Scared of having another!

Hi all, This is going to be an odd topic but my brain is messing me around. DH and I are TTC#4 but in the back of my head I'm petrified of going through it all again, even though I desperately want another!! When I gave birth to my second child, we were both very lucky to have survived. I dont know the full story, because my mum wont tell me and I dont remember, but what I do know is we are both lucky to be breathing. When I had my 3rd, it wasnt so horrendous, but my mum struggled and couldnt stay cos she was having flash backs so im taking it that it was bad.
#4 means im going to be sic all over again and with 3 active children DD 9, DS 5, DS 3 and my hubby away at work I dont have time to be sick, but the thing that scares me the most is labour!!
I LOVE kids, Im the type that would have 10. I love being a mummy and everything about it. I want another child, DH DESPERATELY wants another. Am I being silly for having these fears? Am I alone with these fears? I cant talk to DH cos one day im all excited for another and next Im no i really dont want one and the above is why. I wish I would just be preg and then have no choice lol.
Thankyou for hearing me vent, cant talk to anyone else bout this fear.

Perhaps you need too find out what exactly went on during your labours and then maybe have a chat to a midwife and see if there are any ways you could work around it?? A c-section maybe? I'm sorry I'm not much help lol I don't know much about this stuff. But this is what I would be doing smile

I agree with Smitten_by_my_little one! You need to find out exactly what went on during your labours to be able to get over your fears. If it something serious you need to be able to understand and make a choice and prepare yourself.
It is natural to have fears, we all want everything to be perfect but it isn't always the case. My first labour I was told would be slow 1hr 45 mins later in the back of the ambulance my first child arrived:) Second labour had so many fears racing through my head if we were going to get to the hospital on time and if we did would they send me home like they did the first? Of course it wasn't as serious as almost dying and even something like what i went through with my first was hard enough to deal with, so at least if you know the full history of your labours you can heal from them smile