Lack of interest

My son (Tyler)'s bioligical father has not had any contact with either myself or Tyler for over 2 years and now all of a sudden he wants regular visits and to form a relationship. As Tyler's father was abusive towards me and any other living creature in the house, I'm unsure of letting him have regular visits. I have said right from the word go that I don't want to stop Tyler's father from seeing him, but Tyler doesn't know who he is. I will be married in 3 weeks and want to get in writing that visitation should be at a minimum and that my soon to be husband, (the only father my son has ever known), should get custody if something should happen to me. However, I am unsure of what I am able to do, I know the courts are strict on parental rights. If anyone has any advice, it would be greatly appreciated. I will be going to seek help from Legal Aid ASAP.

this happened to me with DS1 and his dad... his dad didnt see him for 3 years and wanted visitation... we had legal papers in place, but because of the timeframe i had told him to go see his solicitor... ever since then i hadnt heard from him again (because it was too hard for him)

i really cant advise what you can and cant do.... but i wish you all the luck as i know how you feel right now