toddler taming

Hey.

Id be interested to see what some of you who've read this book think of the stance the author takes on fussy eaters and smacking?

Especially more peaceful parenting typed members.

Cheers. X

I haven't read it. I don't have a toddler yet (well she's 1, but still well behaved lol) but my thoughts are that toddlers need rules and to learn right from wrong, but that at the age of 2, 3, 4 they do not have the capacity to control their emotions well or to reason and fully understand consequences before they do something. For that reason, I intend to take a more gentle approach to tantrums and "bad" behavior rather than smack or exclude with time out etc. Having never parented a toddler, I don't know exactly how I will go about managing these things, but I will finding out fairly soon! What are your thoughts Noddy?

Skubala wrote:
I haven't read it. I don't have a toddler yet (well she's 1, but still well behaved lol) but my thoughts are that toddlers need rules and to learn right from wrong, but that at the age of 2, 3, 4 they do not have the capacity to control their emotions well or to reason and fully understand consequences before they do something. For that reason, I intend to take a more gentle approach to tantrums and "bad" behavior rather than smack or exclude with time out etc. Having never parented a toddler, I don't know exactly how I will go about managing these things, but I will finding out fairly soon! What are your thoughts Noddy?

I've just started reading toddler tactics and I think its very useful and makes sense iykwim?
It basically says not to go one way or the other. Dont be extremely strict and smack for everything and mot to go completelypassive either.
Its all about a happy medium and accepting that children will behave like children not like adults. It takes the stance that discipline is about teaching not punishing.
It suits my parenting style well I think.

Mimsey wrote:
Haven't read it but maintain it depends on the child as to what approach to use be it smacking, time out, or just saying no...

DS managed well with a naughty corner for a while, but I did smack if what he did was bad enough, like taking off and running across the road.. DD not so much, I have yet to find a discipline/behaviour management technique that works on her...

Maybe have a look at toddler taming? It explains toddler behaviour and what is normal and how different techniques work.

Who is the author? Is toddler tactics the one by Pinky McKay? I read her book "sleeping like a baby" and really liked her approach, so I think I'll get her toddler book when the time is right. I agree you can't let them run a muck I just think you need to be mindful that little minds don't function the same as ours and that tantrums are a way for children to express themselves - so we need to help them learn how to express those thoughts and feelings in a more appropriate way. I don't think that punishing them is always the answer, although discipline certainly has its place. I guess it's about reading each situation and making a decision about that particular child at that particular moment.

Skubala wrote:
Who is the author? Is toddler tactics the one by Pinky McKay? I read her book "sleeping like a baby" and really liked her approach, so I think I'll get her toddler book when the time is right. I agree you can't let them run a muck I just think you need to be mindful that little minds don't function the same as ours and that tantrums are a way for children to express themselves - so we need to help them learn how to express those thoughts and feelings in a more appropriate way. I don't think that punishing them is always the answer, although discipline certainly has its place. I guess it's about reading each situation and making a decision about that particular child at that particular moment.

You've basically described the foundations of the book. Except that discipline and punishment are two different things

Mimsey wrote:
Toddler taming by christopher green?

Thats the one. smile

T.R.E.E wrote:
I think you're spot on with the discipline is about teaching not punishing, the word discipline comes from disciples which the definition of disciples is- students or followers of a leader or teacher. I sound religious saying that haha.

I have read toddler taming & think it's a really good book, especially for like you said someone with a parenting style somewhat in the middle range of strict & passive.

Another good book is, Discipline Without Shouting Or Spanking by Jerry Wyckoff.

My view on toddlers & their crazy behaviour is that they are children not adults so they should be expected to carry on the way they do sometimes & that punishing them for what is normal behaviour for their level of developement isn't fair & doesn't usually help anyway, & allowing them complete freedom to act the way they do with no consequences only reenforces the crazy behaviour & doesn't teach them what the correct way to behave is.

Im pretty much in agreeance

I'm reading the 2006 version of it at the moment and finding it very helpful- I haven't got that far in it as I don't have alot of time to read at the moment sad loving the author though, he makes sense and loves what he says about not eating dinner etc..

He helps me see where dd is coming from and he has helped me not to stress over non problems lol I agree when he says we see normal two year old behavior as naughty. Now I know it's part of developing I can deal with alot of dd's stuff better smile

I might have to give it a read then, sounds like it is in line with how I hope to raise my soon to be toddler smile

TallulahBelle wrote:
I'm reading the 2006 version of it at the moment and finding it very helpful- I haven't got that far in it as I don't have alot of time to read at the moment sad loving the author though, he makes sense and loves what he says about not eating dinner etc..

He helps me see where dd is coming from and he has helped me not to stress over non problems lol I agree when he says we see normal two year old behavior as naughty. Now I know it's part of developing I can deal with alot of dd's stuff better smile

Im reading the 2001 version.
I really like the way he openly says that "the experts" are well versed in theory but when it comes to actual parenting (for those who are childless) they really dont know what they are talking about. Lol.

He surveyed his colleagues and half said their discipline was often far from effective.

He's studied his own patients, his own kids and his colleagues to devise a way to parent that states there is no right way just different variants that suit different parents and children.

Thats what I like about it anyway smile

Yep- he knows theory is not always reality when it comes to toddlers lol I had to laugh when he said something about toddlers not eating and mum ends up having a bigger tantrum than the toddler (oops...I'm guilty of that on one occasion sad ) and the toddler sits back and sees how much power he has! Love the way he writes!

What's your dd up to Noddy? Is she starting the tantrums etc..? How's she going in the big bed?