.