Hi,

My 16 month old ds had a rough first year with meningitis, a abscess he needed to have a operation to remove as well as a LOT of throat and ear infections and a lactose intolerance...
They picked up that one of his kidneys had a bit of dilation in it after his operation which they are following up and the pead isn't too concerned.
My problem is that he walks around crying all of the time!!
At the moment he is the 'healthiest' he has been but I am being paranoid there is something going on.. I feel like going to the doctor and asking him to do tests but I feel like one of those mums who worry excessively!
He has major separation anxiety and I wonder if that's why he walks around crying cos he wants cuddles..
I just worry that something serious might come out later and I will be kicking myself I didn't follow my 'motherly instinct'..
I just don't know if I'm just worried because he had a rough start.. What do you think?

Thanks x

Hi there, my DD and I had a rough start too but was mostly feeding issues, severe UTI undiagnosed by GP for so long she ended up in hospital and having vaginal bleeding come and go for a year which we now know what it is but didnt for around 11mths.

After all my experiences I have learnt to trust your instincts. At the end of the day what have you wasted by getting him checked out, some time and money (we dont pay for under 6 in NZ dont know where you are) on the other hand if something is going on then you can start the process to find out what. And you will feel alot better and may be able to stop worrying.

As you have contact with the hospital, if you are still seeing your pediatrician otherwise you culd ask your GP about this, you could ask for a referal to the children mental health area. We have been with them for nearly a year now doing play therapy and it has made a huge difference. I didnt realise how bad the relationship between my DD and I was not bad in a way of us not loving each other etc but just how stressed it was from all the anxienty i had over her not eating and being sick and her worrying all the time as she picked up on how i was feelng and acting which i didnt realise and how she felt with her own emotions about food. Even though she cant remember specifics about what happened they say there is still the feelings, imprint, emotions etc from that time which is there and it can affect them so if he has been through all those traumatic things then he might be feeling a bit off because of that and he my have picked up on your anxiety and stress about it all(with good reason id have anxiety and stess too if id been through what you had). On the other hand it might be nothing like this, but thought I would mention it incase you wanted to go down the track of finding out, they should let you now pretty early on like 1st couple of appoinments whether or not it is because of what has hapened and if they can hellp you.

Good luck I hope he is feeling happier soon and remeber to take care of yourself too smile

I can sympathize, my DD was born at 25 weeks, so we have had several medical problems!
Honestly though, if this is out of character for you're wee one, demand those tests! You're better to be safe than sorry, and trust you're instincts smile