Advice please

hi i need some advice/opinions please..
Split with my baby dad 3 months ago after 6 years of constant abuse physical and verbal, being controlled isolated and taken for granted i'd finally had enough and left after my soon to be 3 year old son witnessed his dad attacking me and came to hug me and mop my tears up.
Anyway tho my ex is mental towards me sending me threats and being nasty he is a good dad and i have allowed him access to see our son and he has him onnc a week for the night (as i don't want to stop their contact, no matter what i think of my sons dad, my son needs him and loves him) our arrangement was going well until the last two sundays when my ex decided he wasn't dropping my son home to me and that he wants to go for full custody. I have my son back now but i don't know what to do.. should i go through courts for shared custody before i let them have contact again or so at least set days/visiting hours are in place? I'm sick of the inconsistancy and threats not to bring my son back though i don't want to stop them seeing each other, i don't want my ex to run away with him either..

My advice is to itiate Family Law Court proceeding immediatley. Without an order in place you have absolutley no rights in terms of making your ex bring him back to you. Given he has a history of controlling behaviors it is to be expected that he will continue to seek control in the ongoing relationship that you have in terms of the continued contact with your little boy. Good luck x

Take it from someone who has been there in your shoes, please run, don't walk straight to ur nearest family court and get a lawyer involved to put something in place immediately before you give your ex any visits.
My DHs ex did the same as what your saying your ex is doing and without a court order in place you will find his behavior getting worse. Of course there are some people who contravene court orders, but that's when you have the right to give then police a call or go back to court to put stricter visitation limits in place.
I can't comment on what type of visitation you should allow the dad but it definately needs to be in writing and he made aware he can't kidnap your son.
There are some horrific stories played out in the media about custody situations, and it does help for something legal to be organized to help your situation!

Take it from someone who has been there in your shoes, please run, don't walk straight to ur nearest family court and get a lawyer involved to put something in place immediately before you give your ex any visits.
My DHs ex did the same as what your saying your ex is doing and without a court order in place you will find his behavior getting worse. Of course there are some people who contravene court orders, but that's when you have the right to give then police a call or go back to court to put stricter visitation limits in place.
I can't comment on what type of visitation you should allow the dad but it definately needs to be in writing and he made aware he can't kidnap your son.
There are some horrific stories played out in the media about custody situations, and it does help for something legal to be organized to help your situation!

thank you for this i will contact my lawyer immediately and get the ball rolling smile

My advice is to itiate Family Law Court proceeding immediatley. Without an order in place you have absolutley no rights in terms of making your ex bring him back to you. Given he has a history of controlling behaviors it is to be expected that he will continue to seek control in the ongoing relationship that you have in terms of the continued contact with your little boy. Good luck x

thank you, you are right about the control thing, good to hear others thoughts as i'm too bloody nice and trusting for my own good..