Okay so I'm 18, and currently thinking about starting a family with my 21year old boyfriend. I know how it must seem but I figure we are both adults and we are financially capable of having a family this young. My boyfriend loves the idea of it and we have a great supporting family . However I Just wanted to hear from anyone in the same situation and any regrets or suggestions they may have. Thanks!

if you are ready and mature enough i dont think it is to young i planned to have my DS young and i was 16 when i had him and am 18 now

Do you ever feel as though you are missing out on going out with friends or anything like that?

if you are ready and mature enough i dont think it is to young i planned to have my DS young and i was 16 when i had him and am 18 now

So cute!

i was 19 when i fell pregnant,

it depends on
*stable relationship
*maturity
*if you want to go out with friends clubbing ect or do you prefer catching up for coffee ect. do u think you can take a baby everywhere you go now or would you have to change your life and regret it.

Do you ever feel as though you are missing out on going out with friends or anything like that?

not at all i was never really in to partying or going out or anything i grew up raising my siblings 4-5 of them by the time i was 13 so i knew what it was all about
i did go to a friends house each weekend and have some drinks when i was about 13 so i knew what that was like too didn't like it to much so knew i wouldn't miss it

when i was 14 i started going out with my now husband and baby's dad smile we got married in september

kinda sounds real bad but you know.. it is true

is that what you wanted to know?

i was 19 when i fell pregnant,

it depends on
*stable relationship
*maturity
*if you want to go out with friends clubbing ect or do you prefer catching up for coffee ect. do u think you can take a baby everywhere you go now or would you have to change your life and regret it.

what she said..

Never been into drinking and partying as I live in a rural town not much to do lol people are so judgmental here I'm worried about what people will think but at the end of the day they don't matter. I'm glad to hear your happy with your decision you made. Yes that's the kind of things I wanted to know smile

I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant, only been with my boyfriend for 7 months!!! Now we are married and soo happy with our wee angel, but I was a bit of a party animal laugh and to be completely 100 percent honest, I dont miss the drinking and socialising. I did lose most of my friends however, as we dont have anything in common! Oh well smile

I figure if they won't stand by you during that then your friends aren't worth having hey. It gives you a chance to find other friends that have kids and you can relate to. Thank you do much for your help!

If you are capable of doing it then yes.But id make sure you have finished any schooling you want to do and if you plan on getting married id do it before so its easier to plan and i just think its nice for kids to grow up with both parents married i think it gives them a sense of security.My sister inlaw isnt married and has two kids age 5 and 6 and they keep asking why shes not married.I had my baby last year age 20 im now 21 i had finished my apprenticeship and now feel it was the perfect time to have a baby however we had'nt planned it.I also am very happy we have had kids before buying a house (we rent) as we want to buy one when we are both working again so not to cause to much stress on our finances.Before i had planned to buy a house first but now see it is actually better to have kids first(in our situation). Im engaged now so only thing i would of done is have my wedding first and honeymoon to yourselves not feeling guilty for leaving kids at home or watever.We wont be having a honeymoon for this reason.We have been together 4 years this feb smile

Yes I sooo agree on getting married first tho, DH and I never got a honeymoon sad

Ok well I'm purely going on my own experiences here. I was 21 when we started trying for dd, I didn't realise I'd fall pregnant first cycle. So dd was born when I was just 22.

Now everyone is different, and not many people are like me - I also thought we were ready, we had been married for 2 years already and it seemed like the next step in our lives. I was mature, sensible, and not afraid of commitment.

So dd came along - and life was tipped upside down. I didn't cope with it one bit and to cut a long story short, it wasn't pretty and we had to move in with my parents for my own safety.

After many years of reflecting on this time of my life, I can honestly say that the reason behind it was because I hadn't found my true personality yet. We were cruising along enjoying life. As you get older you consider in depth your stance on life, who you are, what you believe in and what you don't. Between the age of 20 and 25 I believe your personality changes SO MUCH as you discover who you really are as a person. Some people can manage throwing a child or two in the mix with it, but I certainly didn't.

As a result my memories of the first 2 years of her life are awful. I missed out on a beautiful baby really. I have felt total regret about it for years until I realised that it has helped shaped the person I am.

It's a very serious commitment to make - and I think you have to work out whether or not you've achieved what you need to acheive thus far. Do you have plans to travel? Have you experienced much in your lifetime? These are things that can help you work out where you sit in life.

Maybe it wont make sense until you go through it, maybe it'll be the very thing that'll help you grow as a person, who knows.

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here, however if you're asking US if you're too young, prehaps underneath you are wondering this yourself and are not sure?

