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What No one will tell you about TTC Rss

These are some thoughts from other women who have experienced disappointment month after month. some of them you may identify with them and some may make you sad. Have a read and may you be enlightened keeping hope, that your bundle of joy may come.


That unprotected sex doesn't necessarily lead to pregnancy.

That your sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.

That you would see your OBGYN/RE more often than your DH at O time.

That the longer you TTC, the more PG women spring up around you.

That deep down inside, I can be a very jealous person.

That one day you wouldn't mind checking your CM or CP to see if it is your fertile period.

That I should have gone to medical school like my mom wanted, because I've had to do so much medical research by now just to figure out what was wrong with me, I might as well be an M.D.

That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors I go to.

That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm

That you never knew how much you wanted to see those 2 pink lines......until only one shows up every month

That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant. (your dh has to do some work too)

That you have no control over some of the goals you set...

That wishing really hard for something doesn't make it happen, and staring at your chart doesn't make it change!

That one day my DH would know so much about how my uterus functions and what it looks like from the inside (thanks HSGs).

That a pregnancy doesn't always equal a baby.

That miscarriage is so common.

That I would wish we had started TTC earlier.

That my friends' pregnancies would start to make me sad instead of happy.

That I wasted ALOT of money on Birth control pills!!

That it would help bring a group of wonderful, caring, funny, empathetic women together like this.


That it wouldn't happen the first time you didn't use birth control like we were led to believe in school.

That you wouldn't know how important a baby was to you until it took so long and you realized what you were willing to go through to make it happen.

That family would act like getting pregnant was a competition between all the young couples in the family, and the first one to get pg "wins".

That my DH is the most wonderful and caring man!

That it is insensitive to ask people when they are having a baby!

Tat women who do get pregnant are so very blessed!

That I could have been rich saving money on condoms, which were obviously unecessary.

That I would be happy to see abundant cervial fluid and tell my DH about it.

That other people's "good news" of pregnancy makes me sad and when they tell me they have good news, I hope that they just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.

That medicine and procedures are not a sure fire way to get pregnant but it is a sure fire way to lose money fast.

That had I bought stock in Clearblue Easy I'd have my mansion on St. Pete's Beach in FL by now.

That docs should prescribe Zoloft with Clomid.

That having flo show up makes you cry, no matter who's bathroom you are in.

That it does not get easier, each cycle is harder than the last.

Feeling like you wish your life away in 2 week increments.

That I wouldn't want to hold or see someone's baby because it just hurts way too much.

That a group of "strangers" who I will probably never meet, have now become my "best friends" when it comes to ttc.

That I would splash urine on my face while taking apart an hpt in the hopes there really was a 2nd pink line hiding in it.

That talking about sex with fellow TTCers would be so easy.

That infertility is more common than you think.

That DH would get used to doing his 'thing' in a jar.

That one day all of this will make us stronger.

That there is sometimes darkness (infertility) before the light (a baby).

That no one I know (in my non FF life) would have any understanding as to how I feel.

That my temper and patience are much shorter than I ever thought.

That infertility is not as rare as I was led to believe.

That I would find it extremely difficult to be happy for other people's pregnancies and I would burst into tears upon hearing their news.

That my faith in God would be tested heavily.

That I would make so many new, wonderful friends who totally get how I feel because we all suffer from the same affliction of infertility.

That it could hurt so much to lose your innocence.

That I am very bitter towards unmarried accidental pgcys, and slightly bitter towards married accidental pgcys.

That there is nothing to aid conception in the water at work, despite what some may say.

That I am so glad my neice was born when she was, early in our ttc, because if she were born now I don't think I could deal with it.

That someone I thought to be my best friend would hurt me by saying that she was sick of hearing about my efforts at ttc.

That I'd discover who my true friends are, both IRL and online.

That I'd ever be able to bond with my step-sister (also infertile).

That I'd be glad to know that I have PCOS - because at least I know what's wrong.

That I would know about other peoples' BD, CP, CM but not know there real name, their DH's name, or their occupation.

That I could spend so much time and money on figuring out what my body is doing (or not doing).

That I would have to rely on doctors to give me the final say-so on what I can or can't do (on a med/procedure break forced by my RE against my wishes)

That foreplay would consist of DH asking "How's your cervix today"

That an HSG will tell you more than just whether or not your tubes are blocked. I had no idea your uterus could be misshaped.

That one person could be "cursed" with so many different fertility problems.

