kids birthdays

Just been mulling over a mother at dds school.... she's only been going for 3 weeks so has still been getting to know her class mates. Anyway... when we did party invites I let dd decide who to invite. She chose 5 kids from her class.

In the week previous to this... I'd had coffee down town with a group of the new mums to introduce myself, say hi and get to know them a little. So all is good til the invites!

On the morning dd gave the invites out.... one of the mums that was at the coffee group was also at the class. She watched dd give them out, and looked EXTREMELY p'd off when her little boy didn't get one. Well.... for starters he's a boy... and dd hasn't really made friends with him in fact they've shown no interest in each other whatsoever so its hardly surprising that dd didn't choose him.

I'm kind of amused that this mother has gone from being super friendly to giving me stone cold glares every time I see her now! I feel like she's being a bit ridiculous!

The other thing is... the party was at the local pool. I felt responsible for the kids and didn't want too many to watch. As it was most of the parents stayed anyway as I'd told them they're more than welcome to considering its water.... but there were still some parents that chose not to come... and two of the kids were brought by their dads who sat & chatted without once looking up. So I was glad that the whole class wasn't invited as I had enough children to watch as it was! There were 12 kids all up and including dd I had 5 kids to watch.

Do you agree with me or do you think that because I had coffee with this mum that I should have invited her son?

I agree with you, this mother is being immature about this. After all, it was your dds choice with who she wants to invite to her party smile

For her to give you 'the look' just because her son wasnt invited just proves shes not worth getting along with wink

Hope your dd had a fantastic time with her pool party!! cool

I don't think you should have invited him, after all it is your DD's Birthday and there is no point of inviting kids she isn't actually friends with. It would have been a little different if you invited the whole calss but not her DS.

My DS has just started Kinder and I have told him he is aloud to invite 8 friends. Just because I chat with some of the mums doesn't mean DS is friends with their kids.

I think its pretty rude that she was cranky about it

no, i think she is being petty. at least now you know what she is like you don't have to bother with her.

it was your dd birthday and therfore up to her to choose. my sons birthday is in a month and am dreading the same thing.

i'm having the party at home and am not sure weather it is the proper thing to invite the parents too or just the kids. i worried as i don't want to upset anyone but at the same time don't want a full house as i'm preganant and have all sorts of problems (physical).

oh, well as long a your dd had fun that's all that matters.

She is being very petty if she has that sort of reaction to her child not being invited to a birthday party when her child isn't even friends with yours.

She is being pathetic - IMO!

No one should ever assume or be annoyed that they are/are not invited to anything! Everyone have reasons - be it the #'s attending or the cost involved - as to why they have to limit #'s.

Don't give it another thought.

I think the first few weeks of school can make parents a little crazy. I think parents can become really worried about their child being liked, and party invites can be very tricky. We had them being given out in the classroom at one stage but the teacher soon shut that down.
IF the mother is cranky about her child not being invited thats pretty sad, like you said it was your little girls choice and she should be able to choose.
BUT you never know what is happening in someones life and they may just be grumpy at the world for a very personal reason.
Maybe go up and say g'day and ask how her son is settling in. If she says anything about the party...easy...your daughter was given the job of social director and she had a great time you however felt like a life guard....

best of luck

It was your dd party and she invited who she wanted there. Party are for who you/your child are friends with.
This other mother is acting like a child. She the one with the problem and not you.

Sounds like everyone had a great time.

annndddd

The parents who left you to look after their children whilst super pregnant at a pool all need a massive kick up the butt! Seriously there is no way I would ask that of one of my friends when they are so close to birth...

I never expect my girls to get invited to parties, however I do feel that if invitations are 'exclusive' - ie, only given to some children and not others - then it is best to discretely hand them out to the parents of the children who are invited, so no one's feelings get hurt. And by that I mean the feelings of other children, not the parents! It can be devastating for a child to see another child getting an invitation when they don't get one themselves, particularly at that young age when they don't understand the dynamics of friendships. Those children may feel hurt, or that they are not liked, so on the occasions where we have parties when we only invite a few kids I discretely hand out invitations to the parents, and explain to them how I don't want other people to know because I don't want their feelings hurt. It is a simple thing to do, but can make the world of difference for a child! I know this because this has happened to my child - last year all the kids in my daughters class were invited to a party and not her, and she was absolutely devastated, particularly when the child told my daughter that her mum didn't want her to go. Other kids would say to her "we're invited to the party and you aren't" and other such horrible things, and while I don't feel as if she should have been invited, I do feel that it was unnecessary to cause her upset over being invited when being discreet could have changed everything. I must admit that, in this situation, I did feel pretty badly toward the mum and child involved, because they obviously deliberately excluded my daughter - which is not the case for you! - and that kind of nastiness is something I am trying to teach my children to avoid.

I absolutely don't think you needed to invite him. I completely understand that parents need (and should) set a limit on birthday invites

Having said that I think getting a child to hand out invites at school in front of other kids is not the right thing to do as it makes kids who aren't invited feel excluded. At our school the protocol is invites are given to the teacher and the teacher discreetly puts them in the invited children's communication books to go home

I dont think you are under any obligation to invite this mothers son, or anyone else... we dont invite the whole class, it gets out of hand. It is best though that invites are handed out discretely - for reasons already mentioned above.

We delivered DDs invites to home addresses last year and that went really well plus the kids got a kick out of getting a "letter". This year I dont have everyones address though so will wait till after school and discretely hand them out, I'll give them to parents where I can.