I hope you make the right decision for your situation.

best of luck.
xx

I finished school last year and now have a job at Australia post. My boyfriend has already bought a house and already own our cars . I have three jobs at the moment so money is no object for setting up for the baby. I agree about getting married first but I can just imagine what my friends would say about the whole situation. I'm not planning on getting pregnant Until about a years time when I have experienced being 18 and traveling to where I want to go. Thank you for sharing your experience with me, im sorry for what you went through sad hope every thing is well now in your life
How did you all cope with telling your parents? And friends?
How dd everything go after the baby was born?

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here, however if you're asking US if you're too young, prehaps underneath you are wondering this yourself and are not sure?




I agree with this too.

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here, however if you're asking US if you're too young, prehaps underneath you are wondering this yourself and are not sure?




I agree with this too.

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here, however if you're asking US if you're too young, prehaps underneath you are wondering this yourself and are not sure?




I agree with this too.

I definitely see this and agree. I just wanted opinions so I knew what to expect when I do tell people I'm pregnant. I know I'm young at the moment that's why I'm planning forward

If you were a friend of mine who asked me that question my answer would be to go discover the world, there's a whole world out there, travel, spend, enjoy a few years because in my experience age 18-23ish I was still discovering myself and looking back I think those years were majorly important to broadening my horizons and just soaking up life and learning and just having the chance to cruise through things without too much responsibility. it is something I miss now and although I wouldn't change having my kids (I'm 27), I think having those years to live a little helps me to cope with having such huge responsibility now.

Disclaimer: this is purely speaking from my own experience and I'm sure there are lots of wonderful doting young parents out there

I agree with snowflake, that what I was trying to get at in my long-winded way! Lol, sorry - I have trouble getting my point across in just a few words!

I definitely see this and agree. I just wanted opinions so I knew what to expect when I do tell people I'm pregnant. I know I'm young at the moment that's why I'm planning forward

smile ah k

I agree with snowflake, that what I was trying to get at in my long-winded way! Lol, sorry - I have trouble getting my point across in just a few words!

I think u put it perfectly chalys

I fell pregnant with DS when I was 18 and he was born 2 weeks before my 19th birthday. I have always just wanted to be a mum and was lucky I found my soulmate earlier then most. For me it was the best thing I could have done. I love being a mum and would not have it any other way. My partner and I are not married and are not sure yet whether we will or not and personally in my opinion marriage doesn't mean everything to us - we are in a committed relationship and the divorce rate these days is enough to say that you don't need a peice of paper to be in a committed relationship forever. In saying all of this though maturity is a big part of it rather than age. Are you willing and ready to give your life up for a baby who will need you for a long time? Do you want to travel first? I think you need to consider things you would like to do prior to having children and Do the, first if that's what you want to do eg. Traveling. Good luck and I wish you all the best with whatever decision you make. I was very nervous telling my parents and everyone when pregnant with DS but most people took it well. I did have 2 people ask me why I wasn't having an abortion and needless to say these 2 people do not have a part in my life anymore. I will say be prepared for negativity but if it's what you want to do don't worry what everyone else has to say!

I don't think yous hould worry if other people think you are too young, it is what you think smile

I got pregnant when I was 17 and had her two months after just turning 18. I wasn't into partying and clubbing, I had no friends and had no care in making friends anyway so to me missing out on being drunk and making a fool of myself wasn't something I was upset about lol

I am just speaking of my own experiences, the people that I did know which was mainly DH's family and mine anyway knew I was young but also knew abit of what I had been through in life and knew that I would know what I was doing. I couldn't care less about getting about and exploring new things, I knew what I wanted to do and that was it. I have plenty of my life ahead of me to do these things when I am alot older but for now i wanted to raise a family of my own, that was what was of utmost of importance for me. Everything else will still be there. New experiences will still be there to have.

You do what feels right for you. If you feel that both you and your partner are mature enough and responsible enough to raise a child, then do so smile

I wish you the best of luck with whichever decision you choose to make.

I'm going to Fiji on a cruise this year for my eighteenth and plan to go to Europe on a contiki tour sometime soon too, so the travel bug will be worn out, and I agree that you don't lose holidays, they just turn into family holidays. The only thing I am now worried about is that because I started my new job this month, I will not be eligible for paid maternity leave as you must be an employee for well over a year.. Not oby that but my boss is over 40 and has no kids and no sympathy. Does anyone have any stories about their work and maternity leave ?

I'm going to Fiji on a cruise this year for my eighteenth and plan to go to Europe on a contiki tour sometime soon too, so the travel bug will be worn out, and I agree that you don't lose holidays, they just turn into family holidays. The only thing I am now worried about is that because I started my new job this month, I will not be eligible for paid maternity leave as you must be an employee for well over a year.. Not oby that but my boss is over 40 and has no kids and no sympathy. Does anyone have any stories about their work and maternity leave ?