That I should have become a gyno-which I think at this point I know more then some.

That sex would ever become a chore!

That actually having a miscarriage would allow me to understand the loss that others have felt.

That miscarriage would make me want a baby even more than before!

That I would resent someone who has been trying less time than me telling me "I know how you feel..."

That DH would be overly concerned that our BD positions were the most effective ones!

That I would become NUMB to the wonderful world around me that I already have (DH, DD, family, friends, dogs, fun, etc)!

That I would become addicted to POAS and not sleep at night because I couldn't wait to POAS in the morning!

That I would be so sad, and ashamed.

That I would learn to speak in code
Like I checked Cm which was EWCM but when I will POAS who knows, dh won't let me for fear of BFN

That when AF showed up you would feel broken and disfunctional.

That your friendships with your real life girlfriends would suffer because they got pregnant after being off the pill for 3 weeks.

That this would be, by far, one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through.

That you HAVE to have sex even though you don't feel like it, but because your FM says high or peak.

That people would pity you and feel sorry for you.

That I would meet such wonderful group of people that I can share my sorrow, frustration and fears with.

That I would be going to a psychic to find out if there was a baby in my future (she told me twins in 3 to 5 months!)

That I would dream about taking my temperature and be disappointed if I woke up at 3am and it wasn't time yet.

That I would stop fantasizing about having a baby because it stopped making me happy.

That I would buy herbs and otc creams like vitex and progest, use them for two days, and then chicken out.

That I would hear well-meaning questions like: "Have you thought of taking your temperature?" (and this is after 20 months TTC...)

That my brother, who started TTC at the same time we did and whose wife got PG three months later, would go on and on telling me how tough and tiring life with a baby is, and then finish with: "You have no idea what it's like!"

That the two little words of "just relax" uttered by everyone I know would infuriate me beyond belief.

That someone would suggest adoption to me in order to get pregnant (because it happened to a friend of theirs) before I had even had any testing done.

That we would have to schedule a BD session so DH could do it in a cup a few days later.


That my friends who started TTC #1 around the same time we did would already be pregnant with #2 before we get pregnant with #1.

That I wouldn't be able to attend my friend's babies 1st birthday parties because of the quesiton, "So, when are ya'll going to have children."

That the people around me would become more insensitive as time goes on. "It is so hard having a new baby, you just wouldn't understand." or "Be happy you're not tied down."

That I would watch a Baby Story every day... only to cry every day.

That it puts this much strain on a marriage.

That I spent years trying not to get pregnant, and praying for my period. Now I can't seem to lose the witch!

It's good to know I am not alone.

That I would have to listen to people complain about their children as if they were burdens while a child is the one thing in the world I want the most. Also, they sound as if they are trying to talk me out of having kids, like it is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to me.

That being overweight would cause people to ask when I'm due, which in turn could cause me to cry.

That I would yell at commercials on the TV (that "having a baby changes everything" one really gets to me. I can't watch it without snapping "So does not having one.")

That I would have to stop watching Birth Day and A Baby Story (two shows I love) because it just hurts too much.

That every girl should go to the gyn as soon as she gets AF the first time. If I had, I would have been dx with PCOS a lot faster.

That a friend would hid and ignore her own pregnancy to try to keep me from being upset. (we found out when she gave birth)

That your body has its own mind.

That you would be keeping it a secret from everyone.

That you would cry your eyeballs out because AF showed.

That you would be jealous when everyone around you get pg including your 16yo cousin.

That you would tell everyone you're not ready for a child when they ask what your waiting for.

Life as you know it will be interrupted for two weeks.

That the broken heart you feel each month that is equal to the pain you feel when you lose a loved one.

That all of a sudden nursing other people's babies becomes a depressing NOT joyful feeling

That you feel useless as a female

That you will soon be lying through your teeth telling people that you don't want children

That you feel that your body has betrayed you by not delivering a regular cycle, the right about of the required "hormones" or doing what it should now how to do.

That you feel stupid and naive for thinking a pregnancy would occur "when it was supposed to".

That answering questions (and usually lying) about pregnancy or family plans would hurt so bad.

I can relate to most of these! So very true!!

"That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant." I don't know how many times people have said, you just need to relax and stop thinking about it and it will happen sad Umm.. pretty sure after 2 years that relaxing isn't going to do much for me!

