hi everyone

just wondering for those who had a miscarriage before and are now pregnant or been pregnant since then dealt with the fear that it was going to happen again. i am really paranoid at the moment that I'm going to lost this bubba too and its rather draining. i keep trying to think positively but its hard with the how the last two pregnancies ended. Thanks in advance.

It's so hard not to think about it, isn't it?
As much as I believe this is my sticky bub that's going to make it, sometimes the thought that something might go wrong still enters my mind. You and I have both been there twice, and it's hard to forget. Sometimes when I went to the toilet in the first 2 weeks after my BFP, I was half expecting to see blood and for it to be all over!

But for me, this pregnancy is different. I saw my baby's heartbeat yesterday, and I've never had a baby with a heartbeat before! I am feeling confident because I know that there's only a 3% chance of MC because I've made it to 8 weeks (almost) and there's a strong heartbeat. smile

I am surrounding myself with positive people, thinking positive thoughts, and forcing myself to focus only on the good things around me. Believing in this bub helps me. I haven't forgotten the babies I lost, and I know you haven't either. Just think positive xx

It's hard sweetie so freakin hard not to think those thoughts sad
I lost two bubs back to back last year one was a out most shock still not over it honestly and then straight after had a chemical pregnancy.
Iv got my scan Monday and as much as im excited I'm crapping myself thinking there will be no heart beat sad
Iv gone as far as not wearing the pj pants I was wearing the night I had the first loss I feel like there jinxed!!
As Mel said try to think positive even though these thoughts consume your mind constantly. I think I'm nearly further along then I was the first time I lost bubs so that gives me a peace of mind.
Try to keep yourself occupied with things and think sweet thoughts of the gorgeous bubba growing within you hun smile
I think it's normal for us to freak out a bit I know I'm scared of setting myself up for disappointment but hopefully I see a heart beat Monday and I will have less fears.
Stay strong and know your not the only one hun xx

Thanks ladies I had a bit of a freak out this morning as I had a darker then normal discharge and was really thirsty which I had just before I miscarried the first bub. Been rather sore this time around too but doc says thats normal. DH calmed me down and is keeping me busy good luck with your scan on monday I'll bugs I'm sure everything's going to be fine. Happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts

It's hard sweetie so freakin hard not to think those thoughts sad
I lost two bubs back to back last year one was a out most shock still not over it honestly and then straight after had a chemical pregnancy.
Iv got my scan Monday and as much as im excited I'm crapping myself thinking there will be no heart beat sad
Iv gone as far as not wearing the pj pants I was wearing the night I had the first loss I feel like there jinxed!

I've also thrown away the PJ's that I was wearing when I miscarried. I just couldn't wear them again.

Good luck for your scan on Monday smile Fingers crossed for a strong heartbeat!

Thanks ladies I had a bit of a freak out this morning as I had a darker then normal discharge and was really thirsty which I had just before I miscarried the first bub. Been rather sore this time around too but doc says thats normal. DH calmed me down and is keeping me busy good luck with your scan on monday I'll bugs I'm sure everything's going to be fine. Happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts

Banish all of those thoughts!!!
We're here for you to shower you in positivity when you need it smile

It's really hard dealing with them. When I found out I was pregnant this baby I kept checking and expecting to see blood everytime I went to the toilet. I saw my obstetrician very early on and felt in good hands. Luckily for me, she has a little ultrasound machine so every month she would have a look and I would see baby's strong heartbeat. So each month I would have that reassurance. She also sent me for scans at 7 weeks, 12 weeks, 19 weeks and 30 weeks. These have all been reassuring for me.

I had a thyroid problem, so she was very quick to send me off to an endocrinologist - so I've been monitered closely with blood tests as well. All these checkups have helped me psychologically with dealing with my fears.

I would also set little milestones - At first they were weekly milestones and then my major milestone was at 13 weeks (when it was discovered that I had a missed miscarriage with my 2nd baby). Once I got passed 13 weeks, I relaxed a bit more.

Then it got easier to deal with once I started feeling my baby move.

I also prayed to God.

Anyway, those things helped me.

I really hope you have a sticky bub and best wishes to you during your pregnancy.

God it's had, I miscarried three time last year. I am pregnant again and it terrifies me. My GP actually referred me to a grief specialist psychologist.

He was great, I saw him just the once because he thought that's all I needed. He assured me it's normal to experience anxiety after miscarriage and to become 'hyper vigilant' as he called it, in the next pregnancy.

He basically told me that I have to change my thought patterns, when I find my thought wandering down the negative path, I need to physically stop what I am doing and change my thought pattern. As he said, you can't change your emotions, but you can change your thoughts. Your thoughts will eventually influence your emotions if you consistanly change them. It's quite exhausting having to talk yourself out of negative thought patterns initally. But eventually it works (or helps anyway), and I feel a lot more positive.

He also told me it was important to use positive language everyday. 'when' not 'if', when refering to the baby etc. You have to plan and make the assumption that everything is going to be OK for the outset. If you don't you are setting yourself up for failure. If for some reason things don't work out, then you greive and move on like every other time. You have done it before and you can do it again.

I felt with my DD that I spent the whole pregnancy assuming that she wasn't going to be OK. I robbed myself of the joy of pregnancy. And I can't do that again. It's not fair on me.

I'm sure you've heard all that guff before, but it's helpful to be reminded sometimes.

Iv only had one miscarriage and two healthy babies after, this is my third pregnancy and I still keep saying if this baby sticks around we can do this and that, i always put if at the start of everything i say about it and i dont mean to but i think its my little protector word or something.
Im just desperate to get to 12 weeks but then i know after 12 weeks i will still keep worrying.
Try and keep positive as hard as it is, or do things that keep your thoughts from wandering to that place, goodluck!!