You would be eligible for Maternity leave as long as you have been in the company for 12 months before you need to take it so really you only need to be there for 5 or 6 months before you fall pregnant.

DH is 24 almost 25 & I'm 21 and 3 weeks off 22. We got married just over a year ago and have just started TTC baby no.1. I have read so many books and watched Teen Mom & 16 & pregnant which is a tv series based in america but it is a real eye opener because it shows you the hard side of being a parent so young. Until you are 20 your still classified as a teen mom. Based on all of this I have tried to see the negative to try and make a more informed decision before starting a family. Now that I know what I do I know that DH & I are in a very good position to start a family but I still know that things could end up turning upside down when a baby arrives. DH & I are in a similar situation as you and your DP. We own two houses plus are going to be building on two blocks of land this year as DH is a qualified builder and he is trying to build his own business. DH & I are both in really great paying jobs. My question for you though is that have you considered whether you will want to go back to work once you are a mum? If you don't would DP be able to support you and bub? It's great that your working 3 jobs but have you thought that you may not be able to work 3 once bub is here? I only ask these questions as you will need to think about that. I have already decided that I want to be a stay at home mum at least for the first couple of years and I know that DH is in a position to support us and we won't be struggling.

I would highly recommend watching these tv series and reading up because you can make a more informed decision before you start TTC. Or even just learn as much as you can before you start TTC so that when it comes down to officially trying you will be more comfortable with your decision and the people that make negative comments about it you can go back at them and tell them that you really did consider everything and you KNOW that it was right for you both.

No one can tell you if your too young or not because I know from experience that only you know yourself. DH & I were scared to tell people that we were getting married because we were so young and were scared of what people would say. It was more of a shock to people when we said that it wasn't going to be a long engagement like alot of young people do these days. Even to this day we hesitate to tell people we are married because we don't want to hear their negativity! So I know exactly what it's like to think that people are going to say your too young smile

I really hope this hasn't come across as a lecture because I really mean it all as my own experience and advice I would give anyone no matter what age if they asked me smile

Good luck with whatever decision you make and I look forward to seeing you back on huggies when it is TTC time for you smile

ALSO SORRY FOR THE NOVEL REPLY!!

You advice was great thank you I have read lots of books and I will watch those tv series that's a great idea.
As for the work, I plan to have half a year off then hopefully start part time work again as I know my DP can support me. Child care wouldn't be an option as my DPs mum stays at home and is willing to look after our bub. Although at work at the moment I'm on a three month probation period so I don't start full time until April . I'm not planning to start trying until. October November time so I'm hoping I will just scrape into the maternity leave entitlements .

You advice was great thank you I have read lots of books and I will watch those tv series that's a great idea.
As for the work, I plan to have half a year off then hopefully start part time work again as I know my DP can support me. Child care wouldn't be an option as my DPs mum stays at home and is willing to look after our bub. Although at work at the moment I'm on a three month probation period so I don't start full time until April . I'm not planning to start trying until. October November time so I'm hoping I will just scrape into the maternity leave entitlements .

Well it sounds like you have definately been giving it a lot of thought so good luck smile

Thank you smile

If you are capable of doing it then yes.But id make sure you have finished any schooling you want to do and if you plan on getting married id do it before so its easier to plan and i just think its nice for kids to grow up with both parents married i think it gives them a sense of security.My sister inlaw isnt married and has two kids age 5 and 6 and they keep asking why shes not married.

I really don't think marriage has any relevance whatsoever. If kids ask why you aren't married - then tell them? I don't get why it matters if kids wonder why? I think a stable, loving and equal relationship gives kids a sense of security, irrespective of marriage or otherwise.

I believe that a lot of people grow personally at different times. I had travel and life experiences before I was 20. Other people I know would not have had those experiences when they were 30 and yet people would not consider this too young to have kids. So to say you have your life ahead of you - I agree but life doesn't end just because you have children. Yes it is a big deal but you don't become a caged animal for life. And having children will help you to learn a lot about yourself. Whether you were 20 or 40 I believe the process would be similar.

I really don't think marriage has any relevance whatsoever. If kids ask why you aren't married - then tell them? I don't get why it matters if kids wonder why? I think a stable, loving and equal relationship gives kids a sense of security, irrespective of marriage or otherwise.

I agree marriage is important but slightly over rated... That's just my opinion but I'm not married do really I can't say. I think a child is even bigger commitment than marriage. I want my children to be a part of my wedding because it's a celebration of all of our love not just mine and my partners.