It's good to know other people can relate!
T xo


Thanks for posting that... perfect timing, as received an email today from a girlfriend in England, which now makes me the last coupled person in my extended freindship and family networks who IS NOT YET PREGNANT. Only found my partner 3 years ago; we have been TTC for 18 months (he has two sons to his ex) and we're currently going through the preliminary stages of IVF (police and children checks, after the fun of HSG tests etc.). We live 6.5 hours drive from the nearest fertility service, so the whole IVF thing is going to be particularly exhausting with travel (and being relaxed - ha!)

So thanks for sending a coo-ee out to all of us who are feeling like no-one has a clue about what we're going through - not even our partners. I was 6 days late on my last cycle (for the first time since I was 13 years old) and my partner was convinced I was pregnant (due to mood swings and an uncanny ability of mine to attract dogs during that time), but no - and my GP and what feels like everyone else shrugs in sympathy (but not empathy) and seems to imply that it's no big deal...when i feel quite the opposite. I can get so angry at times; plus I'm avoiding spending time with my young nephew, 'cos I'm sick of being what feels like "the spinster Aunt in the background". It also drives me up the wall when I put in 100 per cent in parenting my stepsons, and seem to be treated like someone who has "no standing", to use a legal term, when it comes to being identified with motherhood, altruism and caring for others.

If any of us who identifies with these actually ever does get to have a biological child of their own - by goodness, that child will feel loved!

Keep smiling - if you're at the bottom of the abyss, remember that you can't get any lower and, statistically, things will get better.
I've been trying for a while and when I came across it I related to most of these, there is thing like just relax! I mean I'm ovulating perfect bbt charts and pinpointed ovulation, no blockage all else is normal but nothing month after month, DP's spermies are ok! And then am just left out whilst everyone around me just keeps popping babies! But there's always light at the end of the tunnel

Myself and my partner have been having unportected sex for 4 years and i never once fell pregnant.. We tried and tried,.. Eventually i gave up on getting my hopes up high as i didn't think it would ever happen to me. So i began planning my wedding that's the next big dream many woman have... i concieved my baby on the wedding night... So maybe relaxing and not trying to think about it works. Or maybe there is a plan for everyone and it is suppose to happen "At the right time"
I Think its all In God's timing, were are the least fertile species! lol! but am so glad you got what you had long waited for, maybe marriage was the condition for your miracle! Its when you try that its so hard! Some have it better than others!

OMG this is so true, hit the nail rigt on the head.
we have been ttc for over 12 months now took about 14 months of ttc with our beautiful who is now 2 1/2 years old, can't wait to give her a sibling, each month i think maybe this maybe "that month" but no the dreaded turn up sad, It feels good to know that i am not alone, it just seems that all my close friends all have no dramas in falling they only have to " look at it" and fall but not us...
WOW all of them are so spot on.
I am blessed to have 2 children already, my girls will be turning 9 & 2 this month.
We have been TTC #3 for 12 months now, so it is not becoming all very confusing to me as to how I managed to have 2, thinking it was SO easy & now having to go through all these tests to figure out what is going on.
My heart breaks for everyone who is struggling with infertility, I know I would be upset if I was told that I couldn't have anymore but just cannot comprehend how you would feel, if you were struggling to have one.
You are right it seems like there are pregnant women everywhere yet I was extremely suprised to see atleast 50 women in the fertility waiting room on Monday morning for their blood tests/treatments etc etc
It definitely isnt something that is spoken about very openly, I even saw a a girl I knew there and she just completely ignored me, I was SO surprised, but then I guess I dont know her story but I was just going to say hi.
We did ivf for 9 years before having it finally work july 2008...but sadly it wasnt to be.
I turned 40 nov 2008 and we were going to give up but after our only successful test decided to try just one more time.
So feb 2009 our last round of icsi ivf was started and in nov 2009 just 6 days before i turned 41 we gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She will be our only one due to my age + we feel very blessed to even have one:-)
All of our ivf's were fresh cycles as the older I got my eggs got more viable but less of them.
We did give up for a year or so & went travelling overseas & Australia, so forgetting about it and resting didnt work for us unfortunately.
I want to wish all those ttc the very best of luck.
Just wanna say good luck to all of you TTC, and thanks Mizz Hilz for posting this. I didn't have much trouble with my little one, so i have no idea what you and all others who are TTC are going through. I probably would have been one of those who would suggest relaxing or stop making BD a chore and just enjoy it. I would never have thought how much it could and would hurt...

Very eye opening, and i thank you for posting it. HOpefuly now i can be a lot kinder and thoughful when talking to people who are TTC



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