My big little guy is 4 in April and he has started lying to me, things like
Did you wet your pants? No
Did you push your brother? No
Did you draw all over this? No

He also blames his almost 2 yr old brother for things too. Even when I tell him he won't get in trouble he still lies. I know it is a developmental stage and normal for his age, which I accept, but I don't know how to deal with it when it happens. Any suggestions?

They say that it's brighter children that lie earlier, so that's a positive. wink

Could you use statements rather than questions if it's a situation he may feel more inclined to lie. Even though you've told him he won't be in trouble, it's a self preservation strategy.

For example, "Oh, you look like you've wet your pants. Let's go get a new pair."
or "Our books are for reading, not drawing".

I know these may seem a bit funny, but a version that would be appropriate for you and him.

I find asking 'tell me what happened' gets less lies than a closed question that can only be a yes or a no. It might be lying or a perspective issue. Maybe he sees wetting his pants as something he did on purpose or he hasn't notice because he's distracted. With pushing maybe he didn't push him, maybe he bumped into him.

my 3yr DD has just started doing to a bit too, so ill be watching this thread lol

ive found what nightmonkey_daymonkey suggested to work alot of the time. i asked her one time:
'did you throw that toy at your brother?'
'No mummy'
'well tell me what happened'
'was waving it and it fell out of my hand'

shed done it completely by accident so i told her to be more careful, when id said throw she thought just that, a deliberate action to hurt her brother which wasnt the case..so really she wasnt lying but its more of a confused communication situation.

however she definately blames her almost 2yr olf brother for many things shes done or will point out something hes done with excitement so she can watch me tell him off 'mummy mummy look what kaiaan done!' then i go in and hes drawing on the floor or something as shes grinning waiting for me to yell at him <img src='http://www.huggies.com.au/forum/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dry.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='<_<' />

i have a 6 year old ds and due to some behavioural issues he lies a lot.

if i say nothing and continue on without bringing attention to the lie he lies more often.

i guess it depends on the child though. the other girls suggestions are great, however with my ds he will lie without needed a question aimed at him. so i find that if i remind him at the time that he wont get in trouble and that i just need to know what happened he tends to tell me. failing that he is a bad lier and its written all over his face.

oh and my ds will try and blame other people. Its always my fault that he has tantrums and gets angry, of course he has never done anything wrong. again i find reminding him how the situation came about will make him see things differently.

Hopefully its just a fase and he stops doing it. Good luck i know its not much fun.

So much for little kids dont lie lol

Yep I'd be more inclined to ask questions that require a sentence answer than a yes or no.

Studies show that the sole reason people lie are to avoid consequences - so he might be a little apprehensive about 'owning up'. If it's a conversation rather than a directed question he should learn pretty quick that he's not going to get into trouble for something like wetting his pants.

I remember my cousin walked outside on morning and saw that some-one had drawn flowers and stars on his van with a pink marker so he went inside and called his 4year old daugher over, asked her if she did it and she replied no. Having knowing it was her he asked her who she thought did it, she replied it must of been her 2 and half year old sister lol
So he called her over and said Lily did you do the beautiful drawings of flowers and stars on daddys van, I think theyre the best flowers and stars ive ever seen, then quickly his 4 year old shouts no daddy it was me it was me, I did the pretty drawings hahahaha This had me laughing for hours. Just thought it was a good example of how creative you can get with finding out the truth =)

My big little guy is 4 in April and he has started lying to me, things like
Did you wet your pants? No
Did you push your brother? No
Did you draw all over this? No

He also blames his almost 2 yr old brother for things too. Even when I tell him he won't get in trouble he still lies. I know it is a developmental stage and normal for his age, which I accept, but I don't know how to deal with it when it happens. Any suggestions?

I think that the key is asking what happened as opposed to asking a question requiring a simple "yes" or "no".

These were MUCH older kids so I'm not actually suggesting it as a solution - I just thought it was amusing...

A mum at school where I teach was having a really bad time with her kids lying constantly. One day she told them all excitedly that they were going to the movies. She got them all hyped up about it, got them dressed and into the car, started the car, sat for a minute then turned the engine off and said "sorry, I lied. We aren't going to the movies". Her kids were beyond upset, but the lying stopped pretty quickly after that!